i have been in a relationship with a filipina from the philippines for about a year now....we never argue and i visit her often. she seems like the perfect girl. she has a bachelors degree and she works everyday. she is also very catholic and goes to church often. i am just worried that she is too good to be true. are there any other guys who have expirienced long distance relationships with filipinas?? i know that there are rumors of american men being used for a green card and for money - but my girlfriend has never asked for money and it seems she could care less if she comes here of if i would live there with her, as long as we are together. it just seems like she lives for me and that she is more worried about my happiness than hers. i am just confused because american girls are so different, most of the time they are more worried about themselves - the only time my girlfriend is angry with me is when i dont show her enough love....is this too good 2 be true?
2007-03-19 23:34:29 · 19 answers · asked by tyler 2 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
I have been married to a Filipina for the last nine years and have not regretted it.
Many good answers with many different points of view.
"i know that there are rumors of american men being used for a green card and for money " not a rumour it's a sad fact BUT it does not involve all Filipinas.
"i am just confused because american girls are so different" this difference is the inner beauty of the Filipina.
One of the answers stated:
"The best thing to do is to do your own research and figure out what is best for you....on your own. Do not depend on the answers you will get in here to make decisions for you"-this is probably true use all the answers as a guideline only. No-one here, except for you, knows the girl so therefore no-one can pass judgement on her.
"I disagree with your point of view, I think the reason why Filipino women are after and give more attention to foreigners,because foreigners tend to respect Filipino women more than the Filipino men."-
Binbini to be fair I would like to add that not all foreigners show this respect for Filipina's I have known of some (small minority) who mistreat their wives and treat them as second class citizens and of some who prostitute their wives-thankfully only a small minority. The rest of your answer should be sending a warning to Filipino men.
Tyler, I read the translation of the letter, basically go with your gut feeling. Good luck to you and I hope that everything works out for you.
Oh yes, if she is as good as she sounds you are one lucky guy.
2007-03-20 19:05:25 · answer #1 · answered by PC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a Filipina, I have been in a relationship but only with Filipinos but let me just share some few things..
Filipino women loves this way, the way you described it, maybe not all, but based from my experience and the people around me we do love this way..
I am not generalizing it but for Filipinos,
If you love a person you would always want to be with that person you love..
You said "she is more worried about my happiness than hers" because her happiness is your happiness.. Maybe not the way your used to especially you grew up in a totally different culture from ours but for us that is one of the ways we show our true love, what you call selfless love..
And yes Filipinas do get angry if you do not show her enough love as she expects from you because if she loves you she also wants to be loved in return ofcourse..
It is too good to be true but it happens...
BUT, Tyler we do not know the girl you are talking about.. You know her so you should also know if she's just pretending or not..
In my opinion it will be unfair for her if you hire a private detective or something just like what i read in one answer here, because this will mean that you totally do not trust her..
In your question you are only concerned of her love for you.. if she's lying or not.. but what about you?? do you love her?? and do you trust her?? If you don't really trust her that means you don't love her and there's no point of continuing your relationship..
If you are not sure of her feelings for you and your feelings for her then take time knowing each other...
Also prayer really helps..<;
2007-03-20 18:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by qt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have read the answers and you got some good responses and advice. I have known many filipinas myself, but you are much more fortunate in that you can and do visit your girlfriend. I have been cheated by a few as well as their families were all involved, that's another story. You failed to mention if you have sexual relations with this pinay? It's no ones business of course, but if you had I would think you have your own answer here. I had relationships there before and I think a good judge of character, only to stop the allowance and soon after, get a dear John letter and that was after one year. I am older and as it's said a fool and his money is soon parted, but I learned and enjoyed the experience, sometimes as well. The intelligent filipina needs not to ask you for money, earning your trust will get her more cash, rings and a home perhaps. It appears your girlfriend is real and cares. There are private investigators there that are good and can learn about her and her family and follow her etc. I know of several American older men that as soon as they got here in months, the filipina took off. Some have friends and lovers already here and looking for a man to provide the funds and means to get here, then take off. If you doubt this woman this much, perhaps it's your own feelings you are in doubt of. You name the situation here, and I have probably experienced it or heard about it. If you love and want the woman, be brave and take the first step, propose and marry her, unless you don't trust her, if so there must be a reason here you aren't sharing. Not one word in your question that you love her. Luck
2007-03-20 04:03:45 · answer #3 · answered by AJ 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I will tell you what I got from experience.
I am a Filipina and I was married to an American guy. I loved him and I never asked for gifts from him even during birthdays or Christmas. Sometimes he would give me gifts, sometimes not, I didn’t cared. I always tell him that if I want something, I'd get it myself. I have a Bachelor’s degree and I was working in the Philippines when I met him and never thought I’d end up in America. I worked so I could help him build our lives and I never sent money to my family in the Philippines.
He was a nice guy really. Meaning he was kind enough and gentle enough and he never hit me. I could complain that he never helped me at home, not even taking out the garbage. I would think he would since both of us are working. Our problems started when he cheated on me. I tried to work it out with him but he just kept on lying, even lied to the preacher who was helping us so in the end I didn’t have any choice but to divorce him. I just cannot live in a relationship where trust and honesty doesn’t exist. Filipinas generally make loyal wives but they demand the same thing in return.
2007-03-20 06:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by ohioan_femme 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Hasn't asked for money jumped out at me like a beacon. That is the key my friend. The gold diggers ask usually by the 2nd or 3rd correnspondence. This sounds just like the courtship with my wife. We met online and and emailed a thousand times and letters and phone calls. She finally asked for money to help with her expenses in the fiance paperwork, and then only needed $200. She was very simple and down to earth, being from the far North, Dagupan. We are now happily married for 5 years with two beautiful children. Too good to be true? No. Truly good, yes.
2007-03-20 12:06:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, you are lucky to have her.. I am telling you now.. Filipina are different with american ladies.. I will not generalize, but majority of them are really caring and thoughtful..
I am filipina who married american guy. He always told me that we (filipina) are different from american ladies I dont know why he said that. I love my husband so much.. I did not marry him because of green card or anything.
American always think that we marry them because of greencard. Well, they are wrong... There is a lot of Filipino that are more educated than americans..
There is no difference of living in the USA and living in the Philippines.. We all both pay taxes, the only difference only is that, USA have more better opportunity for jobs in all ages which is not in the philippines.. But if you compare these 2, it more nice to live in the Philippines because of lower cost of living.
No one can tell if your filipina gf is faking.. You can feel it inside yourself if she is honest with you.
If you love your girlfriend, you will not care about rumors and anything..Just follow your heart.. but of course be wise..
2007-03-19 23:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by just me 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Possibly. It is a red flag if your girlfriend appears to "live for you" only. Besides being unhealthy scenarion in any relationship and an indicator of possible low self-esteem on her part, such behavior can be reasonably construed to verify your GF's not so enviable hidden agendas (green card or desperation). That's just my gut feeling.
As much as you think you know her, remember this: if you're the type who had trouble understanding an American woman and hence probably why you are with a Pinay now, what makes you think you can fathom a Filipina's mind better? After all, we are talking about a woman from a very different culture, race, religion , society, mannerisms and above all, language.
You gotta be realistic, man.
Also, I happen to agree with Filamusa's comment: "Go flirt with and try to date as many asian girls as you can that are already legal residents of your country. Make sure that they have a greencard. See what happens. See if you get a date with any of them."
2007-03-20 09:32:43 · answer #7 · answered by Well 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Yes, I've had long-distance relationships with many Filipinas and been wiser for experience. Sure, ALL men holding US or EU passports are a target for Filipina women. The demands dont start when the relationship is "long-distance." Demands pour in like a flood when you and her get closer. Same with the cash. Get married and you'll soon find yourself battling for her US visa..if you are an American...and supporting her entire family- parents, brothers, sisters, their spouses, kids et.al.
But generally, Filipina women are good, provided you know how to keep the money-visa business out of the relations. They are excellent home-makers and truly loving, though the ways in which they show it differs in many ways. Some Filipina women are simply happy they have a foreign spouse because their own men are pretty irresponsible and leave a woman with kids to seek fresher...shall we say..pastures??? Also, a majority of Filipina women are honest with their partners and will bear much more than other women, in cases of conflict.
Yes, the visa-money pill can be very bitter. Most governments now are aware of the "backdoor" entry that some Filipina women attempt and hence, getting her to your homeland can be some real bother. I've heard of cases where American men have had to wait for as long as four years to get a entry visa to the US...because it needed to be cleared by some authority in D.C.
2007-03-19 23:49:12 · answer #8 · answered by papars 6 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Tyler ... I do not envy you because you're clearly in a tough position. Normal caution dictates you should be at least a little suspicious. However, based on what you've said, there isn't any reason to doubt her.
In such a case, I think the best advice is to let time tell. If there's something fishy going on, sooner or later any false pretense will be revealed. If you rush to determine her true motives, that would involve "testing," a possible insult to your relationship. But if you're too hasty to fully trust her, you could get left empty-handed. Therefore, taking your time might be the most ethical and effective course of action.
Do you think so? All the best to you, Tyler.
2007-03-19 23:51:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
i would like to answer this question. i think not in general that Filipino women are aftering the green card/money/looking for green pastures...etc. because there are some women in the Philippines too who can afford everything, or in short is wealthy also. and not exactly a certain country like Philippines are targetting capable or wealthy foreigners, BUT there are some foreigners too (as i knew) from Europe who is also looking for these kind of women to be his future wife just because of the wealth of that woman and not because of the real love he has for that woman.
so i think this is a case by case situation. though precautions must be needed to avoid regrets in the aftermath.
2007-03-20 00:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by ~o0o~ 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋