Is it normal to easily annoyed by your mate after 20 years together?

Question

Seems like everything he does drives me crazy. I realize it's a short drive but still..................

Answer 1

YES YES & YES ! and it goes both ways ! the only counter to it is to make sure that you both have enough outside interests & friends to ensure new conversations are possible and that you don't spend too much time together. Congratulations to you both! i only know 4 couples who have been together longer than 15 years.

Answer 2

So your starting to get edgy. Well you need a break from your husband as he may feel the same way.Do you not have anywhere to go to spend a few day's alone with other friends.Or sometimes it works if you both get out and go to a resort for a few day's or just a week-end.I got married at 17 and believe me there was no easy roads to take.But 39 years married I'd have to say we did something right.And now we take pleasure trips together and enjoy them as we do different things to make us both happy.The bottom line to every marriage is {LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT ] If you feel he drives you crazy and keep telling yourself that ,then that's the picture your painting for him as well. But put whatever about him that drives you crazy under your feet for a bit and just maybe you'll see the good part in him.If your 20 years married there must have been some good parts there, so just go do a refresh of things you like to do in life.But please if your marriage was great all along don't go do something stupid as the grass isn't greener on the other side. Good luck and dress up and get out to enjoy some free time apart for a spell.

Answer 3

I have been married for 27 years and went on that short drive awhile back. YES!!! I wanted a divorce because he never stops the stuff that makes me nutso. So,,,he is getting help professionally, and working hard at the annoying habits. I am no longer a doormat and tell him right away when the little things get to me, like talking while holding food in his teeth. GOOD LUCK You can only change yourself, and ask for the wisdom to accept those things you cannot.

Answer 4

Usually not, because after 20 years of marriage together to get easily annoyed by your mate is something very unusual in fact you should be accustom to it already and season with it, once in a while of annoying just because of some occassional unusual action is norm but EASILY annoyed is something quite unusual.

Answer 5

I find it goes in cycles. I will have occassional low tolerance times and just shut up and try my best to make a joke about it. When I can say something like a joke to him about something he is doing that is annoying me, I get my point across and I don't hurt or embarrass him. Humor seems to be my best weapon. But yes it is natural for men to annoy women without even trying :( AND on a regular basis.

An older male relative once told me this should explain it all:
How did God create man?....From dirt
Therefore, men were created from dirt, remain dirt their entire lives and when they die??? yep they go back to the dirt!

Answer 6

Sometimes I guess, but is there anything else that is bothersome. Are you depressed or irritable, because sometimes people get depressed and are easily agitated. Do you enjoy everything else? Maybe, you could take a long weekend away with a friend, go shopping or something and see if that helps.

Answer 7

The choice to be annoyed is your choice.

Anytime we live with others, they are going to do things differently that we do and that may lead to feeling annoyed.

Certainly it's best if spouses try not to irritate one another, but things happen.

So the choice to be irritated is entirely up to you.

You might ask if you do something he finds irritating. Your willingness to address this could open the door to him being open to addressing one of his annoying habits.

Perhaps pick one thing each month that you try to eliminate, and ask him to do the same.

Answer 8

Its normal to be annoyed w/ur mate after 20days! (let alone 20 years) What the hell...you made it this far...hold on girl!

Answer 9

Hell yea....Ive been with my common law hubby 15 yrs and he drives me nuts!!... I often feel like its time to move on already. Gosh..............I freakin hate the bastard!

Answer 10

my husband and i are laughing about this right now. i get annoyed by him frequently..its like a fishes memory...about every 3 minutes..but he's cute..so **** it!