Its called, "Just like That"
How could he leave,
me all by myself,
to sit and greave,
I feel like I've been robbed,
but he doesn't even care,
and he never even sobbed,
feels like I am obscure,
for he never bothers to look at me,
I don't think I can endure,
this any longer,
how can he treat me this way,
just because he is stronger,
I am a normal person,
just like him,
how can he worsen,
my whole entire life,
just by leaving me in the dust,
it feels like a knife,
has been jabbed into my heart,
and all the way through,
he tore me apart,
just like that.
what do u think of it???will u rate it from one to ten plz??? thank you
2007-03-19 14:35:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i WANTED it to rhyme
2007-03-19 14:40:11 · update #1
Awesome!!! Finally a poem that rhymes. Good work.. I hope you feel better soon.
2007-03-19 14:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by Catman 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
7
2007-03-19 21:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Vallen [TSL] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From one being the worst and ten being the best, I give that a five. It's not a really interesting poem overall, but some aspects could be good if you relooked specific diction. Lines like "and he never even sobbed," or "I am a normal person," don't flow very well. Wow, though, Kudos to you for rhyming! I could never do that!
2007-03-19 21:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I give it a 7. It's a very good people, especially if it's helping you cope with a problem. Don't let anyone bring you down because of a harsh judgment.
And remember, poems don't HAVE to rhyme. But if you want it to, thats always quite fun.
2007-03-19 21:38:47 · answer #4 · answered by krizzmiss 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trying to see it from the view of the writer I give it a 8.
2007-03-19 21:54:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say a 7
2007-03-19 21:40:16 · answer #6 · answered by randrnorman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay, but I think you should say something about how you allow this to happen. I mean this is mostly your fault for relying on such a person.
But that said, I'll give it an 8. I think it's mostly right on.
2007-03-19 21:41:03 · answer #7 · answered by the Boss 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
10 if you were to re site it at the right time or if it was a school assignment...........plus if it came from the heart, all poems are a 10
If you didn't mean a word, a 1
poems come from the heart so that it can be original
2007-03-19 21:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by Eduardo P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I liked it...7 or 8...I'd say...but its hard to rate a poem because poems mean something different to each of us. I might relate to someone, whereas it has nothing to do with me. :)
2007-03-19 21:45:01 · answer #9 · answered by Leroy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
3. Needs work, but could be great. Use a dictionary and thesaurus.
2007-03-19 21:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by tcconssw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋