my husband told me that he is not good enough for me . he wants me to have a better life and he will have a new life without me . there is so much we been through and i never knew he felt that way with me . all i wanted for him was his happiness and i failed .. i had given the best of my love and he said he had pain and he cant take it .. i never knew i made him feel pain around me , i would have never hurt him in anyway ..
2007-03-19 22:56:24 · 11 answers · asked by ver 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to him~ nothing is better than communication~
2007-03-19 23:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by Pessimist 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he has met someone and is making you look like you are the failure when in actual fact he is a looser. THere is no love and there is no respect for one another and this is the problem. He is taking a chance with you. You are not a failure, but if you give up and dont fight back you are a fool. If you love this man, win him back. What did you do when you met him and how have you treted him since you got married. Do you pick on him and try to control him. Are you manipulative and conniving or have you turned into a little doormat and allowed him to try and change you?
Look at all angles and seek help.
Personally i think he has met someone else and thinks the grass is going to be greener on the other side. I have bad news for him, he is in for the biggest shock of his life. He is operating with the word SELFISHNESS. You are not to listen to this. Operating in the arena of feelings and emotions is not good especially when the feelings and emotions are negative. Positive ones are fine but its the negative ones we have to override. Its all a matter of choice. Gain confidence. CHoose to become confident again. Choose to be dignified and to walk with integrity. Choose to be and encourager and exhorter and choose to walk with God. CHoose the positive things and you will reap the same and visa versa!
Im sorry for your crisis but I think it will blow over. Those words you heard were from an immature mouth not that of a wise man! He is trying to test the ground and find out what you really feel apart from trying to hurt you in the process. He needs to grow up. DOnt react negatively. React positively.
2007-03-20 06:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like theres more here than you see. Sounds like he does want out but for some unseen reason like theres someone else. If Im wrong I deeply apologize but dont think so. Hes trying to build you up and himself down as a way to ease the pain of a divorce. Men usually dont do this so this is highly unusual. What tips me off it the comment about a new life without you. It sounds like he already has a new life and is ready to get it started. This is in no way your fault. In fact it sounds like you did everything you could to make this marriage work, he just changed and has grown apart from you for whatever reason. If this is the way he feels, then make sure you get everything you want in divorce court. Be prepared for the real reason to come out. Again I deeply apologize if Im wrong. Good luck
2007-03-20 06:08:57 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe he doesn't really love you like how you love him..because if a person loves someone no matter how hard life is, he will never ever think of a life without his love one.. and the fact that most person couldn't live a life without there love one is, he might just want to be free from you and find someone else. He saying that he's not good for you is just an excuse...he couldn't just tell you how he really feel because it will make his image bad to you..if it will end in separation..he want it to be blamed with nobody...let him go..
2007-03-20 06:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by kristine-ave 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and help for you and for this marriage. Why does he feel pain when he is with you? You need to ask him why. You guys need to work on your marriage so you can have a better and happier life and marriage together. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-03-20 06:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is depressed and he really feels he is not good enough for you. Depression can be treated via therapy. Or he has been planning this for awhile and he may be trying to let you down easy. Counseling is in order and if he will not go then get counseling for yourself. I wish you well
2007-03-20 06:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Arthur W.
Sorry, it sounds the the whole it's not you it's me story.I think he has other plans in the works. Be very careful. I am so sorry because I know it hurts. Don't beat yourself up, if that's what he's doing than you don't need him.
2007-03-20 06:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by paris b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a bunch of baloney. He wants out of the marriage . He most probably has a girl friend. I would bet my bottom dollar on it.
Sure he wants a new life.
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.. You are very naivete, and gullable
2007-03-20 06:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds to me like hes putting all the blame on you, when its a joint problem sounds like you've tried all you can so you can hold your head up high. why don't you try a trail separation and see how you both feel, maybe he's depressed and should seek medical help.
2007-03-20 06:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get some counseling--both of you. Good luck
2007-03-20 06:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋