Has anyone ever been in either situation - either having an open marriage where either partner can see other people (for sex) or when both can be involved with a third party (either together or alone as in threesomes). Did it work out or did your marriage suffer? Just curious....
2007-03-19 16:19:50 · 14 answers · asked by mamabear_45 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
An open marriage is more risky than "swapping/swinging". If you both go to swingers' clubs together, you both know what the other is doing. You arrive and depart together. Same for a threeway (or fourway). In a true open marriage, it requires a lot of trust (and trustworthyness). If either of you are insecure, or have trust issues-forget it. Believe me, it can destroy your marriage.
However, if you both want to try open marriage, here are some suggestions-
First, try going to a swingers' club. See how you both feel about the experience. Talk to couples experienced in swinging/open marriage. Get some feedback.
If you want to proceed, have a long sit down. Agree on rules and write them down! Review them often! Make VERY clear to each other what is acceptable and what is off limits. No room for "oops, I forgot". Discuss what you each think is fair, ie: one time for him, one time for her, repeat. Decide on how you will each meet people, and the process for approving of or disproving of your partner's choice. You each should have the right to "veto" the other's "picks". There is a danger that one of you may have a "partner", and start spending too much time with him/her, while the other sits at home pulling out their hair. That is all too common. You get so wrapped up with your new playmate that you leave your spouse feeling like the third wheel. DON'T DO THAT! That will bring a very bad end to the situation, and possibly, your marriage.
Think long and hard-don't rush into it.
2007-03-19 18:10:43 · answer #1 · answered by Chris S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An open marriage is a bad idea, you don't want to be having sex without your partner. Swinging is different. I have friends that have been together for years and two years ago I had a threesome with them, before I met my Fiance. They are still together and doing well. I'm not opposed to having a threesome with my man some day. The people who say "what if they leave you?" they've got it all wrong. The point is to experience other things inside the relationship and know how great it is. My friends have only been with eachother, lost their virginities to eachother. She wanted to try hooking up with a girl and he was curious about what other girls were like. There wasn't any jealousy because they both wanted to. My Fiance is a virgin and seeing me with another girl would be hot for him. So basicly if there's no jealousy and both want to do it than swinging is fine, fun and kinky.
2007-03-19 16:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by kadan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I tried a couple of threesomes and it came close to ending our marriage. We were not nearly as cool as we thought were. The "other woman" that we invited into our relationship tried to split us up by pursuing a relationship with each one of us. My wife confided in me and I in her just before things really went too far... it took a long time for us to get right after everything and it took almost a year for the woman involved to stop contacting us. I think it is an unhealthy thing... make your partner your fantasy.
2007-03-19 18:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT get involved in Swinging / Swapping or Open Marriage
The only multi partner sex that is safe is a 3some with wife
inviting other woman...Wife always invites other woman and
hubby never contacts her outside of home..
Never have another man or couple in your bed...
Anything else is a short journey to divorce for most people
2007-03-19 16:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have not done this but i would think it would hurt the marriage....what would happen if your partner decided they like the sex with the other person and left you......if you are just trying to spice up your bedroom relationship go to the adult store and purchase some toys.
2007-03-19 16:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by thats me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the long run, the marriage will suffer!!!
2007-03-19 16:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
We are a married couple, very open minded and we have experimented a few times. If you don't make it an obsession it will work.
2007-03-19 16:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
couples with a good relationship can swing and have a good time, with no problems later. If a problem occurs, it was probably there to begin with.
2007-03-19 16:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by hunk of cheese 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
our neighbors just divorced after becoming swingers. she fell in love with someone else and left him and the children behind.
2007-03-19 16:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by misse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you do that in your marriage you can't
love each other. That isn't love that is two kinky people that just happens to be marriage.
2007-03-19 16:47:54 · answer #10 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋