how can i trust him again and how to heal myself?

Question

i caught my husband cheating through his cellphone which he kept locked all the time. when i got the chance to have it unlocked, i saw pictures of him with 8 different girls in out car. we talked and he said some just friends and the rest he said some girls he liked. i called the girls and some said that they were just friends. and some said they were sorry cause they didnt know he was married. my husband promised me he's changed and that he prayed long before that he wanted to so if this is God's way for him to change then he would. the thing is how can i trust him? how can i heal myself and how can i make sure that he'll never do it again?

Answer 1

He has to EARN your trust back. Cell phone can't be locked anymore and more time needs to be spent at home.

if he is not willing to be open and honest, maybe you should move on. Too many guys today don't give a crap how much they hurt you as long as they get what they want and need.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Sometimes you can never get those things back, but if you ever want the possibility of having them back, he's going to have to prove to you that he can be trusted. I 've been through hurt in my marriage not exactly the same as yours, but it caused me to not trust him. If he's really going to change, he won't hide anything from you anymore and he'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that there's nothing going on. The healing part....once you begin to trust him again and believe that he's being honest with you the healing will start. You may never forget, but in time, it will become a distant memory if you can work past what has happened and not have to fear it happening again. Sadly, there's no sure way to make sure he never does it again. Try communicating with each other more. find out what he's missing at home that he needs to go out and get somewhere else and try to provide it for him so he doesn't want to go else where. This also goes back to the trust. Once you rebuild that trust, if it's really genuine, you won't have to worry about it happening again. My husband and i have only been married for 7 years, but we've been through alot in that short time and now we are finally back on track and the hurt and pain of the past are gone. i'm happier than i've ever been now. I hope i helped and wish you all the best in your marriage.

Answer 3

its really hard to trust again once its broken.. but if you really want your marriage to work, believe in him that he wanted to change. Help him in this process by not overly mentioning his infedility (if you consider it) .. guys can easily change lanes at the sight of any woman flirting (adds up to their ego, i suppose).. thou' am not saying you tolerate his acts. it means do not make mountain out of mole'hills afterall he has flirted alright but he hasn't kept other woman..and do not wait it to happen. this is why you come in to help in the process. Be there as a wife. Sure 'twasn't right to see him in the picture w/ 8 other gurls but you've done an investigation & the worst he did was pretending to be single... He promised to change so look forward to it. Do not dwell too much of the mistakes,enough that you discussed & arrived into a mutual decision. The last thing you do is nag & push him to be with any of those girls, it will justify the act that he was right to flirt afterall, you were'nt good either. Doing your fair share as a wife will end him feeling remorsed & guilty of the act, to say the least- it will make him think twice.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for you, I believe your husband is a manipulator and low life. How dare he use God and prayers in this to his advantage, obviously you are a spiritual person. You have to leave this guy - I hope you can find strength to believe that you are worth far more than to be cheated, lied, and manipulated. Cheaters never loose their spots - and goodness me - 8 diff girls - what a player - he isnt worth your suffering because that is all he will give. I left my cheating husband and cant believe how happy I am -even without a partner I believe my life is now blessed. Gods speed to you.

Answer 5

You seemed a little confused about mixing God with your husband's activities. God has nothing to do with your husband's thinking and actions. It is your husband's own doing. Please do not mix that up. Never blame God for anything and if you need to blame, blame your husband. Anyways, back to your question proper, I think both of you need to pray alot and seek advice from your pastor or priest about it. Give it some time. God will work his miracles and trust in the Lord always.

Answer 6

its hard to trust him again blame your husband not god.