special treatment by people, or to be treated like a charity case..and some people have a tendancy to do this, and it makes me furious and enraged, because i want the spot light to be taken off me. and some people, when they learn about your struggles and what youve been through, they seem to feel it gives them the right to behave like this towards you. plus in a condescending manner to. does anyone else ever feel like this?
2007-03-20 00:02:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I've also been through trauma and had a lot of tragedy in my life. i don't talk about it much with people and only my nearest and dearest know about the things that I've been through. The best thing to do is to keep things to yourself. My Mum was murdered when I was 16, if anyone asks me how she died I just say I don't want to talk about it, as people seem to get really embarrassed when they hear what happened, they don't know what to say etc.. and there is nothing worse than that!!!
You have to tell people how you feel if it bothers you that much, or move somewhere where you can start again and you don;t have to justify anything to anyone
2007-03-20 00:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People wouldn't behave this way if they didn't know what has happened in your life, how are they finding out? It's not necessary to tell anyone your life story. Many people feel uncomfortable when they hear about other peoples difficulties and some feel the need to try to make it better, not for you, but for themselves. If someone tries to be too nice, to treat you as needing help rather than being the survivor of some lousy times then you could turn it around and ask them why they feel the need to behave as they do.
2007-03-20 00:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by freebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all need that special treatment in life ? But I agree with you, I don't like to feel that I am being patronised. Some people don't know how to cope with others misfortunes and when that happens, they might not say what we want to hear. People who care about and want to help will do, listen to their answers maybe they are not being condescending. "The best thing to do is...TALK" I got loads of answer that put me on the road to work out my life... You will to... Good Luck
2007-03-20 01:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by vintagechic1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of my aquaintances don't know my history. I prefer it that way. Those close to me do, and they don't treat me any differently. Maybe that's the answer, only tell those close to you.
On the other hand, I don't know your circumstances and perhaps it's something you cannot hide at the moment, but that will change.
If you help others who have been through similar traumatic situations like you, the spotlight will be taken off you.
Consider taking up counselling, or becoming a Samaritan?
Hope this helps
2007-03-20 00:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dogsbody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i dont tell just anybody about the bad times in my life i had a bad childhood and an even worse teens, so things haven't been easy for me either the only person i have spoken to about this is my bf now it was hard but i had to sit down and tell him these things or i would have lost him he has supported me brilliantly and never judged me, im going to councling for the sake of my relationship but im not sure i will be able to tell them anything things are just so hard for me to talk about i just want to forget, done enough crying through my life dont want to do anymore.
2007-03-20 01:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by suzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people do this intentionally. I think people are amazed and in awe of some things people have had to endure and they feel empathy towards you not sympathy for you. Try to take this the right way and don't get angry. Just speak up and when you tell people about what you've been through, ask them to keep it to themselves. Or you should just stop telling people things. Then they won't have anything to feel bad about. I really do think that most people are just trying to empathize with you.
2007-03-20 02:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the others here have said, Dont go telling just anyone about your life, if people you know ask you then be vague and dont go into detail, or use remarks like "im doing ok.. I'm getting there" etc.
If its family or close friends then its different of course. if it is family that are treating you this way then talk to them, tel them you dont want to be treated like this, if they care for you they will listen and take it on board., just be careful that you do it in a nice way. you dont want to offend them because you might need them in the future
2007-03-20 00:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by wiccan140684 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes hun i do a bit
But the easiest thing to do (I've found) Is not actually talk about your situation.
Or if it comes up don't bemoan it.
And don't try to give others advice by saying well if you think your life is bad, listen to this....
Other than that just say to people thanks for your support but i really don't want to talk about it or even think about it OK?
Most people will be cool with you then.
2007-03-20 00:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be blunt but if you are going to tell everyone your private business you have to expect a reaction from them. If you don't want the spot light on you, don't tell people your problems, only those you know and trust.
2007-03-20 01:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by willowbee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is hard and we have all had our troubles. The best way to deal with people like that is to laugh it off. Smile, shrug and say it doesn't matter, there are a lot of people worse off than me.
2007-03-20 00:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋