has anyone else felt this way?

Question

when I was 24 weeks pregnant, I went into preterm labor, and they stopped it with magnesium sulfate, and gave me the steroid shots to benefit her lungs. they sent me home and 5 weeks later my water broke. I was put in the hospital on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I delivered 5 weeks later. and ever since I've been really sad, that I couldn't really experience all that pregnancy had to offer. I miss being pregnant, having the belly, going out in public to show it off, I miss the kicks, and the hiccups, and the doctor appointments. reading how my baby is developing, hearing the heartbeat, and seeing the ultrasound pictures. I miss it all. especially lately, because it's near my due date, and I have a 6 week old daughter. I love her more than anything, but I just feel like my pregnancy was cut too short. I am glad I have her, but today I should be worrying when she is going to come. and all I was ever able to worry about was how long they'd be able to hold off deliver

Answer 1

What is supposed to be a happy time was turned into a very stressful situation for you...so it is natural that you would feel a little dissapointed. Instead of thinking about what you missed out on, think about what you have to look forward to...first steps, first words, first smiles, the first time she tells you "I love you mommy"...you might not have the tummy anymore, but you have a beautiful baby girl to show off.

Answer 2

Be honest with your nurses and Dr's about the way you feel. It may even be some postpartum depression. You are no different than the rest of us. It has been a while for me, but I can remember feeling so empty. I was scared that I couldn't
protect him the way I could when he was "inside me." I missed feeling him move, hiccups and all. And yes, most women will not admit it, but I will for you. You ARE treated differently when you are in public with a belly. Heck people actually give up seats and open doors!! There is something sacred about a pregnant woman. You have to come to terms with it and realize that now you have a more important roll..
you are a MOM!!!!!!! Congrats!!!!!soon new memories will replace those!! But do talk to your health care providers, please.. They know a lot more about it now. Heck we didn't even talk about it back then, 18-20 yrs. ago!!
Get out that baby book though!!!! (it is really hard to try to fill in, years after the fact- UGH) :(
Enjoy every minute!!!! You are in time for Mothers Day! : )

Answer 3

No, I haven't.

BUT, It's ok to be sad about losing the whole experience. I could see myself reacting the same way. You've thought about being pregnant and what it would be like all your life. It finally came, and it was cut short so quickly.

Allow yourself to mourn, yes mourn the shortened pregnancy. Do so without feeling guilty about it. You may even set a day when you are going to stop mourning and move on and focus on your precious baby. The important thing is to not supress or feel guilty because of an emotion. Start there, and it's smooth sailing.

Best of luck to you. Congrats on a healthy baby girl!

Answer 4

Its normal! Youre not crazy and dont let anyone say you are either. Its post partum depression. I had numerous factors playing into mine but I still think of the fact I didnt deliver where I wanted and the fact I didnt get to hold my baby first (my show controlling mother grabbed him up and used the excuse that they needed to work on me when the nurse was about to lay him across my chest). Go to your OB/GYN or your family doctor, tell them whats going on and get yourself some treatment so you can enjoy your baby. If youre worried about yourself doing something before you can make an appointment call 311 and they can get you a councellor to talk to. Good Luck, and get treatment so you can enjoy your baby. I waited too long and was just too depressed to truly enjoy some really special milestones.

Answer 5

Wow, I totally understand what you're saying. I've never been in this specific situation myself but I wanted to say thanks for bringing this up, I'd never thought of what mothers that experience preterm labor and birth go through in quite this way. I think if it's at all possible you should consider seeing a therapist that you can talk with. Look for one that possibly specializes in post-partum depression.

After I had each of my kids (I have two) I did feel how you are feeling, to a lesser degree. I missed "being pregnant" some days. I really enjoyed being pregnant... I think that must be common to miss it somewhat. But your situation is a little different.... and I really feel for you.

Find someone to talk with about your feelings... take care...!

Answer 6

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Answer 7

since we can't change the past you can only put those feelings on the back burner for your next pregnancy. Just love and enjoy your new baby. If these feeling persist I would suggest that you talk to a doctor about it, it could be post-partim depression.

Answer 8

I actually felt that way with my last pregnancy. I was having twins and my doctor absolutely refused to let me deliver, she wanted me to have a c-section. I still feel gypped that I didn't get to experience labor like I did with my first child. They are two now and I am just glad they are healthy!

Answer 9

i think you should quit think about all of that and enjoy how shes going to be changing right in front of you. you will actually get to see everything shes doing. you will get to hear her first word. the first time she tries to walk. its amazing how fast they grow. before you know it she will be talking back to you and not listening to a word you say. and if you are worried about all the attention you got while you were pregnant you can take her out and show her off because im sure more people would rather look at her than they would a big belly.

Answer 10

this feeling might comes from ur love for ur little princess. u love her so much that u want to keep her in you until the fullterm comes. You should enjoy of having her in ur arms now. I bet she loves to be cuddled and safed in ur arms. As long she's healthy. Light it up she would loves to see her mom happy if u r not happy ur baby won't be also. You'll experience the whole in ur next pregnancy. :) soon her smile will ease ur pain away.... congratulation