how can i get them to understand?

Question

how can i get my parents to understand that i am an adult and can make my own decsions...im very responsible...if graduated high school and have gone through my first year of college already!

i have a very very well paying job..should i just move out?!?

i pay for everything except the food..i do my own laundry,take care of my things like my room..i help my parents out with my lik sister like taking her and picking her up from places

Answer 1

my friend n I went through the same problem, i suggest you sit them down, make sure u let them know you want to speak 2 them seriously and calmly no getting mad or yelling. Let them know how you're feeling and that you don't want to look back a few yrs from now and notice that you haven't had fun and taken advantage of your young yrs, otherwise you'll find yourself blaming your parents l8r on for not having enough fun. Always be safe, never do anything excessivelly, let them know you're going out once, let them give you a curfew and respect it, show them you're responsible and ask them gradually to let you come home a little later, let them meet your friends. Tell them that if they don't understand, you'll have to move out, by the way,have everything planned out just in case, research a place 2 live and plan out ur bills n stuff, maybe room mate (responsible ones) just in case ur parents get mad and just tell u 2 leave, i dont know how they are, i'm pretty sure they'll understand.

Answer 2

If you still live at home and are still relying on them for money they may think that you're not old enough to handle things on your own yet. Once you have a job and are making your own money and buying your own things they may lighten up a bit. My parents were like this too even after I had a job and when I was in college. The turning point was when I bought my own car. I had my own insurance and made all the payments on it myself. They were actually very proud that I was responsibe enough to handle the $210/month car payment and the $100/month insurance by myself and still have enough money left over from my job to pay for half my tuition (that was the deal-they pay half, I pay half) and pay for my own books and clothes and such. They were also proud that I could handle a full-time job and full-time school (it was hard but I did it). I now live with my husband and 19 month old daughter in our own home. My parents still offer me advice but dont expect me to take it anymore. Just show your parents that you are responsible. If you dont have a job, get one and show them that you can support yourself with only a little help from them. Even if it's just a part-time job or a summer job it will show your parents that you have the initiative to get out there and start earning your own money.

Answer 3

It depends a great deal on what type of decisions you are wanting to make. Most parents know that kids need to gradually assume more responsibility and make decisions but they are tormented by the fact that there are many forces out there in the world that take advantage of a young adult (especially a girl) and it is hard to let go because even though you are mature and responsible they can not control every person or situation you might encounter. Stuff like the Natalie Holloway story scare the crap out of most parents.

Try to stay calm and rational when discussing conflict issues with your parents and realize that they love you and want the best for you. It is reasonable that they want to know where you are and who you are with if you still live with them. If you are away at college, make sure that you keep in touch with them and keep a cell phone with you in case you need to reach them in an emergency. It is also good to let you parents know how to contact a few of your close friends just in case you are out of touch for some reason.

Answer 4

They're parents, and at 18/19 we're still their daughters. It also sounds like your hte oldest kid, which is hardest for parents to let go of. Im lucky enough to be the 3rd kid, so that road was already paved for me and I have alot of freedom.

If you lived at home during college its also a lot harder for them to see you as an independent adult, when you live in dorms they see that independce a lot better than just doing your own laundry and all that because they're separated for a bit and you have time to grow as a person away from them.

You can talk ot them, but ultimately if that doesn't work you just have to wait it out.

Answer 5

Sorry sweetie but they will always be your parents and always wonder and worry about you, they will always give you unsolicited advice and always see you as their little girl. It all depends on how you react, listen to them they are wiser and still your parents and deserve respect. Listen to them and take the good advice and use it and what you disagree with just ignore. But be respectful and mature about it you will seem even more a child by fighting with them and yelling. Good Luck it is tough to find a balance in being their child and a woman in your own right, who is capable of making her own decisions. I wish you the best. If you are still living with them then the old saying my roof, my rules does apply. Perhaps you should consider moving out it will be easier for you all.

Answer 6

It's hard for parents to let go.

If you still live in their house or depend on them to pay your car insurance/tuition/bills, they probably can't quite view you as an independent adult yet.

Are you behaving as a responsible adult?? Because it's more about mental maturity than age!

Answer 7

are you financially independent?
do you still rely on your parents for basic needs?
do they pay for things like you car insurance, your tuition, your food, rent?

if you answered yes to any of the above then you are still letting your parents control major parts of what it means to be an adult.

if you want to change it, you are going to need to step up and take control for yourself, its not easy, but i bet you can do it!

good luck!

Answer 8

do they still give you money? If they still give you $$$$, they still feel like your not taking care of yourself yet. Otherwise, they should treat you like an adult if your on your own.

Answer 9

you are a legal adult at 18 yrs old. there is no need to convince anybody. it's your right.

Answer 10

if you think about it you will realize how much you need your parents once you become independent.