OK.. this is the deal,my dearest friend suspected her hubby of cheating a few years ago, well guess what? YEP! He sure did!
now he says that he feels terrible and "what was i thinking"and stuff like that! she cried,he cried, they broke up for 3 days and now she's asking me if she should give him a 2nd chance,she says "PEOPLE CHANGE YOU KNOW"! well why is she trying to convince me? do you think a zebra really can change his/her stripes? or ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER, and THEY ALWAYS RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME?
2007-03-19 16:50:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Should she be asking herself a different question. Do I love myself enough to be with this person. Do I still have things to learn with this other soul. Do I love myself enough to allow him back into my life .
If she still has trust issues of herself to work through, or old issues of self belief and (lack of) self love, then having him back will be perfect for her.
I wonder at your own need to find her answer. Do you have trust issues that need to be resolved too? I am sure that you are the best of friend, and that you concern is purely for your friend. Good luck with it all.
2007-03-19 17:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i love zebras - yummy!
seriously tho - if a zebra can live with no stripes then the chances are they really have changed
but to do it because they know it is the right ting to do
not just for what they can get out of other people
a lot would depend on WHY he cheated and if he is absolutely genuine in repentance enough to totally change his ways (not just a lip service thing to get his wife back)
a time of separation may help both get things in focus - if after a few months the hubby has 'found someone new' then it will be obvious that his protestations of 'apology' were merely lip service
if however he is genuinely repentant he will hold himself back and hope t win his wife back
but (a Dr Phil moment here) the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour
so ask yourself what has changed that the hubby wont WANT to do it again
OK all that talk of zebra has now made this lion HUNGRY so cu l8r
2007-03-20 00:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person can change if they really want and choose to. Life is all about choices and yes i feel a person can really change. God can change their hearts and lives as well. I do not always believe that once a cheater always a cheater is the case or the truth. We can all choose to change something in and about our lives if we want to or not.
2007-03-19 23:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly- a zebra doesn't change his stripes, a leopard doesn't change his spots but this is NOT your man-your friend isn't ready to throw in the towel-be a good friend, back off, never say "I told you so" and wait and see-chances are he's a louse and will continue to be and at some point your friend will bail and need you as a friend...
2007-03-20 00:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by bikinibabewannabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if the reason he cheated in the first place is still there, he will cheat again. For some reason he felt the need to seek intimacy outside his marriage. If they can't find the root of the problem, this will happen again.
2007-03-20 00:03:37 · answer #5 · answered by n2mama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not like the person changes... The woman just suffocates the life out of him and then he never gets the chance to cheat. If they get back together you'll see a lot less of her or you may just hear bad news eveytime yous talk.
2007-03-19 23:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by mgray1981 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once a cheater always a cheater a man is not going stop picking up whores and stay true to their wife
2007-03-20 00:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They hard part is over he already did it one time, and he can change yeah.. But he knows now she will take him back if he messes up.. She needs to think of that part of her heart that is going to hurt and feel this forever.. If she takes him back she has to be ready to forgive and forget, casue from my own life I know how it is hold onto it.. and it hurts not letting go of the pain.. tell her good luck, and if it has only been 3 days I dont believe that is enough time to change..
2007-03-19 23:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
People do change....but I think your friend and her " cheater" need to sit down and have a serious discussion and seek some counseling.
2007-03-19 23:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point, the urge WILL return. I know because it often happens to me. I have never been faithful to any guy I have been with. Even my hubby of 15 yrs!
2007-03-19 23:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋