and contacting other women... I am good to him, super gorgeous and sexy... i feel that he is jealous of me and forces me to stay at home... threatening me too... it is a cultural thing as well... I am a western woman married to a man from middle east... I really do love him a lot.
2007-03-19 23:22:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave him.
2007-03-19 23:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by coffee37man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little concerned about your desire to "Put your husband in his place". I'm also concerned about all the answers I'm seeing here involving you presenting your husband with ultimatums.
There's a slightly different approach available. Tell him that YOU ARE going out when you want to. You are not going to be unfaithful to him, but you're going to lead a life apart from him, when it suits you. Don't present it as an ultimatum, just present it to him as a fact. Talk it over with him. It sounds like you care about him. If this is true, you should be able to overcome this difficulty through communication and mutual understanding for your cultural differences.
Trying to put him in his place is needlessly adversarial. You need to avoid a situation where you're setting up a power struggle. Make sure he understands that when he gets involved with a Western girl, the rules are different then they are back in the "old country".
Remember: It's not a case of you leaving him if he doesn't allow you your freedom, it's just a fact that his current attitude isn't going to fly here. Not for you, or anybody else. He has to bend. You have to give him time to do it.
2007-03-19 23:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by DiesixDie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no doubt that you love him but it doesn't sound like he respects you or your relationship. The fact that he's threatening you alarms me and I fear for your safety. I don't think you stand a chance of "putting him in his place" since it's very clear that he's put you in yours. These types of behaviors don't just show up one day. I'm assuming that this was established as normal/acceptable behavior in the beginning of your relationship and now, all of a sudden, it's not ok. Honestly, you should have put your foot down long ago. It's going to be much harder for you to assert yourself now that he's established that his behavior is acceptable. I would not recommend Dr. Phil (he's a quack in my opinion) and I also would not recommend dating other men as that may infuriate him and put the other man and yourself in physical danger. If your husband is a good man, you should be able to sit down and express your concerns without feeling uncomfortable. If he makes you nervous or scared, you may want to seek professional help (check your phone book for hotlines and get some advice from trained professionals -- not these Dr. Phil recommending Yahoos). Good luck, be strong.
2007-03-19 23:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by answerguru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you if he is out womanizing why did you marry him if you knew he was like this? Get rid of him men from the middle east are controlling and some are even abusive, i was married to one and it was not pleasant the verbal abuse, the jealousy, the hitting. Divorce him because he will never change and you can do alot better.
2007-03-19 23:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love only takes you so far, and respect has to pick up the rest. If you're not happy, eventually your love for him will start to fade. A relationship has to have balance, and without that you may start to grow resentment (if not already). Talk to him about how you feel. If he doesn't respect that, cultural differences or not, than he doesn't feel the way about you that he should.
2007-03-19 23:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and leave him since he is contacting other women and more then likely cheating on you. He also seems very controlling. He should NEVER threaten and control you this way. File for divorce once you leave and do not look back. I think he has the potential of being abusive to you someday as well. Also please go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter as well.
2007-03-19 23:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While he's out... invite other guys over. Why let a gorgeous sexy thing like you go to waste?
2007-03-19 23:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know what everybody is going to tell you.If your man is jealous of you he doesn't really love you.If he loved you like he's suppose to he'd want you to be happy not miserable at home.That's not love it's CONTROL.I'm sure you've heard of it now why don't you get some on your own life.
2007-03-19 23:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by lady2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he's lost his damn mind if he thinks you're going to put up with this. If he wants to treat his wife like this, then he should of married somone from his country because where you come from, you don't have to put up with anything you don't want to.
2007-03-20 00:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a hobby because if you love him you gotta submit, try to do things with him when he goes out.
2007-03-19 23:52:55 · answer #10 · answered by Kendra H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. find a different past time. go out when he leaves. invite friends over. you need a social life as well, it's only fair. offer to hang out with him.
2007-03-19 23:26:11 · answer #11 · answered by Kisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋