We've been married for several months and even though it might sound stereotypical, we do love eachother very much, there's no doubt about that.There is a problem though and I don't know how to handle it.He's the flirty type, I know he is, he even told me that the day before our marriage.He has accounts on some sites for adults,where people put pictures of them naked :(, a matchmaker one, you know the type. I know he flirts with different women over the internet using MySpace and sometimes when I enter the computer room I can hear him rapidly closing 2-3 windows.I've asked him about the site and he said that he enjoys observing people,and that he's not trying to mislead anybody and that I really have nothing to worry about.But I know that he tried getting some girl's phone number just a few weeks after we got married(she refused him), and it's not just that, but he enjoys complimenting them about how they look and so on. What should I do? Please, I need honest opinions on this.
2007-03-19 23:02:10 · 15 answers · asked by dunguta123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also want to add that he's older than I am.There are 16 years between us. I don't know what to think, this is eatting me from the inside :( I do believe him and we do have great time together..I am thinking that maybe I'm exagerating.
2007-03-19 23:27:53 · update #1
I was the flirting type when I was single...big time flirt. Now i am married and my flirting is done. He needs to figure out if he needs attention from other woman that dont know him or care about him, or if he needs attention from his wife who will be there for him for the rest of his life. Tell him straight out. Men and women are not really that different and both seek out attention sometimes even if it hurts their current relationship, just make sure he realizes what he is doing
2007-03-20 01:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by John D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry hun.. but there's a huge difference between just being "flirty" and flat out hitting on other women.. What your husband is doing, is very disrespectful to you and the vows you took.
I'm married to a wonderful man. Some people would say he's "flirty" but I think it's more like he's just naturally friendly, with pretty much everyone. It's perfectly fine with me, because I'd rather have a man who is nice and kind hearted, than one who is rude to people. That's a good quality..
What your husband is doing, is totally different. He is actually out there trying to get phone numbers.. as well as being on sites, looking at other woman naked.. That's not right.
I'm sorry, but it sounds like he has the potential to cheat.. unless he makes some serious changes in his behavior.
I really hope everything works out for you, so that you both can be happy.
Take care!
2007-03-20 09:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating on you. Maybe not physically yet but he's trying to get there fast. Getting rid of the computers in your situation probably will help but my guess is he's going to object under the premise that he told you he liked to flirt before you got married and he'll threaten divorce and say you're trying to change him.
Sounds like you really wanted to get married and you married a dud. Sounds like all the signs were there prior to you marrying him tha he liked other women but you ignored those and now here you are. My guess is you'll be divorced within a year, please do not have any kids with him.
2007-03-20 06:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get the book WIld at heart by John Eldredge. It will help you understand this boy you married better. I wonder what he would do if you put a sexy picture of yourself on his pc as a screen saver! LOL No seriously read that book and leave it lying around near his pc. its very good and actually written for men. It will make you understand this lad better!!!!
2007-03-20 06:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does he need to be checking out other women, if your the one he loves. He's dirty girl and you only see what he wants you to. Why would he have to hurry and close windows if he has nothing to hide. I would get some spy ware, then you would have proof, plus you will have every site, girl, password etc. Then he can't deny it. you don't deserve that.
2007-03-20 06:19:09 · answer #5 · answered by paris b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your man needs to have eyes only for you. You have only been married several months-and him asking a gal for her phone number? Not cool for a married guy to do that. He is off limits to all women, but you, his wife. Take care.
2007-03-20 06:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by SAK 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I consider porno-cheating on me.
We had this issue in my house and I literally got rid of the computer's internet and once the entire computer.
This means nothing to me......I can live without a computer, no problem. I don't want to loose my husband to it.
2007-03-20 06:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Denise W 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
maybe its time you start using the computer more and do the same thing hes doing and then he will see how its hurts and bothers you.
2007-03-20 06:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by godiggity203 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is out of order, ask him how he'd feel if you did it, then tell him he stops it and stops going on the computer and spend time with you. he should be complimenting you not other woman. if my husband did that he'd be out the door. its Cheating. good luck you deserve better than that.
2007-03-20 06:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Tell him his flirting and making excuses for it is something you're not buying. The only "bye" you're interested in is telling him "bye" if he doesn't knock this **** off.
2007-03-20 07:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋