How do I get my wife to cook for me?

Question

She once said "If you get a job where I can stay home, then you will have cooked food, clean clothes, and a clean house."
Soo I gotta job. O.k. I'm not a d*ck, I wouldn't hold her to that, but I spend ALOT of $ on takeout, like ALOT! I've talked to her about it, and she always says "I know..." and kinda puts her head down so I know she gets it. I'm only shootin for 1 outta 3 here. she'll clean once in a while, she'll wash clothes when we need some. I dunno what to do.

she's a stay home mom.

i do clean stuff and do some of the laundry thats why I just want her to cook.

I'll eat almost anything, burnt or not, I'm not picky.

Jack, That is the most STUPID Idea I've heard yet!!!.........dumbass.

Jack, That is the most STUPID Idea I've heard yet!!!.........dumbass. Your assshould get kicked for just saying that!!!

Answer 1

this comes from my own personal experience. i was a stay at home mom for the first 13 years of our marriage, and i was the same way. I was lazy and would put off doing things until right before my husband got home. i would forget to lay out something for supper, or forget to wash his work clothes just to name a couple. i would allow myself to play computer games or watch tv or sleep. my problem was that i had no self worth and over time began to feel isolated and alone. all i had were the kids but no grown up interaction until my husband came home. i could see the dissappointment in his eyes at my lazy ways. i needed something for me, could this be her problem? if so, encourage her to take a night class or a community service project, as long as it is only 1 night a week. if this is not her problem, then stop being an enabler. when you come home and there is no supper, just say that we are going to make do w/whats at the house. she will get tired of this and may become interested in meal planning. help her plan meals, give her ideas and by all means, go grocery shopping with her. also, treat her by cooking one meal a week. a wonderful place to get recipes is recipezaar.com. i know there is hope, because i have lived it and overcame it. good luck.

Answer 2

Maybe she feels you're too critical of her cooking. Maybe she doesn't know how to cook well enough for your tastes, and you've told her that. Maybe she's depressed. Maybe she's not cut out to be a stay at home mom--it is a TOUGH job, harder than any other job I've ever worked at, including dressing up as a character at the amusement park as a teenager.

Talk with her, calmly and without trying to place blame. Ask her what YOU can do to help her. Make sure she understands she has a job to do as well, and if she doesn't do her job well, you won't be able to perform yours well. A marriage is a partnership, so you don't want to attack your partner here, or do anything that would put her on the defensive. Work with her to come up with a solution to this problem that you both can live with. If need be, seek a counselor's help with this. Sometimes having that impartial 3rd party really helps in seeing the other person's viewpoint much more clearly.

Answer 3

The woman sounds clinically depressed. Getting pi55y and demanding will only make it worse. She needs patience and understanding and lots of support.

It isn't unusual for a stay-at-home mother to feel she's trapped in a dead-end, soul-destroying existence. Small kids demand a LOT of time and care, and simply are incapable of providing the kind of emotional support a mother needs. That's why family and friends are so very important. They can help ease the burden for her.

Counseling with a mental health professional would be a good idea. You can help by making it possible for her to do so without having to worry about the kids for that once or twice weekly visit to the therapist.

It is no disgrace to suffer depression and it is not something a person can just "snap out of". It can be serious enough to be life-ending. Yes, it's hard on you, too. That's why it's essential at some point for you to speak to her mental health therapist and learn how you can best help. The good news is, with honest effort on both your parts and the help of that therapist, it is a problem that can be successfully managed.

Hey - she and the kids are worth it, aren't they?

Answer 4

You might want to deploy the Ike Turner method of thinking. If she's lying around the house all day you may need to beat her you know what to get the point across. Some women just don't get it and need a little motivation. What bettert motivation than a swift kick in the rear end. It works for me, so give it a try. If it doesn't work first time don't give up. Most women like to be stubburn when a man asserts himself. So just stay the course and you will have you home cooked meals sooner than you think.

Answer 5

Try a date night at home! The two of you can stay in google a recipe and make it together. Then you get what you want and she won't feel like its a job. It's a start and maybe she will want to cook more stuff if you make it a couple thing. Try Italian it will be easy and you can have more fun with a recipe that is not so difficult.

Answer 6

Make some definite plans for what you will do with the savings. If she knows that the extra money will go toward a down payment on a house or a trip she's been dreaming about, it'll be a positive thing for her. Also, she's probably insecure and unsure of herself in the kitchen so don't criticize or make jokes and praise her efforts any time she does cook.

Answer 7

You should have a conversation with her about what's preventing her from having you a hot meal if not everyday, at least most of them. After all, she gets to be at home now, and there's no reason for her not too. If you would go get you a hot meal at a cafeteria and feed the kids, if there are any, without getting her food, she may get the picture. It sounds rude and inconsiderate, but this is how she's treating you, right? Let her know how you feel and how it can effect your relationship.

Answer 8

Maybe it's not a good enough of a job to support the both of you. Try cleaning up the kitchen and cooking a dinner, set the example for her to follow.

Answer 9

1. If you the one who has the money, make the money, and the one who pays the food then what you can do is put a STOP to it. Set the spending limit for take-out foods.

2. You should take her to the groceries store instead take-out place.

3. "I know.." means "sorry I do it today and i will do it again tomorrow"

4. Maybe she is allergic to kitchen and kitchen utensils.

5. I must say I am proud of you but I am sorry to see you let your "i know.." wife slaps your man-pride.

6. I think every wife has to know how to cook.

Answer 10

tell her if she isn't going to work she needs to do her share and by cooking at home it does lower expense and that doesn't work take away the money start grocery shopping and leave her no choice but to cook or go hungry im sorry but thats a disgrace to us at home mothers and i personally eat out alot but not so much my husband complains plus i clean and do laundry every day although im not a neat freak my house is never spotless i have kids but it is clean