Isn't it amazing that when you love someone you only see what you want to see. Even though deep down you know how they really are. My boyfriend of 14 years ( we have 2 kids) broke up with me 3 months ago. Because he's not in to me anymore, and I have gained about 20 pounds. I used to be too skinny. But now that he is gone I am seeing him for the shallow and vain person he has been all a long. How he looks in mirrors all the time. How he can't stand to get his portrait done because he does not want to see himself as aging. Our kids make him nervous and so do our animals. He says it's to much commotion. He moved in with his mother who says " He's not capable of having a family, he gets to nervous " He is the kind of person that makes decisions that effect others and he does not care who it hurts. He says he can't be responsible for my emotions. He said he's not losing any sleep over it. He already has another girlfriend. Isn't it scary how love and what you want can blind you to truth?
2007-03-19 17:42:02 · 11 answers · asked by Teslajuliet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 41 years old.
2007-03-19 17:44:43 · update #1
41 and moving back in with his MOM, who makes excuses for him... pathetic. No wonder he's a selfish immature shallow loser!
You and your children will sooooo much better off without him around. I was married to a black hole, life force sucking entity like that myself. Trust me there is nothing positive someone like that can bring to a relationship because they can never get past themselves "it's all about them".
Now's the time to do some work on yourself to figure out why you paired up with him in the 1st place so that will never happen again. After you figure yourself out & mend the parts that need fixing then you need to learn about healthy relationships so your next one will be a good experience for you & your kids.
I worked on myself (basically self esteem) and now am in a releationship with a very devoted, loving & caring man.
2007-03-19 19:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by adventuregirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a man will make up all kinds of excuses to move on, usually blaming it all on u. most of the reason is the new girlfriend and i would listen to his mom she knows him best. he also has no conscience, and will move on whenever things don't go his way. u are better off knowing the real him, too bad 14 years went by and u couldn't see it. he doesn't see him as being responsible for anything, just a way of avoiding self blame.
2007-03-20 09:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems you have as much to blame. A boyfriend of 14 years means you never wanted anything better. You made 2 kids with him and you never thought about the welfare of your kids. So you are just about as irresponsible as an adult as he is, and about as shallow, too. You won't find any company here to bash the guy.
2007-03-20 00:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very sorry that this happened to you. It's hard to explain why some people can be this way. Mine left me after I helped her do a diet and lose weight she had been wanting to for a couple years. Some people are just caulus and can move on easily
2007-03-20 00:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by hlind28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was 37 when he moved out he wanted to move in with his parents but they told him he needed to be home with his family so he got his own place or should i say his play ground king size bed and all. Your right you don't no who you live with.It is so funny when i hear all these women say My husband loves me I no he would never hurt or cheat or leave me. They don't realize that they don't no their husbands at all.Sure they no the man that comes home at night and they have sex with but that is it .When a man walks out the front door they become someone other then their husbands.
2007-03-20 01:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya, there's a saying that if you really want to know what people are about, just switch off the volume and watch them. He clearly isn't emotionally stable and is not worth your time or thoughts.
2007-03-20 00:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by Sofia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are so right, that the problem people see what they want to see. not what right there, it common when you in love you
see what you want to see and here. and it when it ove
is when you see that he./she was jerks. but you know you
are better off he sound like someone tht has some serious
issues so good ridden to someone that should have been
out of your life. just take care of your children. and move
on. life iwll gett better now that he gone. trust me. the
sun will shine again for you. good luck.
2007-03-20 00:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats just as scary is what attracted you to him is what turns you off now...such persons ego can become overwhelming and then they don't have enough room for it and those who enabled him...sad...you & the kids will be better off without him.
2007-03-20 00:51:46 · answer #8 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i agree! i used to be very much in love with my soon to be X but now i see threw is lies and see him for what he really is! a selfish, shallow, vain, irresponsible child. Now i hate him just as much as i loved him.
2007-03-20 00:48:31 · answer #9 · answered by I♥Karma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he need to wake up and look deeply in his life. being that he already have a girlfriend then you should move on, he don't deserve you besides having gained weight shouldn't have had a negative impact on your relationship if he was in love with you. hey you deserve better sista! :-)
2007-03-20 00:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by nicky4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋