I take care of myself, I am physiclly fit, young and a good wife to my husband. But, he just isn't into sex that much with me anymore. We've been togeher five years now. I try to initiate and spice things up but it only works temporarily. Then we are back into our same old no sex rut. How do you keep the romance alive when only when person is doing the work. I feel if I stop persuing we'd just stop having sex. Why might he no longer be into sex with me ? Is it boredom, if so how do we change, we've only been married five years ?
2007-03-19 13:43:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, it's stress. From personal experience, when I get home from work day in and day out at a thankless job, I just want to crawl in my little cave and be alone. The rut of daily living kills a vibrant sex life. I have to shake myself sometimes to get me out of the rut.
What works for me and maybe you can try it, is when I would go and lay down on our bed to just take a short nap, my wife would come and lay down either next to me really close or climb on top of me while I'm asleep. I'd wake up feeling soft skin next to mine and I'd be "OH WOW you don't have anything on". Worked every time. I'd go to sleep a very happy man and wake up with a smile on my face ready to take on the day.......
2007-03-19 15:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to tell you this one time if you do it you do if you don't then you don't . Dress up sexy but not for him let other men check you out im not talking about naked just take a few buttons down on your blows bend over so slightly to give his Friends a bear let them check out that cleavage it will drive your husband nuts and make him see what you have . Guys are allot like woman they wont what everybody ells wont's .Not only that guys like woman a little on the trashy side that's why they go to strip bars.
2007-03-19 21:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put too much pressure on him. Lots of things affect a man's sex drive and feeling like he "has to perform" may be one of them. Put the emphasis on quality rather than quantity. Men and women see sex differently, women connect it directly to how loved they are so, understandably, you are probably feeling a little neglected. I have a very old friend who arranged a sex ban (mutually) with her husband for two weeks. She says that because he knew she was "off limits" and vice-verse, they were practically ripping each others clothes off after the first week. They still play little games and they've been married for 22 years.
2007-03-19 21:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Scotty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is pretty normal for sex to come to a slowdown after a few years, so don't think it's just you or anything like that. What would probably get him aroused is to start doing things that involve a little "risk of getting caught", like having sex in a tent while camping in a State Park, or going to the beach at night and skinny dipping.
2007-03-19 20:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by Gary D 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are Peg Bundy and he is Al. You are trying all that you can and yet he still isn't interested? Try to take a trip to a lil sex shop and look through different things. Try and see which makes him "light up". If nothing, tell him what makes you, "light up".
If that doesnt work, ask him whats the problem because you feel like you aren't connecting.
Hope that helps.
2007-03-19 20:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by Just A Newbie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find out what is on his mind. In most cases sex drive is lost not due to being not attracted to the other but is caused from stress. Try to find out what stresses are on his plate, listen to what he doesn't say (Most men wont talk about their problems) and follow your gut instinct as to what you think is wrong. If you feel attractive and sexy then he will find you sexy and it most probably isn't you. Good luck
2007-03-19 20:52:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow did i just write that? ive been married 5 years and it sounds exactly like us. strange. im curious to hear your answers. at least you know you are not alone. it makes me so mad that when we finally do, i am so stressed out about hoping i will have the big O that i cant do it. I have tried everything, and the only thing so far that works is if I overdress just a little, skirt, tights, knee high boots, and we just go to the grocery store. making him jealous seems to work rather well even though its mean.
2007-03-19 20:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i agree with those who said that you should make him jealous. if hes not paying attention to you anymore; make sure he notices others still do. dont go all whorish or anything. just wear shorter skirts, longer boots, skimpier tops, etc. dress up like this when you both go out together; shopping, out to dinner, running errends, and exspecially if your going to a place where his guy friends will be. once he realizes how hot you are to others hopefully he'll remeber what hes got and pay attention.
2007-03-19 21:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out dancing or to dinner once a week, or some activity to get you out of the house. then when at dancing dance real close or do something to make him turned on, and then go back home and have sex.
you could also try lingerie and sex toys, and/or do something that makes him horney, flirt with him, oral sex or hand job
2007-03-19 20:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sammy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start developing some outside interests, this will make you seem new and fresh to him. Also it wouldn't hurt for him to feel a twinge of jealousy, that usually revs up desire!
2007-03-19 20:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. CoCo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋