to Hawaii and Maui twice, To Cancun once, Bought her a $80,000 sports car that can't carry our family anywhere, so we use my Range Rover like a commuter/ family vehicle and spend at least $1,000 a month for gas to run the kids to a prominent school that just happens to be several freeways from where we live and I'm starting to feel a little stressed about our marriage. Am I wrong to even mention this stuff to the public ? I need some help, did I mention that I work at least 40 hours per week and am not rich?
2007-03-19 15:29:11 · 19 answers · asked by brian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is something you should be telling your wife. If they can't live without those things then you have the wrong family. It is nice if you can afford them without the stress, but now it is your health involved here and believe me when I say stress will do so many things to your body and mind. If you want to continue to live the good life then stop this free spending, if she doesn't work then maybe she needs to consider a job even if parttime. Slow down before she buries you.
2007-03-19 16:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were these things she asked for or were you trying to impress her? If it's the former, I would put the kibosh on it now. Work out a budget and stick to it. If she wants more, she can work and contribute. If it's the latter, I would talk to her and let her know that, as much fun as you are having now, you need to start thinking about your future together (i.e. saving money). And then work out a budget and stick to it!
Sell/trade the $80,000 sports car and get something more reasonable and family-friendly. Cut back on the big vacations - you can still have fun as a family without Hawaii, the Philippines, or Cancun. Disneyworld (or Land depending on where you live) would probably be more reasonable! Save the big vacations for really special occassions - like 5 or 10 yr. anniversaries. If you are paying for the prominent school, start thinking about public schools (closer to home). Let the kids finish out the rest of this year and then they can start new next year with the 'normal' kids.
If she doesn't like these changes, she is probably just using you for as much as she can get out of you. If she's not she will understand and want to make sure the two of you (and the kids) have a future together and that this is stressing you.
Good luck - hope it works out.
2007-03-19 23:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not a good idea to mention it in public.
I'm not a professional counselor, but it appears that you and your wife are experiencing stress in your marriage over money. This is a common issue among married people.
See if you can talk to her about it in a non-confrontational way, maybe something like "Honey, we've been living a little bit beyond our means lately, do you think there are any areas we could economize and start saving a bit more for retirement?"
If that doesn't work, maybe a marriage counselor could help you both communicate with one another better?
2007-03-19 22:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by shmigs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
expensive vacations.....
sports car $80,000.......
monthly gas gross $1,000......
stressed out about marriage=pricless!
That's so cute how you can be so vane and sincere all at once. Maybe you could lay all the cards down for her IE; super-bacon is getting a little tired! Tell your little Philly that she needs to do less consuming and alot more butt kissing!
Otherwise I guess you better sign up for some overtime and get yourself a decent antidepressant.
Gâ£â£d luck
p.s. this is not really like public is it?
2007-03-19 22:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by ☆♥•´`•.¸ ;-) •´`•.¸ ♥☆ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, judge her reaction and move acordingly. If she throws a fit then you know but if she really doesnt understand try and see if she is willing to work with you in figuring this out!!! At least cut out the trips save the money for the gas and the school and for gods sake man put your foot down its your money and hers and she needs to learn that when you get old you need money to live too
2007-03-19 22:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by catherine marcrum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck , Brian, how long have you been wearing these blinders and not wearing the pants in the family?? Come on.....you must be raking in good money to buy a $ 80,000 car so she can look good in front of her" friends" ... or, are you are a man deeply in debt and in denial. Your wife is a person who carees deeply about appearances.. and you are just being sucked dry , aren't you??? Expect it to continue unless you are willing to put an end to this false life you are leading.
2007-03-19 22:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, your spending beyond your means. Sell the car, put kiddies in public school, tell wifie she needs to go to work and help pay for the kind of life-style she wants. You mentioned her kids, any child support coming in at all? Get real.
2007-03-19 22:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you doing this to impress others? Cause others don't care what you drive. You have to find peace of mind in your life ,and living a lifestyle that isn't you will not do it. The stress is not worth the material facade. I think you already knew what you have to do before posting this question, don't live beyond your means.
2007-03-19 22:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by artic ranger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's way too much if you're not made of money. Something
has to give or you'll be broke before you know it. Get rid of
the sports car and cut down on the trips home.
2007-03-19 22:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Alion 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why? because she's a big spender or you let her dictate you?
about your kids, if they get good grades and behave nicely and aren't spoiled, then the gas and location of the school are worth it. talk to your wife about your marriage. or seek a marriage counselor.
it's ok to ask others opinion. but the decision will come from you.
2007-03-19 22:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by unhappily married 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋