There was a major accident in our city. A drunk driver ran over and killed a very close and dear friend of mine. I might be wrong, but I truly think that I still loved him. I love him more than a friend. I had known him for over 6years now. We talked to much back then and i felt something for him...he knew but he wanted to know me more before we continued. However, he loved to date and cheat so that kept me away...He eventually started dating someone and became committed so i did too...I went on and i meet my now fiancee...Me and my fiancee have been together ever since with the exception of 4months during these six years. We broke up and during that time me and my friend rekindled our friendship...we txt and chatted..and once in a great while talked on the phone...by now he had been married (he claimed divorced but im not sure he was cuz according to the obituary he was still married..its a long story...but anyway. I do love my fiance and he supported me through it ...
2007-03-19 16:53:19 · 7 answers · asked by Unique C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He feels hurt that i still talked to this guy ...i didnt tell him cuz he knew that i always had a crush on him before we started dating back then...its hard to loose someone you care for ...friend, brother, sister, etc...but i feel like deep down he might've been my first love...i feel that now but maybe its just me mourning...i dont know...but i dont know how to mourn, cuz my bf just wont understand...he will feel hurt and cheated on..and i understand but im in so much pain...its hard to loose someone when their sick..but accidental is just torture...i need advice ...please ...
2007-03-19 16:55:42 · update #1
My friend lied about a lot of things. The truth came out in the eulogies...I was in shock, which is why right now i feel so cold hearted towards him. However, i know that i will break sooner or later...I try talking to his sister for the support but i know she has her own thngs going on losing her brother. This recently happened it hasnt been a week yet. TOday was the burial, i didnt go cuz of work (which was more of an excuse) but still...
I am not psycho. I do love my fiancee and i know he loves me. I DO have issues...the issue that i just lost my friend....best friend...my heart is broken...but its hard cuz we briefly dated and i know its hard for my fiancee to understand me right now..he is hurt. So i try not to mention it...but i need to mourn...thanks to those that have helped me see things differently! Your right...im not that widow...hearing from other girls he might've been with at the same time is tough pluz the death alone...thanks again!
2007-03-19 17:09:33 · update #2
Now that your friend has been killed it will be REALLY EASY for you to only remember the GOOD stuff about him. You've probably already compared him to your fiance' in many ways. Be careful with this. The guy is gone. Even if he was your first love....and he very well may have been....but even if he was....he's gone now. Let your heart heal and move on with your fiance'. It sounds like you knew your fiance' was a better man in the long run, than the other guy, a loooonnnng time ago. Don't let your heart trick you into thinking any different now.
If you truly loved this guy with all your heart you would have dropped your fiance' years ago. But you didn't....and there are probably numerous reasons for that. Try to remember THOSE REASONS.
Sorry about the loss of your friend. And congratulations on finding a man that sounds like he might need a little reassurance right now.
2007-03-19 17:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by guatemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously still had deep feelings for this man, but..if you are engaged you need to leave him in the past. To hurt for an old friend dying is reasonable, but let it go at that. Yes your Fiance has a right to feel hurt and betrayed, he thought you were being Faithfull physically and "Mentally". It would really bothering me to know, he had Lied the whole time about not being married any longer. Whatelse did he lie to you about?
2007-03-19 17:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, I think you really need to start being honest with your fiance about everything. The two of you are really starting your life together.
I think that you should explain to your fiance that all romantic feelings aside, you lost a close friend who was important to you and that you are upset about it. Tell him that you need his support and that you need him to be there for you.
Since you and your fiance have been together for the past six years, I expect him to be able to be there for you and help you get over the loss of a friend. That's what your significant other is there for. If he is too immature or childish or jealous to put all else aside for now, and if you can't be honest with him and receive support from him, then maybe you two should seek couples counseling.
You can't spend the rest of your life with someone who can't be supportive of you.
2007-03-19 17:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Biz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you have to move on with your life. That's why you have a fiance now is because you have decided to start another new life(beginning) with that person. And if that person really loves you, forgiveness is an easy thing to do esp the third person involved has already past away..
2007-03-19 17:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by khatzzz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you should ask him for forgiveness. Clear the plate that had the crumbs. How would you feel if the tables were turned? Forgiveness is the key. You will grow stronger together after it is all out of the way. Treat him as you want him to treat you.
2007-03-19 17:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death is painfull but your thinking thoughts that neverwere their he would have cheated on you I feel sorry for his widow, and you should be glad its not you as for your boyfriend he doesn't deserve to be treated like this let him go and find someone who really loves him you have issues. Sorry but the truth hurts to.
2007-03-19 17:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by Dianna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is married and you have your fiancee who cares for you, steer clear from him unless you guys know that it is just platonic friendship. Cheers.
2007-03-19 17:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋