when i was younger i was very promiscuos. i got married and then seperated because he was cheating on me. but now ive been with this totally amazing guy for 1yr 1/2 and lately all i can think about is how i used to be and how good it used to feel when i was sexing a new guy. my guy isnt anything to complain about in bed at all either; but i cant help this craving im having to go have a wild kinky crazy affair with anyone and everyone that wants to. i like the kinky stuff and my guy isnt in to it. he knows about my past and says he still loves me. i know i absolutely love him with all my heart. but in my head and in my naughty spots i feel the need to have someone new. i dont know what to do; these urges are driving me nuts. i love my man but wanna sex others. what should i do? can anyone help me before i ruin this?
2007-03-19 16:45:18 · 22 answers · asked by the_syco_t 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's because you are afraid of getting hurt again cause the last guy you were with cheated on you . Now you think you don't deserve to be happy. You think this guy is gonna do what your ex did. You crave attention from other men cause you are scared to get hurt by someone you love again.
If you want to have sex with others talk about it with him. Maybe spice things out with you and another girl and him. Maybe try to get him into swinging.
Or maybe you should go to a therapist and talk to them about you being promiscuos. If you really love him you would find away to subdue your thoughts with other guys.
Seems to me though you are looking for away out of something that makes you happy.
If you want to talk we can contact me . I'll be more then glad to listen and try to help you...I'm a great person once you gt to know me.
2007-03-19 16:56:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girl let me tell you i was the same way, i wanted more kinkyness in the sex life i wanted to do the same stuff your talking about, my husband also was soooooo offended by the thought of sex toys and he took it as he wasn't good enough. i couldn't even bring up the subject without it starting a fight. so one night i was sick and tired of feeling the way i felt so i went to a naughty store and bought a sex toy for him without him knowing it, i also bought handcuffs and a blind fold, so when he came home from work i had a bubble bath drawn for him with candles all around and got him all nice and relaxed, after that i told him that i had a surprise for him and pulled him into the bedroom , then i told him to close his eyes and i blindfolded him and handcuffed him to the bed , at first he was kinda nervous but since i had him tied up he couldn't do ****. then that was the end of that, he now goes to the naughty store with me. try this and if you really think about it do you actually think he is going to stop you once he knows how it feels, i highly doubt it, so what do you have to lose ...... if this don't work i don't know what will....GOOD LUCK
2007-03-19 18:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, first of all, know that alot of people are like you...Its like they think marriage is a life sentence, with no chance of parole...It normal to wonder what if...Here is what you need to do...You need to figure out, is this marriage something you really want, or want right now...You said your guy is amazing and you loved him...Would you want to hurt this totally amazing guy by your actions? Make the engagement a long one, this way if you decide to act on the naughty spot feeling (im adding this saying to my list lol) you can end the engagement...Just know, your not the only one...Think before you act, OK be good :)
2007-03-19 17:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is temptation. So often, just as we are about to get exactly what we want, something slips in and says "but the old way was so much fun" or "why not go back to what you know".
I LOVED my 20s and I had similar feelings when I was about to get married. If you think about it (or better yet, talk to an old boyfriend) you will remember that there were moments that were thrilling, but there was a whole sack of BS that made you leave that scene in the first place. Let go of the past and embrace the future.
Peace!
PS - oh man. "irresponsible lady parts"? My goodness. lol!
2007-03-19 16:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by carole 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You need to be honest with yourself.You arent satisfied with him.You want someone kinky and if you marry this poor man he will be miserable,especially when you give into those "cravings".Now with that said, theres a lot of cravings we all get, but we allow common sense to prevail for the better of our futures, and everyone involved.You have a choice to make.
2007-03-19 16:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your example of historical promiscuity is a good example for both men and women to avoid because of the mind games your past will play with your future. If you can't get beyond these mind games and have him join you in the "kinky stuff," then it's probably wise you not marry your fiance at this time because any trust you build with him for the future can be destroyed easily by one slip of your tongue or slide of your body into your past! If you cheat, you will destroy the trust, hurt him, and put yourself on a path of probable misery.
2007-03-19 17:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you could try role playing. That might make him free what inhibitions he has about kinky sex and you might be able to satisfy your need for a new partner. Otherwise, I would say you might not be ready to get married.
2007-03-19 17:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by chapel_bluff 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should tell your future mate about your felings thoughts and desires. Ignoring them may lead to bad things for a marriage. After you talk about it maybe he can help you find new ways of satisfying your desires.
But he at least deserves to know the truth.
If you can't confide in him you should rethink your future plans with him.
2007-03-19 16:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by M P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sex is really psychological, you see. It's literally "all in your head". It seems like you may need to shift your focus from thinking about the act to thinking about the guy.
2007-03-19 16:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by Cynthia T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get yer man to swing..bring in a gf first..then get a couple...then a guy... sex should be fun and it doesn't hafta = love all the time..if you guys can get into the "lifestyle" i think you'd love it...the more the merrier i always say
2007-03-19 17:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by donnie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋