my boyfriend of two years?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years. i am in my senior year in highschool, and he graduated last year. he holds a job and is starting his second semester at community college. he tells me he loves me, but he always seems to be annoyed when i call or text him. he is always busy and he likes to keep his personal life to himself..i dont know what he is thinking. he says he doesnt care about our relationship sometimes, but then y is he in the relationship? is he just afraid to show his feelings or is he getting tired of me?

i admit i can nag sometimes and i like attention, but i dont think im any different from any other guys girlfriends.

Answer 1

And Your Not! From a guys perspective; I can see alot of his' actions mirroring my own in my last relationship... I would say things that were hateful at times, because i was hurting inside. Did it make them right? No. I'd just go through periods where, I needed space, time to myself; to unwind, pray, seek God & just chill.
I remember one day destinctively, in which I was doing just that... chilling & unwinding, up @ the church, & she just kept calling & calling... And I got aggravated with her. Said some things I didn't mean... I still loved her. I just needed some me time... It could be just that in his' case, there is the added stress of balancing all of these things: his' work load, classes & relationship. Does it mean that he cares nothing for you? I don't necessarily think so; I think it's just stressful for him & he's possibly taken on too much of a work load upon himself & has over exerted & over extended himself. In a word; He has depleted himself of calcium. (???)
I'll explain, awhile back... I had this dog, & she became pregnant, she had puppies & in her duties of nursing them she became drained. We found her on the porch one day, hasseling, panting heavily; unable to stand up or even walk. We then called the vet, & over the phone he listened to her & hearing the puppies in the background, he asked me if she were nursing. I said, Yes. So; he said, it sounds to me like she has depleted herself of calcium. He said, Bring her into the office, and I did; he then gave her two shots of calcium; one in the muscle, & the other through the muscle right next to the bone & within seconds, she was able to stand & walk again. We kept the puppies away from her for awhile; 'til she was once again fully strong enough to nurse them again; which she eventually did. Do you understand?
Now; this thing, with your boyfriend? That is another thing entirely different, there is no shot that can be rendered that will remedy this emotional drainage that you both are apparently feeling. My girlfriend @ the time was extremely clingy... needing constant attention; constant affirmation... This I must admit became a little draining on me. I wouldn't read more into it than that; though there may be more to it. That's the uncertainty; I would just offer this, talk to him... share your feelings; your concern & allow him to be the broken one; whether or not he takes it... But at least give him the opportunity. Lastly; give him some space... understand it; & try not to take it as a personal assault or slam against you. Understand his' need to hang with the guys, and be just that. Allow him to be who he is... to be with the guys and take also; for yourself, that same time... And you do the same, do a girl's night thing. But do not cutoff completely your contact & communications with one another, though I would say, back-off a bit. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (An old adage once said.)

Answer 2

i think he is just on a different level then you, college is a lot different than high school, when people say thats its another world they arent lying. He might actually be maturing(i know its hard to think a man isnt acting like a child) and wanting something more in a relationship than the constant nagging and the puppy love thing...so try maturing a little bit and see where that lands the two of you, and if that isnt the problem then i guess he's not into you anymore

Answer 3

Well you said that you nag him,,,,,,and i will guarantee thats the reason he is stand offish. Men HATE to be nagged,especially if he is busy going to school and working. Why not take a step back and let him come to you. Chasing a man drives them away,,,they feel like they are being smothered. If you need to call him all the time and he doesnt bother with you then i would say its time to back off and maybe move on. Hes got alot of things going on at the moment and probably dont have time for a relationship.

Answer 4

You should be able to text him and call him. I do not see the big deal. Maybe you two need to talk about how both of you feel in this relationship....two years is awhile for two young people to be together...i dont know if it was off and on but the point is he isnt being open with you about how he feels... he may want some rom....( not sure....ask him) and nagging is completely normal but not good. I nag my bf all the time...( I know he hates it but he will get over it) my relationship with my bf is really close to the same amount as you but we are alittle older then you two. This does not change the fact that ur bf needs to communicaite about how he feels...what he wants out of this. tr y to give him some room...maybe call only twice in one day,...and see if he returns your call...or something similar in that range. I hope everything works out. Expect the worst and know that you are young and have plenty of time to date. school is more important. God bless.

Answer 5

you're both in a period of transition, so he may just be having difficulty adjusting to having different obligations and responsibilities than he did when y'all first got together. however, nagging (as i know from experience) is probably the worst thing possible for a guy who's trying to figure things out. it makes him either shut you out or do the opposite of what you say. i think you really have 2 options: 1st) quit talking to him about it and let him deal with it in his own time and hopefully he'll come around or 2nd) ask him to sit down with you to have a serious talk and discuss what's bothering you (sometimes its best to have a mental list so you sound logical). try to work something out any misunderstandings and come up with a plan that will make you both happy. if he's not willing to do that, give him the cold shoulder and see how he likes it.

Answer 6

Maybe he is tired of the relationship. He is sending mixed signals...."I love you but there are times I just don't care about this relationship". You have to ask yourself if this is a relationship you want to continue. Sometimes two people can be wonderful, great, kind, nice, loving, fantastic.....just not with each other. Maybe it's time you expanded your horizons and started dating other guys. I think that you will find that there is a lot of great fish out in the sea (so cliche).

Answer 7

If he does not feel enough interest for you or is not inspired by what he feels for you enough to be happy to talk to you (I think the fact that he gets annoyed is disgraceful. This can happen to a couple who is decades into their marriage, but two years' boyfriends?...), then I don't think the relationship is worth it. Ask yourself, really, does he love you? It is easy to say "I love you." These words come and go. But does he show it? Is it true love, or does he just like you because you provide shallow satisfaction (someone who is always there whenever he wants someone to say that she loves him and cares for him and ask him to never leave her... for example.). Ask yourself, really, does he really love you? And ask yourself, really really, do you love him? really really?
If he "likes to keep his personal life to himself," ...well I guess you can't expect him to want to dedicate his life to you taking into account this is a highschool relationship. This isn't a very serious relationship, is it? really really?
i am sorry I just feel this guy isn't worth it. He is young yet (and so are you) and he has not realized the importance of being a good partner to you. He does not hold it in his priorities, which means he is not ready to hold a serious relationship. I really mean serious, like, where he truly deeply cares about you, and doesn't just entertain your love because he likes having a girlfriend. I guess I expect a lot more from a guy. Really, to have a truly satisfying relationship, you need to stop settling for people like him. I am so sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but think it through with a clear mind, with a sober, cold mind, as an outsider. Think about what will happen in your future. Do you think you may have a future together? or has that never even crossed your mind?

... you are both still young, this is a time in his life in which he is trying to figure things out. he is trying to figure his life out, and maybe he needs time to think things out. maybe you aren't his priority (sorry for putting it so bluntly) or maybe he hasn't even prioritized his life at this moment. Like someone said above, it is a transition time. Take it easy, make your studies your priority, and your relationship with him not the most important thing ever (unless you plan to fight for a life with him, you plan to spend the rest of your life with him, and see him making a good father to your children.... which I doubt but I guess it's possbile you've thought this far, just remember to really think, and not let your heart's feelings lead your mind instead of the other way around. i read somewhere: follow your heart's impulses, they are what makes life beautiful, just use your head to regulate them, instead of letting them dicate over you. or something along those lines. i guess i butchered it. the original is more poetic.

Answer 8

He is in college. Odds are he's already IN another relationship right now, so dump him and avoid the pain of being dumped. He deserves it for telling you he doesnt care, if even sporadically. He's only hanging around for the free sex.

Answer 9

Dont worry to much an dtry not to nag cause it gets boring ,go on with your life and stop worrying about his personal life he'll tell you when hes comfortable

Answer 10

Sounds like my situation. A year ago. Now we live together and it seems like he doesn't want me around. If he really thinks this I wish he'd just tell me that we doesn't want to be together anymore so I can live my life and move on.

I hope things eventually work out fo you 2.