Ladies, do you look up to your man as the ruler of the household?

Question

If so, do you enjoy respecting your man in this fashion? Personally, as a guy I have never really understood the whole equality theory between man and woman. If they both are equal and divide all the jobs up equally, then not one of them is really special or unique. However, when you have distinct male and female roles and a well defined authority structure both man and woman are special and unique and have their own separate functions. It makes the relationship so much better.

Answer 1

Not !

Answer 2

I personally believe in equality. Making a person a "ruler" of a household means the other people of the house need to be "lead".

Being special or unique isnt defined by how you "rule" a household but what you can give as a person to your family relationships. Labelling and segregating family members and responsibilities can sometimes cause tension.

Being a loving and caring partner, being yourself, and sharing of responsibilities regardless of who the family member is, is much more important. When a man and woman become partners or marry it is about teamwork. In order to have that you need equality. Ive been with my partner for 6 years and we have this philosophy. We love each other and appreciate each other more for it. We help each other with everything regardless of what it is.

Not everyone is like this and everyone has their own system on how they think a relationship should work. As long as it doesnt hurt, embarrass or demean a partner then that is all that matters.

Answer 3

No, he is definitely not the ruler of the household... we make joint decisions, except when one is the expert in that decision. It's important for both people in the couple to have input. After all, two heads are better than one. And, you don't want one party in the relationship to be unhappy or unfulfilled. That doesn't mean that we don't each have a role: We are both have our strengths and compliment each other very well. For example, I've been educated in personal finance and so I give most of the input into the financial decisions. But, since he also contributes to the decisions, he can provide a different perspective. The decision is often better because of it. Together we are better. That's why I love him.

Answer 4

Sharing all the good and bad chores frees a couple up for simultaneous fun, which should be the goal.

Why do you feel it necessary for one person in the couple to stand out and be more special or unique?

We're ALL special and unique, equally and differently.

If you separate the roles, you're setting yourselves up for difficulty when one or the other person falls ill, IT WILL HAPPEN, and the partner is clueless, helpless and frustrated.

Oh and the sick partner will feel pressured to get well faster than is medically advisable and angry that they are made to feel that way by a helpless and self absorbed mate.

Answer 5

Single, are ya? Physically, I looked up to my ex... but then he WAS 6'4''.

In this house, I kowtow to no one but the cat.

Now... that being said, I think it important to tell you that I come from a culture that has very distinct traditional roles for both men and women. This is not a subjugation of one gender, but a way of making meaning, and recognizing the interconnectedness and importance of both. I kind of see your point, but the initial premise is faulty. Man is not less than or more than woman, NOR is woman less important or more important than man.

I think it boils down to what you and your partner can live with.

Answer 6

Well, since I have to work to help financially support our household, my husband and I share the rest. We are both experts at different things which I believe is the art of negotiating for a good marriage.

Answer 7

Can't say that I do, since the only men in my household are 12, 9 and 6 years old and they still do as I say not the other way around. Sorry! :-)

Answer 8

All I can say is Heck No! My hubby is a dear but I certainly don't consider him to be the ruler of the house and in fact the kids usually clear things with me before acting on anything. My middle child is a good boy but on occassions he doesnt want to do something and my husband usually threatens him with the old 'I'll tell your mother if you don't do it!' which usually has him hopping to.
So I am Queen and supreme ruler of my domain and intend to keep it that way!

Answer 9

We do have different roles, but not one of them is being each others ruler. We are our own person and make our own personal decisions and make family decisions together. We also have the most respect for one another.

Answer 10

You are on the same path kiddo. Your technique needs a little refinement however.

I have been a feminist from the beginning. Wave 1 to the max. I have done them all pretty well. Now I embrace a new kind of feminism. Feminism of gender equality but different rolls and viva la difference.

Let me say this about this topic... I do have a few words to add in here.

Feminism is a grotesque fraud perpetrated on society by its governing elite designed to weaken the American social and cultural fabric in order to introduce a friendly fascist New World Order. We of the first wave were victimized by liars and moral cripples who work for the elite in various capacities: government, education and the media.

We were taught to abandon our femininity and challenge men for the masculine role. We were told heterosexuality and family by nature is oppressive to women. Despite growing up in functional homes, we became warped. Domestic violence was publicized to trample woman's tender tendrils of trust. As a result, the divorce rate doubled and the birth rate was cut in half. One third of all births are now out-of-wedlock. The ability to commit to a relationship is almost unheard of among the young. Today they “hook up” and move on. Men are no more than dogs urinating on women as if they were hydrants. But no one is at fault here, we are ALL VICTIMS

Meanwhile boys are getting lessons in the ultimate sexism we find so offensive, what I call Playboyism. While we were being robbed of our roles as wives and mothers, boys were being dumbed down and taught the responsibility of marriage was something to be avoided at all costs. This movement rips them off of the chance to be men, head of a family, their natural birthright. The polarization became seriously ingrained and suddenly men and women did not know quite what to do with each other any longer.

Sex is an act of possession. A woman cannot be possessed by many men and ever belong to one. The ability to love/trust dies. The sex act is sacred. Sex is an uplifting experience in this loving context. People today settle for so much less. Careless sharing of our flesh has almost killed this concept today.

Women need to lose the overwhelming urge to be "smarter, better, faster". They should never be untrue to the best of their abilities,ever. But in marriage, to some extent, a woman self effaces and lives through her husband and children. These days it is difficult for a woman to find a man she can respect and trust. Most males are boys lately. Or gay. Men want power; women want love. Heterosexual union involves the exchange of the two: female power (in the worldly sense) for male love (his power expressed as love.)

A woman loves a man by giving him the power to love her. Of course he will consult her. There is an implied message here for men. Men have to know what they want, provide leadership and earn trust. Two people don't become one by fighting over the same territory.

Generally speaking, the man "makes the house, the woman makes the home." This division of labor is natural and complementary. Wife/woman is homemaker and mother. The problem is living in a society that makes it almost impossible for one parent to stay home.

Once the power-for-love arrangement is established, sex roles don't have to be rigid. The key is that a wife is willing to be First Mate to her Captain because he loves her, looks after her interests and is totally loyal. After that, who does what can be dictated by respective preferences, abilities and practical considerations.

Answer 11

A man should not be so much a ruler as a head and a leader even as Christ heads the Church. As head of the church, Jesus puts up with a hell of a lot of stuff from the body. So should a man from his family.
I Cr 13;8a