Why does my 13 year old daughter lip off so much and act disrespectful.?

Question

I have given her what she needs in life.. as well as religious exposure.. I show others gratutude and say please and thankyou to her.. and still she is totally self absorbed..
I grew up in a house wher emy parents where not around so much.. not so much love was shown and I vowed to be here for my children as much as possible.. love them and listen them..
and allI get from her is disrespect..
I am more so than other parents in favor of not giving into their every whim so it cant be that I giver her too much..
HELP>>>

Answer 1

Short answer...consequences. If she doesn't improve her attitude of her mouth..if she doesn't appreciate what she has..then she has nothing. Restrict the phone, restrict friends, it will be hard at first but once she realizes that you are going to be consistent, and she she isn't entitled to anything more than the bare essentials...she should straighten out. Though, I warn you, once you start this..it will get worse before it gets better. Just hang tough..and it will lessen. GL!

Answer 2

Your Daughter is 13 which means she is going through the same thing that most teens go through. Right now in her mind you dont understand anything about her or her life and so of course she's going to act disrepectful, despite the fact that you've raised her with good morals and values. I too was raised in a Christian home but believe me.........I was one mouthy little brat for about 5 years!!! Continue to love her and be there for her while letting her know that her disrespect will not be tolerated. Set bounderies and when she crosses them follow up with a consequense, sooner or later she'll understand that she needs to chill out! I gave my Mom every gray hair on her head but I grew up and now I love my mother more then anything.....Your Daughter will someday have a moment when she realizes that she is Blessed to have such a great Mom and it will be in that moment that she will wrap her arms around you and thank you for being there through this difficult stage in her life. God Bless and hang in there.

Answer 3

i think it's not your fault, the teenage years are the most confusing stage in one's life, this is the time that one is trying to find one's own identify, she has basically her genetic factor that tell who she is but she also have the environmental factor, everything around her, her surrounding conditions, her neighborhood where she grew up, her friends, her constant peers or people who influence her alot aside from parents, these are all in her mind, she's in the middle, not being a child anymore but not much of an adult either, she wants to be independent, but still has to depend so much on so many things, confused ...?!... that's the point.... i guess there's no perfect answer, but from my experience and advice, if you have been a good mother and taught her all the right values and every small stuff they need to know.... try to give her a little bit of freedom, some space to be alone, a little independence.......I know it's hard but ....Add to that, it's time to show a little bit of trust on your part ........and most of all if you believe .....Always pray and allow God's will be done !

Answer 4

She is at the age where she just wants to be independant. Of course, she is nowhere near being able to fend for herself in life, but she enjoys feeling that way. Because of this, she is most likely furious that you keep trying to interfere and take on your role as the mother, who is the ultimate decision maker and guardian. She wants you to realize that she is growing up. This is natural, but she still needs to learn that you must be treated with respect. Would she holler or lip off at her friends? Most likely not. She is simply taking advantage of you.

Let your daughter know that you understand that she is growing up, but she needs to be polite to you. If she treats you with unlimited respect, then you will treat her the same way. You get what you give, after all. If she refuses to treat you with respect, inform her that you have lost some of your respect for her and along with that loss, she will be losing a privelege. For example, if she tends to spend a lot of time chatting on the phone at night, tell her that the phone is now off-limits until she can gain her respect for you again. At first, this may be tricky and your daughter may be angry. Don't worry; after a short while, she will realize that you are being consistent and she will need to shape up if she is planning on having the priveleges she wants. Tell her that if she can respect you, she will deserve these priveleges.

If this fails, put up a "respect chart" on your fridge, or in a place that your daughter will not easily miss it. For everything she does that is disrespectful to you, add an X. For every two X's, remove a privelege and add a chore. For example, remove her privelege to go anywhere with her friends and give her the chore of vacuuming the living room instead. She will soon learn that she prefers her priveleges over her chores, and will work harder in order to avoid this. Another benefit of having this chart is that she will be rather embarrassed to have it up there where it is visible. She will want to have it taken down immediately. Only take the respect chart out when you feel it needs to be out. Do not have it out all of the time, or it may lose its effect.

You are not a bad mother, nor is your daughter a bad daughter. You just need to continue to be loving and caring, and teaching your daughter the benefits of respect. She will, in time, learn that you play an important role in her life. You always have, and you always will.

Wish you the best!

Answer 5

check out her frfiends. I knew two girls that were best friends at church, all their lives, and when they got to junior high one started hanging out with a bad crowd and became the sassiest little thing! SHe was getting into a lot worse stuff too.

If all shes doing is that, its because she's 13. But make sure you keep an eye on anything else she could be doing. But still like everyone said

she's a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL!

Answer 6

she is doing it because you ALLOW her to.
talk to her calmly at a quiet time and tell her that if she does it again you will start taking away her "things". kids hate to have their things taken away. EVERY TIME she acts in a manner that you do not approve of, take something. then if she wants something back she has to earn it back. if she mouths off to you, for instance, she will have to vacuum the floors, etc.
I'm sure you get my drift. this really does work!!!
but you must be consistent with the discipline. going to church will not cure a bad attitude as much as you would like to think it does.
in short, if your daughter is acting like a brat, treat her like one!

Answer 7

She needs consistant consequences when she mouths off. Sometimes a child needs a firm authority more than a friend.

Answer 8

Take EVERYTHING AWAY. Make her earn priviliges. You know a phone is everything to a 13 yr old. Tell her until she changes she gets nothing, no more name brand blothes , NOTHING.

I took my sons name brands away, one friday, and gave him things i found at goodwill, ( the ugliest i could find) hid his stuff. Let me tell you by Sunday he had a better attitude, everything was yes, maam, Im sorry Maam, I love you mom. I gave him a taste of what nothing was............. he decied his life was pretty good after all. LOL So I gave his stuff back. Never acted like that again. Hes now 15 and when I say No he says Yes maam.

Answer 9

Because she's 13.

Sorry, but that's completely normal. Just because you didn't act that way doesn't make it any less normal.

Rather than being condescending toward her or yelling or punishing, try talking to her about her needs. Perhaps she feels smothered, or maybe there's a problem at school or with friends. Tell her you want to give her space but you won't tolerate disrespect and could she please discuss with you how she feels so you can alter your behavior. She should appreciate the fact that you want her input.

Answer 10

That's how teenagers are. They mouth off to their parents when they have hormones raging through their bodies.