My moms first boyfriend since the split?

Question

my mom has her first boyfriend since the split he seems nice a bit of a kiss up but a little genuine nice and I just don't like him I don't know why my mom will put her arm around him and I want to hit him in the back of the head with a bag of change, tackle him and keep hiting him until my hands hurt then kick him in the shins.Is that normal? I've asked my mom several times to not talk about him all the time and not to be so well you know when I'm around but she just goes into this hole thing about I'm gonna live my life how I want or something similar to that.

DO NOT give me that hole "think about your moms happiness" "don't be selfish" thing I hate it . Duh I thought about my moms feelings but it doesn't change how I feel and I really want to get over this
thanks if you can help

Answer 1

Would you want your mom picking your mate? You need to show her the respect for the decision she has made that you would want her to show for yours. It's not about you. It's about them. You sound like you have a LOT of growing up to do.

Answer 2

I think that all kids of divorced parents secretly have hope that their parents will get back together. It just doesn't seem natural that when you have lived with both parents your whole life, suddenly you're only living with one at a time. You could have two issues going on here -- 1. You're used to the way things have been since your parents split up. You've had your mom all to yourself, and now this other person is in her life, and you feel like you have to compete for your mom's attention now; and 2. Your mom's boyfriend is taking your dad's place. If mom hits it off with the new boyfriend, that ends any hope that your mom and dad will get back together.

If you really have a hard time watching your mom with her new boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with escaping to your room. Don't be rude, when the boyfriend comes over, say hi and be nice for a few minutes. But do try to give him a chance. If he's trying too hard to be your friend, ask your mom if she'll ask him to back off a bit. Don't be ashamed of how you feel, but do understand that this person is a part of your life, at least for now.

Answer 3

Perhaps you cant have any good feelings about him, even though you said he seems nice, simply because you didnt want your mother's last relationship (or marriage) to have ended. You may still be a bit angry towards your mom for that previous man no longer being around, but rather than show it towards your mom, you are directing it towards her boyfriend now. It is totally okay to feel this way. Just dont be so hard on yourself, and keep your distance from this boyfriend, without being rude, and maybe try to change the subject as quickly as possible when your mom starts talking about her new boyfriend. You also might try to ask your mom to be a bit more discreet about any pda's (public displays of affection) when you are in the same room.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

All depends on how old you are. If you are still a minor, you have to rely on your mom's resources and she calls the shots in the house. If you are already an adult, you are entitled to your own feelings.

Either way, you mom knows you don't like her new love. Maybe she is just thrilled someone liked her after all these years.

Whatever it is, it is all about manners whether you are a kid or adult. There is a polite way of not liking to be around somebody without coming across as a brat. it is about your own maturity, not your mom's or her friend's.

Answer 5

Sounds like you got a little "possessiveness" going on.

You've had mom all to yourself since the "split" and now maybe you are resenting having to share mom with this guy.

You said the guy seems nice enough, why not try to work off what you do like about him.

As far as your mom's behavior goes, try to understand that this guy is something she's been missing in her life.

Answer 6

Well the only thing I can say is that you have to give your mom boyfriend a chance. he could be a very nice guy. I hope that he would not have thing that is wrong with him that is going to make you right but keep and eye out but try and enjoy and let your mother be happy.

Answer 7

"I've asked my mom several times to not talk about him all the time and not to be so well you know when I'm around " Now you know how your mom feels when you're crushing on some pimple faced moron. The fact that you don't like her boyfriend is your problem not your mom's, you don't get to dictate to her how she is going to live her life. I suggest you learn to deal with it. Who knows, this guy could become your step dad...LMAO

Answer 8

You need to find out why you don't like him. The idea thing would be to be open about it to your mom and then to him. Have a talk put your thoughts and feelings in the open. Its possible you might find that he isn't all that bad but first all the acting and pretending needs to stop and find out exactly who he is and what he is like.

Answer 9

u r an individual person and so is your mom.u wont be living her life.Its her life..let her make her decisions.if she's happy with him..let it be.you wouldn't have wanted your daughter to stand in your way of happiness.this may sound rude to u..but i think u should just let her breathe.i understand how u must feel..but its perhaps better for now to keep it inside u.she's trying to make u feel comfortable with his existence.Just stay silent on those times.Be strong.good luck

Answer 10

well then get over it if that is what you want to do. think about it, you are being the only one harmed by being mad. not your mom and certainly not him. the more you resent the more she will stay with him. i know. try and get along with him(nothing over the top) and she might start seeing things differently. what have you really got to loose? good luck.