how come people feel ...?

Question

how come people feel better about themselves when they see others down?

Answer 1

Here are two possibilities (there are many in between them):

1) Schadenfreude (German) [SHA-den-FROY-duh]: To take pleasure in the suffering of others. Just not in a sadistic way.

The suffering of others helps us to put perspective to our own pain. It helps us to realise that we aren't hurting that much. It helps us to be more grateful of the good things in our lives.

It seems selfish but isn't. It's not that we don't feel bad about that person's situation. We can sympathise with them while still feeling better about ourselves. In this the person who suffers can help us as much as we can help them.

2) Insecurity.

When we suffer we resent those who do not. When they do (at our hands or otherwise) suffer we feel vindicated. It's the sense that "if I'm unhappy why shouldn't everyone else be?"

This is selfish. We allow ourselves to become so overwhelmed by our own suffering that we begrudge any one else any happiness. This is more sadistic. We take pleasure in their pain because we want them to hurt. It doesn't, actually, help us to feel better about ourselves on any level.

Answer 2

I think you are referring to a particular group of people who seem to enjoy seeing others suffer. I am not one of those people. I come here to try to offer help to others, and I don't like to see other people down or having problems. I get no joy from anothers pain. I think people who do must feel badly about themselves. You know the saying "misery loves company"? That pretty much explains it.

Answer 3

Perhaps it just makes them feel that the world isnt so bad after all. I mean we only realise how important things are once we have lost them. When people realise that walking, though mundane and simple, is beyond the reach of a disabled person, we start to appreciate the fact that we can still walk. Similarly, when we see someone so down and out, we cant help but wonder if our situation is that bad after all.

It makes us feel better to know that there are worse things that could have happened.

Answer 4

That feeling belong to the desperately insecure, self-centered, selfish and egotist. They used to compare themselves with others and the moment they feel someone is better off, they they feel bad or short-changed.

However, this perception is not applicable to some good people who are compassionate by heart. They are those who don't compare themselves with others but instead they emphatize with the less fortunate, ready to help in their own quiet way.

Answer 5

People feel better about themselves because when we see another person down it's almost a comparison in our mind of ourselves with the other person. When we see someone who is depressed we look at them and think to ourselves, "I'm better than them" and just that seems to put us in a better mood.

Answer 6

We all are in a system which requires us to fight and compete for survival. It forces a competition between two beings and lets only the better one survive. While animals express such emotions in a visibly violent way, we humans have developed some 'soft' ways to express them. We thus become envoius and jealous when others 'perform better' than us. Now what we can do help ourselves is to set our own goals and try to keep unnessary competition out of way. And yes, cheerup man, it is way THEY are and, it is the way WE are.

Answer 7

Because were brought up to want to see ourselves as better than others. We have a natural desire to feel special and this need is corrupted and used by religious leaders and/or those in power to manipulate us into serving them and/or keeping them in power at the expense of whats right for us and of whats right in general.

Answer 8

As of now Neon Trees is the only one who even attempted to draw a picture of her mother. so maybe she should get BA. On the other hand, the first answer from Danakap was very insightful and provoking , so maybe she should get BA. The genius behind Danahap's answer is that it is left entirely to the imagination of the one reading it to divine what she really meant. I see that a lot here on YA. I have so much admiration for those so deep that they become a virtual black hole, I mean that in the celestial way ............. huh?

Answer 9

Nobody normal will feel good about the downfall of others unless they are the one who caused it..

Selfishness is the the correct word for that..

But the conscience question is: do they really felt satisfaction or just a defense mechanism?

Answer 10

They feel that their life isn't so bad after all, especially if the person feeling down shares their feelings. It gives you hope that you are ok in spite of doubting and questioning happiness.