How do I get over having two miscarriages in 6 months?

Question

My fiancee and I really want to have a baby but the two times that I have gotten pregnant I have miscarried at 2 and 3 months. I'm not sure how to deal with this.

Answer 1

You never get over it, you get through it.

Read my write up on 'Dealing with Loss due to Infertility. I hope it helps you realize that you are not alone and it is hard. Sorry to hear of your loss, it is difficult.

http://diju.tripod.com/loss.html

Answer 2

Miscarriage is very hard to deal with especially when you want a baby. Give yourself time to heal before trying again, wait at least 6 months to a year which i know seems like forever when you are trying to have a baby. After 3 miscarriages myself (2 within 3 months of each other) i decided to wait a while and it worked i now have a beautiful 7 month daughter, and she was worth the wait.

Answer 3

Oh you poor thing, I am so very sorry for you.
We were trying for our second for nearly a year when I finally conceived only to find out (on my birthday) that there was no heartbeat and the baby would not develop. I had to have day surgery to have him removed.
This was mid February and I am no where near over it. I have watched countless friends over the last year fall pregnant so easily it makes me sick. I can't be around my best friend at the moment who has just had her second.
I am trying so hard to stay strong, but get very close to giving up all the time. I know in my heart that I am supposed to have another child, but I am 35 and do not want to be having another baby much later.
Basically, my husband and I have just 'got on' with life. I no longer think that I may be pregnant soon or by Christmas, life is just going on. I think that is what you have to do. Sure, have sex when you are fertile etc, but don't give it a second thought until you know you are late for your period.
I wish you all the very best, nature can be cruel and I do not know why these things happen. You just have to try and be strong enough and keep going.

P.S. Speak to a counseller over the phone if you can. You can get things out to a stranger, things you can't actually say to anyone else. That helped me.

Answer 4

Sometimes, a pattern of early miscarriages (in the first trimester) is a sign of insulin resistance, which is a facet of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

If 2-3 of the factors below apply to you, ask your Ob-gyn to refer you to a endocrinologist for evaluation.

- You have excess hair on your upper lip, chin, underside of your jaw.
- You have irregular periods, or no periods at all.
- You ovulate irregularly or not at all.
- You have thinning scalp hair.
- You have acne or oily skin.
- You have brown patches or "skin tags" under your arms or breasts.
- You are overweight and carry your excess fat mostly around your middle (apple shape).
- You have not conceived after 1 year of trying.
- You have had more than 1 miscarriage.

Understand that you do not have to have all the signs above to be diagnosed with PCOS. But if you see a pattern, it could be that you have a degree of insulin resistance (IR), which can contribute to early miscarriages.

Women with PCOS/IR who are suffering repeated early miscarriages can lower their chances from 40-42% to under 10% (normal) by taking Metformin, which lowers insulin resistance and helps protect the fetus from a mother's high blood sugar levels.

If you think you may have PCOS, don't wait to treat it. It is not just an ovarian problem, and it will not just go away on its own. The earlier you get help, the easier it will be to overcome.

You should insist on being referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I would not let a regular Ob-gyn treat me, because many Ob-Gyns still don't understand how to treat PCOS appropriately.

Also ask your specialist for a vaginal ultrasound to see if you have a uterine septum or a bicornuate uterus. These physical defects of the uterus can increase your chances of miscarriage. A septate uterus can be repaired surgically, but there is little you can do for a bicornuate uterus, other than trying and trying again. The ultrasound can also detect if you have polycystic ovaries or not (the major feature of PCOS).

Hope all this helps somehow. I can imagine you are grieving, but I hope you realize that you are not helpless, and you can do something to find out why it may be happening, and how to prevent it next time.

Answer 5

I am so sorry.. we lost our 3rd baby at 4 months and though its been 5 years I think of him often. Time will heal , but the only thing that really helped me was when I finally was able to carry another baby.
I hope you heal.

Answer 6

Through Prayer. Instead of thinking and worring about the Why's, How could this be me and all reasons thinkable. I would worry about the purpose for the outcome. That its not my time and God has a better plan for me and that he may want it at his time not mine. That would help me and being around those who love me and also doing things that will get my mind off thinking so much about it. I wish you the best.

Answer 7

Maybe you should go to counceling for the both of you to get all of your feelings out. Also, you should go to a doctor and try to figure out why this keeps happening. I wish you the best of luck...and don't give up!

Answer 8

I am sorry about that. wait several months, check your nutrition, smoking, drinking etc,, Before you try again, go ahead and get married. Set a good example to your new child.

Answer 9

My best suggestion is visit a gynecologist and have a scan and fallow her guidelines.

Answer 10

i feel bad for you but just don't give up if this is what you really want