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i'm going through a low in my life, and i can't help but pull away from my fiancee'. I moved to nyc to be with him, and left a wonderful life/job behind to teach in a crappy school. He does not support me leaving (thinks that would be immature and selfish) before the contract is over, and recently stated that he thinks since i've been such a sourpuss, I should spend more time with him, and the wedding plans, and work. Meanwhile, a whole side of me, the free-spirited, singing side, is dying. My family and him think I should just give up my silly dreams of singing and settle down with a good man. Meanwhile, I resent him for taking me out of the life I loved. Tonight, I came home, pissed off as usual, not wanting to talk to anyone, and he keeps asking me what happened...i just want him to go away!!! help!! is this normal?? I'm doubting weather we should get married.

2007-03-19 14:29:10 · 2 answers · asked by ingrid 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

2 answers

Life has low points and high points. That's just the way it is. The thing about marriage, however, is that you're dealing with life's pains with someone who is there to help you through it.
You're not going to be able to build a strong, healthy relationship with a husband, however, if you blame him and resent him for any hardships or frustrations that come into your life. If you really feel like part of you is dying by being with him, then you need to get out.
I know that I could go ANYwhere, and probably be happy, just so long as my husband was there supporting and loving me. Don't settle for less.

2007-03-22 12:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by wnk 5 · 0 0

If you truly love him more then the life you gave up to be with him then marry him......but if you are going to resent him for all the things you gave up then I dont think it's healthy to enter a marriage in that case. You have to be happy with the life you have with him, but also with the life you have outside your marriage. Marriage does not completely define a person, you are still an individual and if you are with someone who truly loves you they should understand what your dreams are and encourage you and allow you to pursue them.

2007-03-20 03:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by JAEB81 2 · 0 0

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