How do you say it?

Question

I'm 18 and married to a 26 year old. Obviously, I have jumped the gun and got myself involved in something I am not sure I want any more. I do not know what, exactly, is wrong. It could be our sex-life, it could be that I want another man, or just the usual post-marriage jitters. But how do I tell him that? Especially when I can't answer his "Why?", "What did I do wrong?", and "Tell me how to change?". Any good advice, whether it's what I want to hear or not, is very appreciated. ("You were stupid to marry him!" does not count, by the way, because I already know how odd and unnatural by society's standards my marriage is.)

Answer 1

Sit and talk about it with him. It wont be easy! Both of you put your emotional cards on the table and go from there. Their is no answer but the one you both come up with together. Outside advice should be shared between you both or it could do more harm than good. Stay clear of Social Standards!!!!!! Make your own decisions with a lot of thought and patience and be openminded to eachothers comments.

Answer 2

At least you are smart enough to realize you made a serious error of judgement. I just wish that you were a little smarter to not make the same one again so soon.
We seem to live in a world where it's throw away everything. If this don't work, I'll throw it out and get another. Instant gratification is the name of the game but when we start playing with other peoples' feelings and emotions and breaking hearts, it is more serious than throwing out a bic lighter. I urge you not to be too hasty in doing anything too fast. The only thing you can be fast about is to get help. Professional help! Not the kind another guy seems only too willing to give you but which would surely end up worst than you can even imagine. Men have a long memory for things like this and in no time the next one will think that if you could do it to this first husband, you could do it to him just as well. He'd not trust you for long. That's for sure. Put the cards on the table in the most honest manner you can and if necessary get a temporary separation but not to go galanvanting with other guys. You need time to get to understand your own heart and mind. Only the heart is treacherous as you just found out. Remember, whatever you do, that what goes around comes around and that if you have no good reason to leave your husband, stay and love the one you have. You'll learn and grow if you do. If you run, you'll keep on running from problems all your life and the problems will just get worst. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 gives you a real idea of what love is and it's not like "instant coffee". It does require effort and learning on your part. Praying doesn't hurt either in these matters. In the name of Jesus, ask your heavenly Father to help you see clearer what is the course to take and if you could only have faith in His power to help you, even now, just the size of a mustard seed, you could avoid a lot of problems for yourself in the future.
People all over the world often marry someone they didn't even chose and make it work because the know that women must respect their husbands. If he is not a bad person, give him a chance to show the man he really is (no one is perfect you know!) and thank him for giving you the chance to grow... from the child that you still are into the wonderful woman and wife that he probably deserves.

Answer 3

look girl...u urslf don't know what is goin wrong b\w u n him...or may be just u....
this guy's ready to work on his weak points once u tell him where he's wrong..but for that u at least need to discover
u said maybe u need another man...is there another man in ur life already?..or u building castles in the air...do u guys don't agree on some things?...its u who can answer the q n solve the problem...i know being a teenager, u have a restless mind...better engage urslf in other curriculum activities..there are alot of things ur yet to explore...is ur marriage hampering ur urge to move out to the world without any obligations?
i believe u have an understanding husband...like u know u shouldn't have gotten into the marriage thing so early...but then u can always make it work....

Answer 4

You 2 may need a marriage counselor to help you both sort out the issues. Everyone should be required to see one once they are married and before any divorce. It would probably save a lot of marriages because usually simple communication issues between men and women are the problems

Answer 5

You just need to be honest. Tell him exactly how you feel. You don't have to fight and make each other upset. Explain you aren't sure how you feel and that it has nothing to do with him. You are young so obviously you are nervous about being settled down already. That's perfectly natural. If you don't really love him and if you don't think you can hamdle being married anymore you need to tell him. You owe him at least that much.

Answer 6

Tell him you are the one changing not him, and you are not sure if you made the right decision at such a young age. Reassure him it is not him and for your own sake go get some counseling. This man married you for better or worse, immaturity is not a reason to get divorce neither is lusting after another man. If you can't commit to your husband, leave him, he deserves better then what you are offering. Be honest to yourself and to him.

Answer 7

sounds exactly like the siutatoin i was in . 18 married to a 25 year old, crappy sex life and miserable. wound up staying until i was 25 really ruined a lot of my life. dont have much advice just glad to hera im not the only one to make a mistake that way.

Answer 8

Forget the age difference, i think that is fine. Do you love him? If you want another man i dont think you do. Just tell him what you feel tell him your having second thoughts. It is kinda late now...i guess you gona have to try to make you marriage work out.

Answer 9

just be honist and come out and tell him the truth dont keep anthing from him a healthy relationship is a honist one maybe you need to take some thinking time for you i am not saying either one of you are a bad people but sometimes these things happen good luck

Answer 10

Honestly it's not that he is older. It is that you are to young. No one should get married before 25. That's when you should be out experiencing life and enjoying the world.