My girlfriend is 41/2 months pregnant and we just broke up, im devastated?

Question

Hi there. As it says in the title. Ever since I found out we were going to have a baby, i have been the happiest man alive. Unfortuanlty our relationship hasnt. From the get go even though it was unplanned and it couldnt have come at a worse time I have promised to stand by her. Everything was going ok until her ex came back into her life when he found out she was pregnant. She says they are still friends and wanted to tell him, which is cool, but he never went away. He was always there, then i picked up on some flirting going on between the two of them, like playing with each others hair I made it quite clear I had a problem with this and she told me i was seeing things and was looking for it. She keeps on doing it and tell me they have a long past and i shouldnt expect her to change the way she behaves around him. I tried to do this but she is the future mother of our unborn child and just cant do it. She was doing again the other day and I just exploded,so she broke up with me

Answer 1

Blatancy like that on her part is just uncalled for.
She should be more focused on her family than her ex. He is an ex for a reason.
Don't play second fiddle to him.
If you and her don't work it out that doesn't mean you can't be part of the babies life.

Answer 2

Whoa man what kind of a girl is she? I'm sorry to say this but she sounds like a right *****. She is so self centred. What I'm going to say next may shock you but it's the way my mind works. Are you sure the baby is yours? maybe just maybe she planned to have her ex round to flirt with her to the point that she knew that you would explode, thus giving her an easy reason to break up with you? She could have been seeing her ex long before you were aware. If on the other hand the baby is yours then why not try and met with her ex separately and try and explain to him that you really want to make a go of the relationship for the sake of your unborn child. Try and make him understand that your hurting and this is going to change your life completely.

Hope it works out for you.

:)

Answer 3

Her ex is an ex for a reason. She must remember why they broke up and why they stayed apart. I don't understand why she felt the need to tell him she was pregnant. I certainly didn't contact all my ex's, whether I was in touch with them or not, to let them know that I was pregnant.

I think she should have more respect for you and your feelings. If something that she is doing makes you feel uncomfortable then she should stop doing it. From the point of finding out she was pregnant she should have been focusing on the future. Which of course was the two of you and your unborn child. If your relationship was already rocky bringing an ex into the equation can only make things work.

I would speak to her and ask her if she really wants a future with you. If she says yes then she has to cut all ties with her ex for now and focus on being a family with you and your unborn child. I certainly would never openly flirt in front of my partner. I respect him and value our relationship too much to put it in jeopardy. Ask yourself whether you really can make a go of things or whether you'd be better parents apart. After all, your main priority is now your unborn child.

I hope it all works out for you!

Answer 4

Hang in there, to ask the awful question " are you sure it's yours?" if she's still with this guy, was it going on behind your back?

If you're happy it's yours, go to her Mum/Dad/Granny, explain you want to be with her, but you've been pushed out by this other guy, ask them for advice , this is their grandchild, and they'll want the best for it, that would include knowing its Dad. Then step back from the situation, leave her alone , and save up a small amount of cash every week, into an account. If you're the Dad, when she comes round you'll be in a position to have a say. ( If you're not, you'll have a fund for a holiday!)
Pregnant women have mad hormones, but still, playing two guys off at this time is really bad.
You are going to have to be More mature, once her family see you are doing the right thing, then they will be on your side, and they'll work on her.
Whatever you do, don; 't upset her , even though she's in the wrong, its bad for the baby, and definitely don't be physically rough, you'll lose everything.

M : )

Answer 5

Chris, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with Angel that you were right to set boundaries, it is just unfortunate that she feels no need to respect them. I also feel that you should just give her some time. I am certain that this relationship with the ex will run it's course and she will remember why he is her "ex". Continue being supportive without being pushy. Remember that with pregnancy comes a lot of wacky hormones and take it with a grain of salt. Even if you two were on the very best terms, there would still be moments of uncertainty. One thing that I will suggest is that if you are not on great terms with her parents, that you sincerely make efforts towards this. Two reasons 1-when women are pregnant, they NEED their mothers (it's a hormonal thing-trust me) and 2-no matter what happens with her other relationship, you need it to be apparent that you are concerned for the well being of your child. Some people may disagree with me and that's fine. This is just my honest opinion. I have seen many fathers who LOVE their children get pushed out of their lives. Good luck, Congratulations, and Best Wishes!
P.S. If you truly love her and want this relationship to work, be prepared to be forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes and if you harbor ill feelings about anything that may or may not have happened, your relationship will only suffer.

Answer 6

remember that her ex...is an ex for a reason. he might be flirting now but do you really think that he would want a girlfriend who was pregnant by another man? i dont think so.

if you exploded at her..maybe you frightened her? try to concentrate on the wonderful little baby that you both are going to bring into the world...things will change when it arrives and you will be part of its life. dont worry so much - she'll come round...hormones are all over the place when you are having a baby and sometimes we do or say things that we dont really mean!! - hope it all goes well though!

Answer 7

How old are you guys? You sound really young. Are you even sure that the baby is yours? I'm sure you want to be with her, but if she's that disrespectful, maybe a relationship isn't the best thing for you all. You can still be there for your child, without dating the mom. Word to the wise, get a pregnancy test when the baby gets here...if she's still flirting she might be doing other things.

Answer 8

Well, this is a tough one. But try to be a little bit more broad minded here. She is going thru one of the tough times more than you are. As you say it was unexpected and has come at a bad time. So try to have a little more control over your feelings before you explode. You don’t want to strain the situation more than it already is.

Give some cooling time, then be calm and talk to her about how you feel. Don’t get in to an argument even if she is rude, after all I understand how much this baby means to you. The more you get annoyed the more chances that guy has for winning your gf.

Good luck!!

Answer 9

Technically....definite i might say its hassle-free. I artwork finished time and that i dont get extra breaks or something like that. in the event that they have been providing you with a tricky time approximately leaving for an appointment or some thing then i could be mad too and set them as we talk, yet whilst the lunch line is a controversy then p.c.. a lunch. deliver small snacks with you and a bottle of water in case you ought to. Thats all I do. I truthfully think of you're creating slightly extra effective deal of this then needed.

Answer 10

I feel so sorry for you. It is probably worth letting things lie for a short time before trying to rebuild your relationship. Even if you don't get back together, you need some kind of accommodation (not living space!) with each other which will allow you to spend time with your new baby, when it arrives.