My ex left me for someone else, a girl who had his child who was a one night stand before we met. He told me a year later and then left me to be with this girl. They are not together anymore.He hurt me very badly and I said some horrible things to him, because he lied to me about many things. I told him I never wanted to have anything to do with him and that he lied to me and I wish I never met him. He got very defensive with me and told me he never wanted to speak to me again. I have not spoken to him in over a month. Even though he was very wrong about many things. The way I behaved bothered me very much. So last night I called him and got his voice mail. I apologize for the things I said. And that I should have backed away when I found out about this child. And that was it. I have not heard from him. How would you feel if you got this phone call?. Would you even care?There was mich confusion, I can understand he faced alot. But he also disregarded me. I helped him thru so much.
2007-03-19 18:00:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His child is so much more important then me. But he acted like I never existed. He was at fault, and I still apologized to him. I can only be accountable for my own actions...not his.
2007-03-19 18:01:46 · update #1
I wouldn't devalue yourself because he helped make a baby dishonestly. It's right for you to be upset and when you get betrayed you are also right to feel as you did and vent as you did. It's good you feel bad about what you said, because it reveals your love for him, and I'm sure he will hear what you have to say and be thankful for your call. He is sure to understand your need to vent. It might be difficult to be on the receiving end of guilt, but he chose that. Your ability to resolve all those feelings will help you to move forward with your life, and hopefully it'll help your ex to do the same. :) Kudos to you...
2007-03-19 18:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by stormc2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thing is that if he has morals, then he would feel his responsibility is to his child. The problem is that if he didn't really have feelings for the mother, then the relationship won't work. You were too hasty and understandably so seeing that you were hurt. I think if you still have feelings for him, just give him some time and see what happens. If he had any feelings for you, he will forgive you too. Maybe there is still hope for both of you ( I think from the way you present your case that you still care for him and would be willing to make up back with him).
2007-03-20 01:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by osito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the more important things we risk when we get into relationships is Our own feelings and emotional health. A relationship can be stressful even when they go well .
When there is dishonesty involved (lieing) chances are that trust has been destroyed. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship short of love. you need both for it to work .
As a dad myself I can understand how his daughter is the most important thing in his life now .
Personally I think you should cut your losses and run . Learn from the experience and remember the times
2007-03-20 01:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Peace of Mind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i received that phone call, i would touched and relieved. But at the same time, i should be ashamed of the pain & agony i've put the poor girl through. Yes, it's my responsibility & own up to my mistake...but it not at the cost of hurting another's heart. It's only fair that you got angry as your love was betrayed..but you should give credit to the guy for being responsible at least. Move on....just take this as another chapter in your love life. Love hurts...but sweet when handled with care.
2007-03-20 01:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by iszee01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If, as you say, you should have backed away after finding out about the child, then what does it matter what his reaction to your message is? What is it you're trying to get from any further contact with this guy? You still seem to be smarting from the way he treated you. Apparently his reaction is no reaction. Let it go and put all behind you and look to the future.
2007-03-20 01:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not anything will come of the apology is unclear, quite possibly he will not get back together with you anyway. BUt at the very least be proud- whether or not he ever says anything to you, he will still appreciate the effort you put into it as you showed compassion for him in his now-jumbled life.
2007-03-20 01:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Brad C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you said the key word, you both say thing to hurt each other,,,honest yes i would care, well maybe not at that sec, ,, but as the hurt left,i be thinking more about it,,,, yes he was wrong for messing a round,,,,,an the child should be first,,,but give it time,, for the words we say to day, , take a long time to heal,,,,
2007-03-20 07:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're correct, you can only be responsible for your own actions. So honor yourself by your choices. Do you honor yourself by going after him? Has he honored you by how he has treated you and dealt with you? If not, why would you want to be with him now? Learn to honor and respect yourself and you will only choose as friends those who will honor and respect you. If you can't respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to respect you?
2007-03-20 01:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you want is him. Don't! he lied and maybe cheated, if he left you for her, then he would leave you for the next one to come along. be glad you got out, and move on.
2007-03-20 01:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think that he probably doesnt care much about what you think now. I hope that everthing turns out okay for you.
2007-03-20 01:05:52 · answer #10 · answered by freestreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋