Whats the best insult you ever heard?

Question

I'm looking for one liners.

Answer 1

You were born on the freeway where most accidents happen.

That cracked me up for a while

Answer 2

I prefer "signifying" to insults & putdowns.
Fat girl or Yo Mama putdowns:
1. Your mama is so fat when she sits around the room, she SITS around the room.
2. Yesterday yo mama went swimming in the ocean and left a ring around the shore.
3. I hear yo mama used to ride with The Lone Ranger, and needed two horses.
4. The reason Christopher Columbus discovered America with only three ships is because yo mama was swimming that day and bumped the fourth one over the edge.

Signifying is fun. It's the exchange of insults in a verbal game.
Example:
1. Someone pulls out a cigarette and asked you for a match you say, "I haven't had a match since Superman died!"
2. Again asking for a match: "Your face my ***!" (and there are worst than that)
3. You say you want to blow me but you don't know me!
4. You say you want to eat me but you don't know where to meet me!
5. One guy used to grab his crotch and say, "You said a mouth full now eat a mouth full."
6. One guy might say to another, "You think you're bad?" And the answer would be, "I may not be bad but I'll do till bad comes along!"
Signifying was more fun than hard core insults.

Answer 3

Heres a couple one liners:

1) Its an inside joke, and uh your on the outside!

2) How many times were you dropped on your head as a kid?

3) Tell your mom I left the cash under the bed.

4) (While watching big moma....can be used with any movie with a fat person) Look! Its your mom!

5) Lay off the twinkies!


Yeah those are pretty funny!


If you want a nice one heres one thats cheesy:

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Answer 4

Hello- How are you, is the best one liner to say to people :-)

Answer 5

if you had a second brain, it would be lonely
you are not the sharpest tool in the shed
you are a few fries short of a happy meal
you are two tacos short of a combination platter
your porch lights are on but nobody is home
if a man say ... nice shoes, do they come in a man's size?

Answer 6

Studying for a final, I was caught staring into space by a shapely young lady whose busom aligned perfectly with where I was lost in thought. I didn't realize that I was staring right at her. And, in my mind, I was working on how to find out if the gold crowns could be proved they were gold by sinking real gold crowns on a block floating on water. And fake crowns?. Same question Archemedies solved centuries ago. Except I said out loud, "They damn well better float."
Then I heard her voice as I came to myself, "But you'll never know."

Answer 7

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Who are you again? Never mind, you're not important.

There is no excuse for you... oops, yes there is, the condom ripped.

If there ever was a case for walking birth control, you'd be it

You are living proof that there is no lifeguard on duty in the gene pool.

Answer 8

I've heard of a lot of really good ones, I just don't remember them long enough to know them. I have a good make your day joke though...

People are like slinkies. Not good for anything. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. Good Huh? =) LOL

Answer 9

oh this is so mean and i remember like it was yesterday
this fat girl i knew in high school this guy said to her once
why walk when you could roll i laughed so hard i just couldn't stop...i was high at the time..now that im not high its not as funny man i was a horrible kid that's why my kids are a pain in my rear

Answer 10

You are so ugly that when you were young your mom used to tie a bone around your neck just so the family dog would play with you.