what to do.?

Question

i am married since last 8 years, having two kids.but in the last two years our relation has become like a hell. i fell in love with a girl. she loves me too knowing everything about me. my wife is not redy to accept this relation. twice she played havoc in my relation with this girl. initially i told her that i want a divorce. but later due to my love for the kids i told her that i will marry this girl but will take care of you in every manner. she said i will make your life so difficult that you will never be happy. sometimes she says give me some time to adjust myself then i will go. sometimes she behaves very violently. sometimes she accept my relation with this girl. this girl also says whatever happen i will marry you only. now my wife went in to depression since last three days. though its a low frequency depression i started her treatment with the best doctor in this field. doc says nothing to worry,she will be fine in a week then both o f you should meet a psychologist.wat 2 do

Answer 1

You must know that u r responsible for her depression.It is not easy to accept that the person u have loved and lived with for so many years has cheated on you.U should not,by any means, have cheated on your wife.and yes..this is cheating because what u r doing is extramarital affair.However,her fault is that she is not ready to let it go..but she should..because she'll never be happy with u and neither would u be.Talk to her about it.And yes,follow the doctor's advice.see the psychologist.it might do her some good.
Before i end my answer..i want u know that honesty and loyality are the basic keys of a relationship.And the morals of the girl u r having an affair with should be judged.She should've thought about your family's happiness before and after getting involved with u.A person can not be happy making somone else unhappy..im sorry but that's fact.good luck

Answer 2

well people are being very hard on you, everyone has a right to a second chance to find whats right for them and happiness, but you are wrong to not sort everything out with your wife before pursuing a new relationship. I think your wife is not ready to let you go, but if your love is strong with your girl-friend you and her will ride this difficult time. But remember you have two children that you have to be responsible for and if you and your wife do not deal with the issues you have now, they are the only parties that will be affected long term.
You clearly have made your mind up that you wish to start a new life with your girl friend and these are unfortunately the consequences that come with a decision like that. It is a shame that you and your wife cannot sit down and work things out for the best of the children. As for her depression, well you can only help so much for the sake of the children and your wife will have to accept that the marriage is over with or without your help and move on for the sake of the children and herself, otherwise there will be two very confused children and she needs to control her violent behavior to ensure the children are safe. Good Luck!

Answer 3

It's something how you JUST sound like your wife all of a sudden is just in the way! Too bad this isn't reversed! When you and your wife married, If I am not mistaken-your wedding vows were serious and for a life time -right? But now that YOU have met someone new, you would like for your wife just to move to the side and let your life go on peacefully. What are you thinking? Where the heck is your human compassion? Plus the female your with now, better watch her P's and Q's cuz if you were out looking with the first wife, what makes her think you won't be out in a few years looking when your tired of her? Go ahead and tell her it will be different, but I truly don't think so! I have to laugh when you wrote LOW frequency depression! I am in the business, and I have never heard of that! Yes, I suggest you pay for her therapy bills, so in the future you can live with yourself!

Answer 4

This honey is exactly why I state over and over that married couples (or any committed couple) should NEVER venture into another relationship before clearly ending or solving the first one. I find it cowardly that someone would even cheat. It's not cause your homones took over, it's you have no idea how to love anyone. Love is NOT hurting in the first place. I strongly believe that if you just had ended the relationship it would have been easier for your wife to accept than to be forced to see you, or hear you talk, about the other girl. Now you've gone and involved 3 people in your LOW SELF ESTEEM issues. Cause that is clearly what it is. It's not that relationships end that hurt, it's the cowardly way we, as humans, THINK we NEED to find a replacement first, before we leave. And as far as your kids, you have just shown them the WRONG way to end things. So, now I guess you have involved 5 people. It's a shame, that we, as parents, don't teach healthy things to our kids by our own actions. Instead we "enforce" the disfunctional habits we clearly learned somewhere and pass it on to our "kids". I clearly know that I am only gonna do things the right way. And mistakes, are acceptable in relationships. So, when I break up with my mate, I take time to learn from it, BEFORE I move on to another mate. And I have 3 healthy adult kids because of it.

Answer 5

First of all you are ridding two boats at a same time. Second is that you should never start second relationship without finishing the first.
You are making difficult situation for all of you involve silly girl friend of your , your wife, your self and your kids.
If kids are your weakness then get divorce and look after kids in share custody.
If you live and continue to have relationship with other girl then there will be fight and most affected people will be your kids whom you are making excuse to remain in marriage.
Yes se is depressed its call situational blue/depression.
First go home look at your kids and your wife and think what are you doing and what is in your life in most important and go from that. Good luck!!! spartan

Answer 6

You my friend sound like a BIG FAT JERK! You should have done every last possible thing on God's green earth to make YOUR Marriage with YOUR wife work! You have CHILDREN! If you fell out of love with her thats just TO DAMN BAD! You better dump the girlfriend.. apologize the rest of your life to your wife to take you back and take care of your family!!!!!! I WOULD BEAT THE SH*T OUT OF YOU TOO!

Answer 7

Doesn't your wife have parents, brothers or sisters? she is v. insecure.Obviously, she feels cheated and let down.Fine, you have found another woman, but where does she go? If the situation was the other way round, how would you have felt?
I hope the psychiatrist can help.
meanwhile, maybe some religious preacher can help find solace for her in religion.

Answer 8

U know what u mens r a big jerk.Can u tell me what is d fault of ur wife ??? that u fall n love wid some other girl??? u say u cant divorce 4 ur kids coz u love them but wat about d love 4 ur wife?? u loved her tats y d kids r there now right??? or it was just a sex??? U dont love ur wife who took all these trouble to give u kids?? n u say tat u love tat girl? rubbish u can never love any1.coz its just an attraction.which soon after will go n then u will realise tat wat u lost.Do u think tat ur kids will love u when they will grow n come to know all these shits??? Forget it man.U know y she is sick?? coz of u ! she loves uuuuuuuuuuuuuu try to understand her.I couldnt stop my husband but plzzzzzzzzzzz u dont do this to her plzzz save her from d pain m going through.really death is better than this life.hope u will listen to me 4 gods sake.

Answer 9

Apparently ,your wife is not ready to let go of you,even though your marriage is not working anymore. Both of you need a professional married councilor to resolve your issues. Good Luck.

Answer 10

YOUR A JERK!!!!!
Your wife gives you two kids and your going to dump her for this HOE?
Who the hell do you think you are?
I HOPE YOUR WIFE TAKES YOU FOR EVERY PENNY YOU HAVE AND THEN SOME!
I hope she makes your life so misaribale that your think about offing yourself because the pain is to hard to bare!
JERK!