What did you do to help guide her. My daughter is a tomboy and very embarassed by all this and will very relucently talk with me, so I bought her the all American Girl book - The Care and Keeping of you. Any other thoughts or ideas would be wonderful.
2007-03-19 13:45:44 · 17 answers · asked by Petra 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I have given her the book and told her she can read it in private and she can ask me anything, but if she is to embarassed to ask she can write me a little not and I'll write her back. (I've seen her looking at it at night) She is 11 by the way.
2007-03-19 13:57:59 · update #1
We have had a few talks but I did not want to push her or pressure her in any way. She is homeschooled and we are very tight with extended family such as grandmas and aunts all of who have given her the choice to come to them if she needs to. I do hope she chooses to come to me as her mother but I know my family and they love her. I would rather her have too many people to go to than none at all. I was just wondering how other mothers went about dealing with such a sensitive subject with such hormonal people. Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I thought it was for parents with older children
2007-03-19 16:23:17 · update #2
ok...soo i am only 13 but i kinda want to tell u this. right now i am in the middle of puberty and i m a bit tomboyish. it is a very sensitive time. for right now i think you are doing a great job. and she should come to you. just let her know you will be there for her. thats what my mom did. and as she gets farther if she is still really embarassed and resisting have her sit down with and older sib or talk to her doctor. i hope it helps.
2007-03-19 15:01:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started with the book thing, I got it from my physician. But when I asked the teacher why they were watching the sex-ed movie in 4th grade she said because 10 year old girls are getting pregnant. I was shocked. I also realized that I had to cut out the frills, have a frank discussion of the basics and make it clear to my daughter that this would be an ongoing discussion, one I hoped she'd be comfortable having with me---but I also gave her other alternatives, including our family physician and an aunt as resources she could definitely count on. I have had to be the one to initiate the conversation.....as you begin to ask questions about her friends and whether or not they talk about sex you will learn alot. the key is not to react, get emotional or freak out. Call your girlfriends and freak out privately.....the first time you hear your child knows that there was ecstacy at a party she wasn't invited to....or r-rated movies.... or condoms....you will flip.....turn that into gratitutde that she can talk with you. Its a wild ride...but it can be the most gratifying experience of your life. My daughter and her friends come here often. We have had discussions about all sorts of things. We still do (and now she's 20). I dont think the hormone thing and the growing up thing has to be a giant conflict...it was for me and my mom but it has not been for me and my daughter. When she was 14 I put a sign on the refrigerator that said "Hormones Suck". I know thats drastic...but it really took the heat off h er. There were just times she was acting in ways neither one of us understood and she would look at me and one of us would say hormones suck and laugh ( i do not condone other swearing...but this is one of those things....) I hope I have taught her to be gentle with herself, to respect herself and others around her....I have seen her stop, say a prayer and listen to the voice inside her because I have told her how much faith I have in her ability to make a good decision if she just listens to her gut and the things she knows are right... I couldnt be prouder.... I am excited and happy for you and your daughter.... all the best to you both... this is a wonderful time...it will be over before you know it....
OH....dont forget to take care of yourself...your example is the greatest asset you have....dont spare your gym membership for her interest in designer shoes....lol.....
2007-03-19 15:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother got me that book when i was 10. she got her period very early and was afraid i would get the same thing too. It was a very helpful book, so good choice on that. its very general though. i would sit down with her read the book with her one day when you both can denote time and go through chapter by chapeter or just the Big Changes one and read a page and answer questions. no matter how embarrising puberty might be tell her the facts because thats your job. embarrisment lasts a few seconds mistakes last a life time. Sit her down and start from square 1. tell her what she needs to know. its vital that she knows so you can keep her safe.
2007-03-19 14:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by spruded 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your daughter, because I was very shy about this at her age. My advice would be to allow her a lot of space and privacy. Make sure that she has the basic knowledge that she needs, but leave the door open for her to approach you rather than the other way around. My daughter was the exact opposite, she can talk about anything, and we treated her coming into puberty as an opportunity to celebrate her becoming a woman. People are very different, and you need to respect each individual's comfort zone. Good luck.
2007-03-19 13:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by Nanneke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am stuck in the middle of puberty right now- I'm 12 and started at 10. I try to talk to my mom about it but it is awkward. I think you should stay with where you are right now. I have that book too, and it helps. I think you shouldn't push too hard or else she might not want to talk at all. Just give her some space. Puberty is a time of growth and growing up, so she needs to do that.
2007-03-19 14:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by Princessofpie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok, i am not a mother but i do know how it feels. i am actually in that situation right now. i think the best thing to do is give her this website www.beinggirl.com it helped me alot. it's a website where girls just talk. the purpose for this website is to tell girls that they are not the only ones and it helped me very much. so tell her she's not the only one and well you shouldn't be stressing much, after all everybody is going to go through it and she was going to have sooner or later. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-03-20 04:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Leela O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good that she knows she can talk to you about it. Suggestion....if she asks you a question don't give her so much of a answer that it scares her. Just answer her till she understands what she is asking. My 12 yr old stepdaughter who lives with us is also starting puberty she refers to sex as the s word. Her mom talked to her about it and freaked her out so much she doesn't even want to tell her mom anything anymore. The problem is both me and stepdaughter are pms during same time so i am having a problem to try to calm down our fights.
2007-03-20 04:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im going through this with my mother and i am 13 if i was your daughter (im also shy) i would just want you to be upfront with me dont wait for her to talk to you because that wont happen and she will feel awkward not knowing what she should know and the worst thing you can do which most mothers think is the best thing to do is to tell her that you are always here if she needs to talk to you. just tell her what she needs to know and be very upfront and straight forward. and chances are if she says she knows something that you are talking about well... chances are she doesnt know. i wish my mother was upfront with me i would rather her iniciate the conversation which is why i come to this site for all my answers and i know you dont want your mother to do that.
2007-03-19 14:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a mother...sorry, but this is the adolescent section for teens...but I'll answer anyways. I'm 13, not quite yet out of puberty. (Boo-hoo!) Lol! Well when she is comfortable talking about it she'll talk to you. PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO FORCE HER TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK! It is SO embarrassing. But it is good that you have a reltationship like that with your daughter. My mom has never had that kind of relationship with me, and I don't tell her ANYTHING! It's just embarrassing to tell your mom that kind of stuff. It's easier telling your friends, you know? Try to go back to when you were that age. You have to be your daughter's "friend". Go out and do things that she likes to do with her. You'll be like her friend, and she'll be more comfortable with telling you things. I learned it all in school and from books. I have tried asking my mom about that kind of stuff, but she always says, "You'll learn it in school." Don't let your daughter learn it all from school and books! When you think she is ready for the big "talk", then calmly ask her if she would like to go for a walk or something, and casually bring up the subject. If she doesn't want to talk, THEN DON'T! When she says she doesn't want to talk, it really means she doesn't. Don't keep going on and on, because she'll just get really mad. Casually bring up the subect every few weeks or so until she is comfortable talking about it, but don't bring it up everyday or else she'll get real mad, saying, "Why do you try to force this subject on me when I don't want to talk about it!" Just try to be her friend, and it will work out okay.
2007-03-19 14:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
MY MOTHER PURCHASED ME THAT BOOK BUT SHE ALSO TALKED WITH ME .... IT EXPLAINS WHAT HAPPENS WITH A GIRLS BODY BUT IT DOES NOT GO THROUGH THE CHANGES A BOY GOES THROUGH....
GOOD BOOK BUT U SHULD PROBLY TALK TO HER TO
PS I AM 13 SO I GOT THE BOOK AT ABOUT THAT AGE
2007-03-19 16:11:36 · answer #10 · answered by living the life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋