Serious only please.?

Question

I am worried about my stepson's girlfriend. She is a teen and is in her first trimester. I have been told she is drinking Vodka and not eating and doing other things harmful because she says she want's the baby to die. Her mother is very nieve so that doesn't help the situation any. Her father forbids her to have an abortion.

Who do I turn to or tell so she can be talked to? She is really timid and shy. He has tried talking to her and is very worried about the health of this baby. Even though she is carrying it, he is the father and has rights too. Apparently she is on pshycological medication which the OBGYN told her to quite taking.

Can we have her committed somewhere where she can be supervised until the birth of the baby? We are going to help him file for full custody next week of this unborn child, but what can we do to keep her from harming this fetus.

This is a very sweet but shy girl. I know little about her but other than this concern, she is a good girl and I am not angry with her just concerned for her and the baby and want to help her through this. She already knows I will help with the care of this baby so she can graduate and go to college and still have a small extra curricular life during motherhood.

Answer 1

Being that she is under age, it is likely that you can get a court order to stop her from hurting the unborn child or to be put into an institution that will help her cope with it and monitor her meds and what she does to herself.This will be a fight however because you are not her legal gardian. BUT there is a life at stake! Take it to the courts, talk to her parents and tell them that she is doing this... if nothing else she is to young to be drinking to begin with! She is obviously mentally unfit to make a decision in this and I pray that you can get her into a place that will keep her from doing any more harm! ACT FAST!!
Has he or you told her that you are willing to have full custody of the child and that all she has to do is have it? Try offering to pay all bills etc. You can't force her to have this baby, but you can try legal action to protect a life.
Other then that I can't tell you what to do, the baby is in her body and if nothing is at least attempted to stop it then she will do as she says.

Answer 2

Try letting her know that the odds of her having a live birth are very good indeed - it's much harder to kill a fetus than she realizes. However, she will likely have a severely handicapped child - and she will be held responsible financially for its care - just like how fathers who leave the mother and child have to pay child support, so do mothers who leave the father and child.

As a last resort, you could also try citing child endangerment to the authorities - if she cracks and admits she's doing it deliberately, she may be taken for psychiatric evaluation - and to dry out.

I would also have a long talk with your step-son. Custody really shouldn't be considered at this time, since child could be handicapped. Since he has insufficient or no control over the mother during the pregnancy, he shouldn't have to take on that added responsibility - just having a healthy child is a big enough job. I hate to say it this bluntly, but if she makes her bed, she really should lie in it. She should at least be made to help with all the financial problems it can causeand all because of her callous lack of regard for others.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you cannot force her to go get help. She has to go of her own free will. If you can talk her into it, there is a behavioral health wing at most hospitals. They can usually help in situations like these if the help is wanted.

It is not often that you see the roles reversed where the father wants to be a parent and the mother does not. It makes me sad to think what she could be doing to this child. You must be a mess with worry!

It sounds like you and your husband are doing a good job raising your stepson. Now for his choice in women?!? That's a different story. In this case, I would suggest being as nice to her as possible; as much that might suck. The closer you can get to her, the better. If you can spend as much time with her as possible, you can make sure she isn't doing anything harmful. Invite her over for dinner, take her shopping, plan time for her and your stepson to have some time together. Try anything to you can to keep her near you. If you are mean or indifferent towards her, she won't come around and god knows what she would do without someone who cares for this baby around. I know it will be so hard to pretend to be nice to her; but you only have six more months and you can see the benefits when you are holding a healthy grandchild in your arms.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

I used to work in the EMS field and I have personally seen women hospitalized at mental facilities while they were pregnant. The fact that she is on psych meds means there is grounds for this. She should NOT be taking her psych meds while she is pregnant, they can be very harmful to the baby. Call a lawyer, have him talk to a doctor to get the opinion of an unbiased medical professional and take the girlfriend and her parents to court.

If she wants to terminate her pregnancy, she needs to have an abortion. The route she is going will only lead to child with fetal alcohol syndrome or worse!

Good luck in this, I hope you are able to protect your unborn grandchild and I hope your son is able to gain full custody!

Answer 5

depending on what state you are in I would help her seek an abortion. I'm sure that I'll recieve a bunch of thumbs down for this answer but I don't mind. Obviously she doesnt want the pregnancy to continue and theres too many unwanted drug/alcohol babies in tihs world- so sad I know I have worked with many. Going off of her meds is also a dangerous thing for your stepson's gf. I hope for the best.

Answer 6

she said serious only! man why can't people listen.

*** The following is the most informative and helpful answer you can possibly get. Scroll down to the bottom to get contact information for several resources and organizations available to you. Thank you for your thumbs up. ***

i appreciate that you're reaching out to this girl. the baby is already in the process of getting aborted (even though when the baby is expelled the self-service abortion may not have been successful) by her mother's reckless behavior, and the mother needs an intervention and FAST! for the sake of the baby, find a way to have her detained, and contact a church, relatives, a pregnancy crisis center, counselors, and intervention specialists.

because she is a minor, you can contact her parents and ask that they arrange for the courts to stop her from hurting the innocent life inside her, as well as sign her into a treatment center. in this way, professionals will be able to replace her substance abuse with healthy alternatives, keep track of her medication, and help her find and achieve her personal goals toward a more positive life. members of her team can also set her up with an adoption agency.

there are some laws that may protect the child from murder when it isn't done by a doctor (yes it's kind of confusing to talk about it this sort of thing, and impossible to talk using terms that Planned Parenthood would approve of).

adoption should be arranged, at least for the time being, keeping in mind that adoptive parents can in fact be distant relatives in the extended family. without a prescription, the medication you spoke about won't be something to worry about, so find some common ground with her psychologist so that it can't be renewed. i recommend asking about switching to blister packs for all medications.

First, call the Alcohol Abuse & Crisis Intervention Line
Toll-free: 1-800-234-0246

National Drug Information, Treatment & Referral Line
Toll-free: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

National Women's Resource Center for the Prevention & Treatment of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drug Abuse
515 King Street, Suite 420
Alexandria, VA 22314
Phone: [phone]
Toll-free: 1-800-354-8824
www.ask.hrsa.gov/orgdetail.cfm?id=1696
Referrals and information targeting the needs of female adolescents and adults.

email [e-mail]

check out this information about who your stepson's girlfriend is harming: http://www.days.org/preborn.html

go here to arrange for an adoption:
http://adoptionnetwork.com/birthmother-unplanned-pregnancy/birthmother-contact.html?gcid=C13083X070

a pro-choice perspective:
http://adoptionnetwork.com/birthmother-unplanned-pregnancy/unplanned-pregnancy.html?gcid=C13083X070

Find an adoption agency anywhere in the world!
http://directory.adoption.com/

click on these links for information on the topics that will most be of help to you:
http://del.icio.us/jeristern/abortion
http://del.icio.us/jeristern/activism
http://del.icio.us/jeristern

Answer 7

Talk to her. If she is really intent on killing the baby, she'll end up doing a lot of damage (physical and mental) even if she doesn't succeed. If she really can't handle having it, and it sounds like she can't, it's not too late to get an abortion. If she's old enough, she doesn't need her parent's consent. It sounds like she's really not capable of handling the situation, and that might be the way to go here - would you rather she waited until she was ready and capable of carrying and caring for a child, or bringing a physically and mentally handicapped child into the world which would be even HARDER to care for?

Answer 8

I am so sorry that someone told you to go to Jerry Springer, that is as awful as what this girl is doing. I know that no place will hold her unless she is suicidal. The father can get rights but that won't change anything while she is pregnant. you cant force her to go anywhere. Just pray, God is good and can do miracles. maybe you should call the father and tell him that what she is doing is the same thing as having an abortion. I am so sorry you have to go through this, I will be praying for this baby and your son.

Answer 9

My cousins girlfriend did the same thing when she was pregnant, and once she started showing she became anorexic to keep from getting fat! The baby was born retarded in a vegetative state. He has been that way for 8 years now. You need to let her know that she isn't going to kill her baby this way only damage him/her. Take her to see babies and children in that state and ask her if she is prepared to take care of a mentally and physically challenged child. It may seem mean, but maybe this will open her eyes to the reality of what she is doing to her baby. Maybe if you offer to adopt the child and take full responsibility for it after it is born, but only if she starts to take proper care of herself, she will change her ways. Hope this helps!

Answer 10

Ok, i"ll make this short and sweet. Her father can not stop her from aborting. She can, in some areas, be locked up to save the baby, and you should call her parents, a doctor, church, police, child protection services, and any other comunity resources. Also planned parenthood.