I'm an international student in the US from Asia. And I've been here for almost 10 months. We migrated here because of my mom's work for being a teacher. I'm only 16 years old. And I'm presently studying in a community college. I know I can speak english and I can immitate the accent. But my problem is that although I can speak that good I'm having a hard time to mingle to them. Because I'm only 16 and some of my classmates are 18 and over. yeah, I tried, they are so nice that two of my classmae invited me to have lunch with them but when I accepted it they just ignore me while on the table and they just do all the talking without noticing me. I felt that I was being out of place that's why from then on I tend to separate my way. If you're in my case what will u do? should I continue talking and to mingle with them? And without pretending what do you think with an international student like me? do you discriminate them or what? I'm just curious so that I know where to place myself?
2007-03-19 17:12:04 · 5 answers · asked by ms.curious 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Keep talking and mingling. The thing is, there are all sorts of
people. I'm not talking cultures as much as personalities. So keep searching until you find those you feel really comfortable with, because they're out there.
As far as "discriminations," most of us love Asians (other International as well--after all, if you go back far enough every single one of us here comes from imigrants), and frankly a lot of the fear you have about discrimination is not based on anything true. But often we do see Asians as being "shy". If you don't want to be seen as "shy," you have to somewhat force yourself to go out of your way to get to know others. You need to get over your own insecurities about say maybe your language or whatever and do things not caring about what others might think of you--because that worry is often what stops us from getting out of ourselves and so from others getting to know us. So that is one option you could do. It is a lesson which many other Americans haven't learned--and they are always feeling left out because of it.
However, another, probably easier and possibly better method is to be nice to everyone, but look for those who are similar to you in personality and who you feel comfortable around and basically just stick to them as friends. Again, for this, you may need to go out of yourself a bit--talk to those who aren't in a huge group, or those you think you may want to get to know better. You invite them to dinner or lunch or whatever (some might turn you down--don't let it make you feel inferior or anything, just move on to others), and you consciously put yourself in charge of the conversation. By doing that, make sure you include everyone you invited in your conversation (or do it one-on-one)--ask sincere questions to get to know them, etc. Some people are super talkative, and some even so rude as to not be inclusive. These people might not be good ones to start with. When I've done this, I've personally enjoyed doing this much more with those who are more "shy." It seems we talked about deeper things and got to know (and like and respect) each other better. And it was much easier for me to maintain control of the conversation that way. The bonds of friendship went deeper. No, it was not with everyone--there was a level of friendliness with everyone, but many of the super "popular" ones I hardly knew. But many who were well-liked (not what I would consider popular, but liked for who they were) were well-known to me, as well as many who were little known to others. This is how I would go about making the friends.
Sorry, this was really long. I hope it is something along the lines of what you were looking for, though.
2007-03-19 18:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by Laurel W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up CJ - There are so many different types of people. Some will be selfish and prejudiced, but some will be nice and become great friends. It is hard for native born people to find good friends too. You may find that the most popular people can be the least friendly, so keep your eyes open for people who may be shy and not in the lime light. There are people around you who really would love to be your friend.. They just may not know it yet.
2007-03-20 00:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by Frak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you're going through - I immigrated here from Australia 15 years ago. You need to be more forthright, to start the conversation, or at least push your way in. I know it sounds kinda rude, but that's the American way. People will ignore you until you stop letting them. Just listen to them talking. If you feel that you want to add to the conversation, just go ahead and do so. Asking non-binary questions about them (that's questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no) will usually get the conversation going. After all, what American doesn't want to talk about them self?
2007-03-20 00:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They probably didnt know what to talk about, so they talked about themselves with others.
Ask people questions about classes, teachers, good places to eat around town. People like to talk about themselves here - ask them questions where they can state an opinion.
Keep up the work. it will pay off.
2007-03-20 00:18:08 · answer #4 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about all that nonsense. Just get your degree and become wealthy. Money is power in this country and any other, get all you can and you'll have a nice life.
2007-03-20 00:18:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋