Should I tell this person? How?

Question

There is somebody I like that just happens to be my VERY close friend. This person is nice, funny, cute, anything anybody could wish for. We do EVERYTHING together, and that is what I especially enjoy. When I am around this person, I get a little.... well, you know...Anyways, I can't stand not being able to love this person in the way of once again you know what I mean. I am not perverted but its just one of those things you can't resist. What do I do???

Answer 1

You need to be very careful as you probably don't want to lose her as a friend, so here is what I recommend.

Assuming you don't know if she's gay or not,

1) Test the waters to see if she's gay. Maybe go see a movie with some hot girls in it like Almodovar's Volver, and say something like "Wow... Penelope's hot... what do you think of her?" And try to get a sense of if she's gay or not. If you get the sense that she's not gay, you should probably not try to push things any further and just accept that she will only be your friend.

2) If you are fairly certain that she might have bi or gay tendencies, then you should try to get "feelers" from her, or indications that she likes you as much as you like her. You need to do this subtly so that if she just wants to be friends, it doesn't make your friendship weird.

a) Verbal feelers: Subtly work in phrases that might suggest that you like her such as "I really like spending time with you" or "the time I spend with you is so special" or "I get along better with you than anyone else I know." If she mentions some of them back, that's a good sign.

b) Physical feelers: Or, you can give her that look... the look you give when you're trying to seduce someone in a bar, but don't give her 100% of that look, maybe 50% of it so that it can be interpreted either way. Ask her about the types of girls she likes, If she is responding as enthusiastically with similar remarks, you can proceed to step 3, otherwise, she may not be ready for a relationship, or a relationship with you.

c) Research: Ask her what type of girls she likes, what her ideal relationship is like, etc. Hopefully she will ask you those questions as well, and you can try to build someone who is quite like her, but don't mention it is her yet until you know that you are her type too.

d) Sensual feelers... try holding her hand (since it's common for women to do that and it not be sexual) and see if she reciprocates or draws away. If she draws away, just apologize and act friendly but more physically stand off-ish. If she reciprocates, than it's good. Save sensual feelers last since it can be a bit more aggressive. Use them only if you're still unsure.


3) If she's also giving you feelers back that she likes you too, it's pretty easy... just tell her that you'd like to kind of be with her and maybe try to fool around with her. You have to make sure that you've gotten strong feelers though, otherwise it can make things awkward if she doesn't feel the same way about you.

Answer 2

You sound like me, about two years ago with my first. Her and I would see each other every day and everyday the sexual tension between us was so great that other people felt it. I wasn't sure if she was gay or whether she was really attracted to me or not. She has a great body, she is funny, she is entertaining, and she is a pretty chill person. One day we went to a party and got drunk not so drunk that we wouldn't remember anything said but drunk enough where we didn't care how the other person felt about what might be said. So that's when I told her that I was falling for her and she said that she was falling for me too. Although it took her to get drunk to understand how she felt about me, my first instinct told me that she wanted to be more than just friends. Normally your first instinct is correct. Our relationship only last for six months, however we are still great friends! she, at the time, was not as comfortable with her sexuality as I am; that's why our relationship fell.

If you truly feel that you and her have something pass friends then it's probally right. however don't quote me just be sure to follow your heart. Always think what's the worst that can happen once you know the worst then maybe the leap will be less dangerous.

Answer 3

My best friend told me she really liked me. We were essentially joined at the hip as well, and I already had inklings of her feelings. It was a little awkward when she told me, but we essentially got back to normal the next day. Only, we're both bi, and were already fooling around, so I think it's a different situation.
It really depends on your friend's orientation, their feelings toward you, and how much you both want to preserve the friendship if it doesn't work out. But remember, if you don't tell the person your true feelings, you may regret it (and wonder "What if?") for a painfully long time. On the other hand, if it's a very touchy situation, make very sure that you are sure of your feelings toward this person, before potentially ruining a wonderful friendship.

Answer 4

First find out if this person likes you in that way, i dont want you to lose your very close friend, but maybe this friend feels the same for you........ask around or something, anyways it will all work out for you you'll see!!!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Be careful. There is someone like that in my life and someone else told him and he didnt talk to me for like 4 days, until i finally convinced him it was all lies... *sigh*... sometimes its just not meant to be

Answer 7

The best policy is honesty. who knows they may be thinking the same.

Answer 8

sounds to me like you're close to doing it anyway.:)