I am really depressed... a lot. And I know why, but I can't really do anything about it. See, I am a teenager, and I am a lesbian, and I think I am transsexual, but I'm not sure. I was also sexually molested and sodomized by my older male cousin when I was 12. I am still in therapy for this, and I am going to have to see the cousin again in a month or two after not seeing him since that night. I have to see him, because I am going to have to spend some years in the same school as him starting next year. It was only shortly after that night that I realized my sexual orientation. Now, thinking back, I am not sure if I was predestined to be lesbian and transsexual, and the timing was either a coincidence or the event with my cousin triggered it; or if the thing my cousin did to me caused it entirely. The second possibility makes me feel as if I am living a lie.
I have not been able to bring myself to tell the therapist about my sexual orientation, and my depression from that.
2007-03-19 13:59:47 · 2 answers · asked by Undiscovered 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have not told any adults about my orientation, but some of my close friends know. Only one of the friends knows about what happened to me with my cousin. I have been trying to talk to her about my depression with it all, but it is hard to say.
I also am in love with my best friend. She knows about my orientation, but not the cousin thing. I am also planning on telling her about the thing with my cousin, but I am waiting for the best time. This friend is moving to england after the summer, and I probably will barely get to see her.
Every day I get home from school, go up to my room and lay in my bed sobbing. Today I seriously concidered cutting, but I didn't. This depression has been going on for about half a year now. It is seriously affecting my grades and all around life. I can't usually bring myself to do homework when I am depressed, and I am depressed almost every day. I can't deal with this horrible life any more. What should I do!?
2007-03-19 14:08:44 · update #1
Is there another school you can go to? It doesn't seem like a good idea for you to be in the same area as someone who hurt you in such a big way. I would certainly look into other schooling options if I was in your position. It's a good thing you are seeing a therapist, that is something you should definitely continue with. Do your parents know about your cousin? If not maybe you could tell one of them, and they could make sure you are protected from him. As far as the lesbian/transsexual thing goes, if you feel it is something you are possibly experiencing the desire for due to your cousins actions, you should really try to get the nerve to tell your therapist. They go to school and learn to deal with situations such as the one you're in. Maybe you just are naurally a lesbian, and that's fine too. One way or another you will figure it out as you get older. My best advice for you though is to just try to confide in others you trust, go to them for help. Remember, it will get better. I used to be pretty depressed myself, but with time and help I was able to conquer the feelings, and you will too. Good luck!
2007-03-19 19:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your therapist about *everything.* I've been on both sides of the therapy sessions and the more information you give the therapist, the more they'll be able to help you.
Blessed be,
Sarah
2007-03-19 19:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋