I need to change... learn to live without caring about other's comment.?

Question

I am a very shy girl without ANY self- confidence. When a random stranger on the street look at me (just a glance), I would think, "he or she must have thought that I am too fat or too ugly." I always think the people around me hate me. I am afraid to speak out because of my accent (I came to US about 2 and a half years ago). I also went on a really unhealthy diet during the summer just because one of my old friend told me "ur chubby (she means in a good way)". I lost 30 pounds within a month (almost not eating anything), and got into hospital right after that. I think I care way too much about other people's opinion on me. What should I do??????? Please help me if you can. Maybe what I wrote makes little sense, but please help me. One reply from you would be a great help.

Answer 1

we assume that other people are thinking what we are thinking - as you show by your assumption of what other people on the street are thinking about you.
[I hate to burst your bubble ;) but people simply arent thinking about you that much - they are busy thinking about themselves, the same way you do....]
and then to make matters worse, someone actually makes a comment that confirms what we think and Whooooaaaa. We blow it way out of perprotion, and voila, it confirms all of the bad things that we think about ourselves.
That doesnt make much sense now, does it.
If someone said that the weather was nice, you wouldnt assume they were the weather man - - why are you assuming these people are experts in who you are - on your deepest level?
Start to be nicer to yourself.
we are so hard on ourselves.
Ask yuorself - would you ever say the same thing to your best freind? No? then dont let it say that to you. You have to be your best freind. Be compassionate.

Answer 2

Don't take things so seriously, easier said then done I know. You have to get yourself out there in social situations all the time! Be nice to people and smile a lot, people will like you if you are nice and talk to them. Eventually over time you will feel less like you do now if you put yourself out there enough. Most people don't like the way they look so just remember that next time it pops into your head. The thoughts running through you mind are the same ones as most other Americans(especially girls).

Answer 3

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Answer 4

You are a unique individual with a purpose in this life. What matters is what you think about yourself. Make a list of your good qualities.....kind, generous,etc and be honest and open with yourself. The good qualities you have should make you proud of yourself. You know, most people these days are in such a hurry, they don't really pay attention to others around them much. There is only 1 you, so be proud of who you are. What others think about you has nothing to do with you or how you feel about yourself. Keep that in mind. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I'm just going to be blunt. Guys (from the U.S.) don't like girls who are nothing but skin and bones, but they definitely love girls who have accents. Don't make yourself sick by not eating enough, you don't want to have kidney failure. Also, don't think that just because someone glances at you that they are thinking negative thoughts. They may very well be thinking about how attractive you are :) You have to think of the positive possibilities! (Just out of curiosity, what country are you from?)

Answer 6

Gosh, I'd start by being assertive to people that criticize me. To your friend that called you chubby, I might answer: Maybe you think i'm chubby, but I think I look just fine. Maybe they are actuall y jealous of you. Why else would they put you down.
The bottom line is that the only opinion you should care about is your own. Who are they that criticize you?Nothing.

Answer 7

The first step in living without caring about other's comments, is, believe it or not, not to care or give a damn about your OWN comments! If you cant experience and be authentic about your own dismal insight into the nature of things themselves, how in the world are you ever going to not care about comments from other people? If you think your comments are important, valuable and worthwhile, you will undoubtedly feel the same way about other people's comments.

Answer 8

Cool. Just remember - sometimes we learn from criticism and it is helpful but dont let it brand you.

PS you can only be shy if you think you are. I bet you are not shy inside. Someone branded you and you believed it.

Smile - you are fine.

Answer 9

Pray about it. I'll pray for you.