Why are sales callers so stupid??

Question

I've just had the second sales call of the day.
They ask to speak to the proprietor of the business, and when I say he's not here, they ask when would be the best time to speak to him?
If they know he's working, what the hell are they asking for??
It really winds me up.
Anyone else? Got any good answers I can use for the next one?

Answer 1

LOL i have

1. Tell them they must have the wrong number, only God lives here.

2. When they call back, tell them this is the devil's residence.

3. Tell them s/he can't come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days.

4. Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock.

5. Start telling them your life story.

6. Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live.

7. Reply to all their questions in song.

8. Ask for someone who can translate Pig Latin, as you speak no other language.

9. Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house - preferably under five. If no such person is available, give the phone to a pet.

10. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly.

11. Start trying to give them a psychological analysis.

12. Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopstick.

13. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning.

14. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today.

15. Describe your socks in detail.

16. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster.

17. Whiningly tell them that it is past your bedtime.

18. Midway through the conversation say, "Oh no Phil! You've done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?"

19. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes.

20. Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM!

21. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong.

22. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more.

23. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!"

24. Tell them about the time you got stuck in the doggy door.

25. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally.

26. Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you returned to Earth.

27. In the middle of the conversation start humming the Sesame Street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"

28. Begin snoring.

29. Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place.

30. Start screaming whenever they say the word "that."

31. Say, "I am so glad you called, I have been waiting and waiting to hear from you!"

32. Answer every question with the phase, "I like eggs."

33. Say "Don't you hate it when you get your tongue stuck in a door?"

34. Tearfully explain "It's you, my long last sister/brother!" as soon as they identify themselves.

35. Complain to them about how outrageous it is that you have to take time out of your busy day to breathe.

36. Start reading them some of your poetry.

37. Occasionally start singing commercial jingles.

38. Suggest that the two of you get together sometime and go bowling.

39. Go into detail about the government's plot to overthrow the universe.

40. Ask them what they would do if there was a dead body on the floor of their living room.

41. Discuss what a wonderful world it would be if we were all born with tails.

42. Whenever they try to get a word in babble on about how young people these days talk way too much, and don't respect their elders. (Works best if they are clearly older than you.)

43. During complete silence ask them if they hear that pounding noise.

44. Make loud pounding noises and when they ask about them say "What pounding noises?"

45. Tell them to hold on a second, set down the phone and sing loudly.

46. Insist on calling them Mr. Spock.

47. Ask them if they will get you a birthday present.

48. Tell them you can't talk now, as you are trapped in an invisible box.

49. Beg them to dispose of your dentist, who is involved in a secret plot that shall result in your demise.

50. Pretend to be an answering machine.

hope that helps

Answer 2

This is really quite simple.

Insult them. Start with something like a graphic description of *precisely* how to perform an impossible sexual act.

Tell them that you've slept with their mother AND their father - both at the same time.

If you have any clues regarding their religion, insult that too.

Keep them om the phone as long as you can. Then ask them after thirty minutes or so:

" Are you in sales? Do you work on a commission basis? How long does it normally take to make a call like this?"

They may go out and commit suicide, but then, in time, the world will smell a little sweeter.

Answer 3

To get them off the phone at home I tell them I rent the house and they can't get on the phone quick enough! The only one is just to leave the phone receiver on the side. They are paying for the bill and can't make any other calls while still connected to your number - go back about 30 minutes later and hang up! How about trying to sell them whatever your company sells/produces etc.?

Answer 4

I always ask for the caller's home number, so that when its a good time for me to do business, I can reach them there....

I also include that I'm eating dinner with my family, etc., so that when I call it isn't intrusive on them.....they alway hang up though so I havn't found if it works yet or not :-)

Answer 5

Say, "yeah, i'll just go get him"

And then put the phone down on the table and walk off, see how long they hang on the line for.

Ha Ha, give Chel1525 the best answer, that made me laugh

Answer 6

I tell them straight if I wanted anything doing I do not need a sales person knocking on my door has im capable of contacting a company.

Answer 7

whilst somebody knocks at your door and that they,re no longer the police or somebody you realize you will possibly nicely be ninety 9% specific its somebody attempting to sell you somthing ! basically make the main retarded grunting noise you could then close the door-concern solved,and in the event that they,ve been cheeky sufficient to 'placed their foot in the door 'start to fasten the door they,ll quickly scarper in no thank you to return.

Answer 8

if they call more than one time a day then it's harrassment. get the name of the company and try to get the name of the person you are speaking with and their supervisors' name. sue them.

Answer 9

Just calm down. Tell them to call back after ...... (tell the time when you're already out) so when they call back, you won't answer the call. lol

Answer 10

They follow a standard script.