My ex and I have been long distance for about 3 years, and it is really getting hard for him( for me too I just see a bigger picture here), causing fustration and tension between the two of us. We have been fighting off and on because for the last 6 months I have been further away on job assignments that he told me to take( which were clearly talked about before accepting them). He blames me now for taking these jobs after telling me he was ok with them. He tells me that this is the reason why our relationship is failing. And he really thinks he has no fault in this situation. I know that he is lonely(me too) , but I fell like something else is going on because it is like one day he wants me and the next day he dosen't. We are at a terrible state right. I love him and really want ot be with but he is confusing me. I need some advice.
2007-03-19 21:16:05 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think when he advised you to go ahead with your trips that he was hoping inwardly that you would stay home and choose him over your job. I don't think he's very secure within himself if he can't see an overall picture, too. To have an opportunity to travel for a company on job assignments seems to be a good one for you. He has to overcome a sense of selfishness and to accept the fact that you are out to better yourself. It doesn't mean the relationship has to be over. I personally would be happy for you if I were in the relationship. Sit him down and tell him that you don't want to see the relationship end because of your job. Give him details of the version of the "bigger picture" that you envision for you and for both of you. If it includes him, that should give him the security knowing that he's included in your future. If not, make a decision on what's more important. The job or him. But, I do think he's the confused one, not you.
2007-03-19 21:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just as there are times that a woman wants the guy to say no the guy wants the woman to say no. he says yes, even though he would rather you not, because that is showing he loves you and off you go to pursue your goals and get rich and he knows that every time says yes to the assignments and you go, his importance/releveance in your life diminishes. While he may be showing his love and ensuring that later you dont bring up how he held you back. and some women do have a long memory in an argument - not that you do but, hey just watch TV - a reflection of what is perceived in society. Maybe once in a while he should say no and you accept that and believe your togetherness is more important than the money and career or you should just stay broke up and not think about a relationship until after you have your goals and wealth You could even take a long truthful look at yourself and see what is really important to you, a lasting relationship or gathering of stuff and all material things, glory and celebrity. Moreover you can listen to a couple of the first answers and buy into the "its never my fault always someone elses and they have the problem" philosophies, those are both prevelent in america and other english speaking countries. I suggest self reflection accepting ones own share of responsibility and holding self accountable.
2016-03-29 07:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you (and hopefully the ex) are naturally finding out that long distant relationships almost always NEVER work out.
You and he must face this as fact, break off clean and wish the other well--hard and heart-aching as this may be for either of you--it HAS to be done. From there, carry on wiser for having lived the lesson learned.
2007-03-19 21:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should be long distance from a partner. Find away to stay close or your going to lose your relationship. I mean, if you both truly want it to work. Stop the blaming now, and work on spending every spare moment together...Hope it works out!!!!!
2007-03-19 21:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the beginning of the sentence you state "ex bf". Then how come you both feel lonely. Since you have parted ways, it is better you stay out of each other's life. Furthermore, he too is immature and cannot make up his mind. It is better to forget him forever.
2007-03-19 21:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋