A close friend of mine was accused by a girl he broke up with of rape. I know he didn't as I was there that night and they just had sex. He is a great guy and is always there for other people. He now has a great girlfriend, his job, family and all of us there for him. He is being investigated in her allegation and there is a chance( a small one) that he could go to jail for something he didn't do. In this state it's life in prison. He has admitted he would rather die than lose his family, girlfriend, friends and career for something he didn't do. I want to say something about it, but I don't exactly disagree with his reasoning as I would probably feel the same way as well faced with that. Any thoughts?
2007-03-19 18:34:07 · 12 answers · asked by blu m 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
obviously i am going to testify for him
2007-03-19 18:41:41 · update #1
You know, a similar thing happened to one of my friends. He was seventeen and had just broken up with someone who treated him badly. He met some girl on a bus, they started talking and she went with him to his house, to 'hang out'. One of his other friends called just after he got back and said he and his girlfriend wanted to come over and have some drinks with him and this girl... and so, they did.....
After having some to drink, my friend and this girl started getting their groove on, so to speak, and she, out of the middle of nowhere, says "I'm fourteen." My friend stopped everything immediately, phoned me, and had me take this girl back to her house, which I really didn't want to do, but did anyway. I learned of all this after I'd taken her home.
Well, about two weeks later, the cops show up at his front door, with a warrant for his arrest, on a rape charge. They took him to the station to get finger-printed, then brought him back home, 'cause the jail was already over-full and there was nowhere to put him.
Court dates pass... my friend's spirits were pretty low. Then, something strange happened...
A junior high school girl walked up to me in the middle of a grocery store and asked me about my friend; evidently, she'd seen us hanging out together before. She told me that the girl that was accusing my friend of rape was bragging at school about the whole thing, and that she and a bunch of her friend heard this girl say she made the whole thing up. They went straight to the school cop, who picked up the offending girl from the lunchroom, called her parents to come down to the school, where this girl's parents grilled her severely, trying to get the story straight. With the six or seven girls that heard her say she was making the whole thing up-- and with their willingness to testify on my friend's behalf on what they had heard, the girl finally admitted she was lying about the whole thing.
The point is, normally when someone's ex-anything accuses them of something, it's usually out of spite and they're just trying to cause trouble. It sounds to me like she just wants to stir a hornet's nest and cause a lot of trouble. I'm pretty sure if you testify for him about the real goings-on of that night, the judge will probably dismiss the case and this whole thing will blow up in that stupid girl's face.
2007-03-19 19:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by bloodline_down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you genuwinely believe he is innocent, i.e., you spoke with the girl right after they had sex and she specifically spoke about the situation in a way that didn't imply it was rape, then you should testify in his defense. But try to remember if she was quiet afterwards, or even if she said nothing at all. She could have been in shock... this means she could have been laughing and joking and everything like that. Unless you were in the room while they had sex, you won't know for sure. But you really should offer your help. And I don't know if you guys are religious (I am a little but not much), but I've always thought that suicide is a sin that you can't be forgiven for... so unless you want your friend to hurt his family and go to hell, I wouldn't suggest you encourage him.
2007-03-20 01:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sort of tricky situation, but your friend has to remain calm and collected throughout all this. If the police ask to talk to him, he can tell them it was consensual sex and you can also tell the police you were there and it was consensual sex. Other than that, stay supportive for your friend, he needs you now more than you know. If he does get charged with rape, he'd best get a good attorney. It's sort of amazing, you are guilty until your expensive lawyer proves you innocent. Is that what we've become?
2007-03-20 01:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha! it's not as easy as telling the truth these days. its all about how her lawyer can twist **** around.even if you were there they will try to argue that you weren't in the room with them, so how could you really know. Just be careful lawyers are slimy. But to actually answer your question, I do agree. How horrible it would be to do even a part of that sentence if you were innocent. that part of a life could never be gotten back. if they find this girl is lying she should go to jail because there are a lot of bitches out there who do this type of thing
2007-03-20 01:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by Arraya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately these situations happen frequently, and can get out of hand quickly. First I would tell him not to have contact and avoid any arguments, etc. with the ex. Her accusations will only become a problem if he is charged. In the event he is charged, then he needs a good lawyer.
2007-03-20 01:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by Campo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. You need to keep a close watch on him since, in all probability, he wasnt speaking lightly. If I was in his shoes then I would not only feel the same way but would already be planning my exit. Good luck to him.
2007-03-20 02:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But you said you were there that night, and that they just had sex... if you were there, than you can testify on his behalf right? If he did nothing wrong, you should stand up for your friend. You did say you were there..
2007-03-20 01:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by ktterdfurguson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be very hard for the girl to prove, especially if you were there and you know what happened. Someone needs to talk to this girl and find out why she doing this.
2007-03-20 01:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by Rizza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a thought. Go tell the police they had consensual sex. That is the best thing you could do for your friend.
2007-03-20 01:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by Andrew G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him. You were there and you are a witness (although you probably didn't actually see anything) But, if he has a good lawyer, then everything should work out for the best.
2007-03-20 01:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by nicoleblingy2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋