My husband and me have been married for six years now and have just grown apart. He will never leave me because he believes once your married you should deal with whatever comes your way. I just can't take it anymore. It's my life and I'm young and want to live free and happy. He is always giving me grief for the clothes I wear and how I do my hair, etc. He wants a playmate not me. I'm more punk rock. I feel if I leave him, I'll be setting us both free. Is it hard to get divorced. He can have EVERYTHING. I just want to get away.
2007-03-20 00:03:03 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have no kids. And when I tell him I'm going to make my own choices when it comes to my appearance he tells me he will just find me unattractive but will stay with me.
2007-03-20 00:37:28 · update #1
It probably depends on the state you live in. And he will probably fight it. I'm not an expert but I'd say you're looking at 1-2 years.
2007-03-20 00:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no children NO it is no hard to get a divorce. Be prepared for the battle tough, even though you say you don't want any material things. You forgot one thing he wants you! have you really thought this out? Is it really over or is it you just think differently? maybe a good counselor would help. Although I would not like someone to tell me how to dress, since that is a self expression and it is also a form of control. So in some states a do it your self divorce should cost around 200-300.00 dollars. Just remember this is the time a woman is the most vulnerable for abuse, so you should get an attorney or advice. You should also make sure you have enough money to maintain a place of your own before you serve the papers. No matter what you chose be safe and make sure it is a safe journey and dont cut your nose off to spite your face.
2007-03-20 00:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by 1HPYGAL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're willing to throw away your marriage, over an extremely petty issue.
Sure, you're a grown woman, and if you choose to dress in a way that your own husband finds unnatractive, then that's all on you. It's not his fault, and I don't think it is even almost grounds for divorce. Actually, I think it's shows how honest he is, if he tells you straight out that the way you dress isn't appealing to him at all. That's a whole lot better than telling you how "beautiful" you look, and not really meaning it.
I'm guessing that you have dressed that way since before you two met, so I'm wondering why it's such a serious issue all of a sudden.. ?
Forgive me if this sounds mean.. but you come off like a very self-centered and childish girl.
What you are going through is absolutely no grounds for divorce. You need to get your priorities straight, and quit having such a fit over such petty issues.
I agree with your husband.. marriage is meant to be forever, and while there are certain issues that are grounds for divorce.. youre desire to dress like a "punk" is definately not.
When you grow up and mature.. you'll realize how ridiculous this whole thing is.
2007-03-20 02:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The things that you said here on whats going on with your life, your not happy and all. you are making the right move by wanting to divorce him. Find a good and understanding lawyer and tell your side of story, but don't just say that reason why you want to divorce your husband is for the reason that he does not like your appearance and way of life. Just say that you don't have it anymore so that way your husband will not contest it.
Good luck, your a strong person and you know what you wanted in life........6 months is most for divorce to go through..
2007-03-20 01:12:23 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is long and expensive.
If you mean what you say about giving /leaving everything, then when he's gone to work one day, pack your clothes and bits and bobs and just go. You don't have to stay togther while getting divorced, infact you never have to see him again.
Plan where you'll go etc.. then go. If he's aware of how you feel you needn't have a going away 'talk' as this will turn into him crying and begging etc.. Just go and let him put all the blame on you and whatever, as i say you don't need to see him again so it'll leave him with his dignity this way.
It takes a lot of courage to do it but you'll be glad you did in the end
Good luck x
2007-03-20 00:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by RACHEL J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all seriously depends.
Is the husband going to contest the divorce?
Are there any assetts to divide?
Are there any debts to divide?
Children?
Lawyers must be paid, so if you have to raise money, they'll be happy to hold the whole process while you work on payig them.
Personally, I think that unless there is physical abuse, you two should be required to attend marriage counselling before heading to court. In most cases, BOTH parties have misbehaved in some way. I doubt that you're strictly an innocent victim...
2007-03-20 00:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are leaving your husband because he complains about your clothing choices?? Tell him he's a dick and that you're thinking about leaving him because of this and that while you are married, you still have the right to wear whatever the **** you want. He's your husband not your stylist. If he's really as commited as he claims, that will put him in his place. Then seek counselling for the real issues.
2007-03-20 00:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not happy in this marriage, leave before children get involved. Since you're willing to give him everything, it should be relatively simple to dissolve the marriage. Don't let him talk you into staying, if you truly want to leave. As you say, you're young and have plenty of time to make a new life for yourself. We all make mistakes, but we don't have to live with them for the rest of our lives. Move on, if that's really what you want to do.
2007-03-20 01:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a visit to an attorney and filing...then the process usually takes about 3 months. Since your husband is against divorce...a simple annulment or dissolution is out of the question, so you will have to file with the reason being inrecconciable differences
2007-03-20 00:08:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you give him everything then it shouldnt take too long. You have to come up with the down payment upfront. Before you do this though, think long and hard about it first. Is this really what you want to do? It always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it isnt always as it seems to be.
2007-03-20 00:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋