My boyfriend and I had a conversation about our past... I however am not proud of some of the things that I have done and felt it was none of his business. He doesn't need to worry about the stuff that has made me into the person that I now am. I haven't lied to him about any of it, I am open about it... however I don't offer up any information, unless it is asked. Is this lying? Am I being over sensitive about the whole thing?? I also don't ask to many or any questions about who he has slept with, what he has done. I don't ask because I am not ready to hear what he has to say.
2007-03-19 15:21:27 · 11 answers · asked by latinalove172003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Anything hat happened before you were a couple is none of his business. If you are proud of the person you have become, then the past is of no consequence whatsoever, and it shouldn't be to him either.
2007-03-19 15:29:16 · answer #1 · answered by theanswerman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i believe that what happened in the past stays in the past, everyone has things in their past that they aren't proud of and i don't believe that you should offer it up for anyone except your partner. If you have not lied to him and he knows that whole truth then i think you have done the right thing. I do not see not offering info as lying i see that as keeping things private and there are some things people don't need to know. if you aren't ready to question and hear the answers that your boy might give you then don't ask, ask when you are ready or when he is ready to offer it. Good luck and remember it is always good to keep somethings secret and that not everyone you meet needs to know your whole life story.
2007-03-19 22:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The y say the past is the past and even if it is a bit shady no one should judge yu or look down on you about it. Our past is always what shapes us into the people we are and even at present which the minute it passes is the past we still learn and still are shaping our live every second of the day.......... Im sure ur bf loves u and respects u otherwise he still would not be with u. so really dont panic too much as for others who may want to bring it up... no they dont reallyhave the right to. learn a lesson if this has boughtu some pain.. be careful who u trust and whom u diecide to share your pass with ........... Take care ok.
2007-03-19 23:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually you are being very smart about this. What he or you don't know will not hurt you. I know from experience that telling of things from your past can cause problems in a relationship. What you did before him has nothing to do with him. He should not have that ammo to use against you. And trust me when I tell you that if you tell him every little thing you ever done it will get thrown back up to you in an argument. You are smart to keep things to yourself. If he does ask, just ask him "why would you ask".
2007-03-19 22:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have a right to leave your past in the past unless it is relavent and significant to the present. We've all done (at least I have) things that we're not proud of. Sometimes it can be best just to "let the sleeping dog lie"
2007-03-19 22:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by shamarsla21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to understand that WE ALL have a past. And many things in ALL of our pasts we do not wish to see or hear about ever again. Some things in our past only should be told to God and him alone. He's forgiving and won't repeat it to anyone. If this is going to be a long term relationship, then you may want to know who with your partner has been sexually active. Or just ask them to get a hiv/aids/std test to protect yourself. It's deadlier now than years ago NOT to ask questions. Think twice.
2007-03-19 22:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by MrAlwaysRight 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you are ready to hear what he has to say about his past will you ask? I guess if the answer is yes then you have to be open to him asking you questions about your past. It's good to be able to talk about your past (as long as he doesn't hold your past against you) but it is important for your boyfriend to remember it is the past, and you both need to be able to move on from it.
2007-03-20 02:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by nicjays 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all good for you for overcoming whatever it is that is in your past! its hard to do sometimes.
everyone has a past, good...bad...indifferent. but if he brings it up and tries to belittle you, or make you feel inferior, or bad in anyway, then he isn't much of a man, and certainly not for you.
if you have made it clear that it is the past, is over, and you are moving on and he brings it up then you need to move on a little more - away from him.
good luck and don't ever let anyone put you down! stay strong!
2007-03-19 22:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right to not give information if he doesn't ask. It is not lying. You have a right to your own privacy, and as long as whatever you hold back doesn't affect your relationship, then why not? I think guys, in particular, find it hard to forget something they've heard that has shocked them, so if they don't hear it then everything's okay!
2007-03-19 23:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that there are some things in your past that you do not want to talk about and that you really dont want to be questioned about them maybe in the future you can talk about it and let him know that maybe but not now and maybe never!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-19 22:33:14 · answer #10 · answered by catherine marcrum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋