2007-03-19 22:55:35 · 12 answers · asked by missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him you're not the ex and if he keeps this up, you will be.
2007-03-20 00:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. So sorry to hear about your marriage. Unfortunately, this is not a problem you can solve by yourself. It has to be a combined joined effort..you and your husband. He has to realize that not all marriages or people are the same. Even though the layout can be the same, the situations vary. He has to try and put the past behind him and look to the present with positivity. Its understandable that there are things that are unforgetable (and you have to understand this), especially if there was a lot of pain involved, but that is the past. The future can be beautiful and it is a shame that it should be spolit by the past.
You should reassure him at all times. NEVER mentioned his ex-wife even in a hot argument. The temptation is great to say things like "no wonder your ex....." in a very heated situation but bite your tongue. Tell him that you are not her and show him that you love him. Sometimes its not so much the things we say but what we can do. Actions speak louder than words and this is very true.
Understand his pain. If you have had past boyfriends, think of one you really loved....think of the pain when that relationship broke and how you felt with your new relationships after that. failing marriages can be very painful and degrading, be patient.
If all else fails why don't you try marriage therapy. Some men are reluctant to go but you can go on your own, show him that you want to save your marriage at all costs...one day he may hitch up with you, you never know.
I hope I have helped something.
I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you can solve your marriage and live happily ever after. We all deserve it.
Good luck!! Jamidami
2007-03-20 06:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by jamidami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and help for you and for this marriage. Your husband needs counseling and help for his past as well to heal and get over it. Did he marry you on the rebound if i may ask?
2007-03-20 06:18:44 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please consider talking with him about getting some counseling. At least for him. He needs someone to talk with about what happened in his previous marriage, and how it's effecting him, and this marriage. I wish the two of you the best. Take care.
2007-03-20 06:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband could benefit from some counselling....sometimes it helps just to talk to a professional.
2007-03-20 05:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Being that you did not bother to provide any details about this insecurity or pain, how do you expect anyone here to give you any meaningful advice???
2007-03-20 06:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to sleep in the bed you made, guess ya didn't wait long enough to see the issues coming before marriage, bet it seem'd like a good idea at thye time
2007-03-20 05:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
hmm...its not the case only with divorcees but boyfrnds too...
so the way out is...give a listening ear...but if he starts comparing u with his ex wife...do not simply start fighting...infact don't even talk bout it when he cools down...prepare a yummy meal for him...talk bout nice things that make him happy ...he'll be expecting some defence from ur side...ur defence is ur composure...works wonders...
2007-03-20 06:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by close_in_destroy_everything 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you made your bed lie in it
2007-03-23 19:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
deal with it slowly..with maturity and tact...
2007-03-20 09:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by Jennie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋