this poem isnt done and doesent have a title, yet
Humanity is one you may fear
and can easily cause a tear
There all insane
in different minds
opinion is based on one selfish mind
on one selfish mind
Some miss there call
causing a life to fall
There is no ONE leader
just an individual for each jugement
We are all based on each others opinions
causing wrong in this world we share
2007-03-19 12:58:30 · 6 answers · asked by Scarlet 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
screwed up on the one selfish mind part, sorry
2007-03-19 14:02:34 · update #1
It sounds as if you're working it through, but you have nothing to be angry about which in its self is not negative. It has a cool factual feel about it.
'Humanity is one you may fear
and can easily cause a tear'
true
'There all insane
in different minds'
they're all insane? on second thought 'there' seems to work as a gesture to presence. The concept 'insane' could be expanded and differentiated.
'opinion is based on one selfish mind
on one selfish mind'
one selfish mind upon an other? interesting.
'Some miss there call
causing a life to fall'
some miss their call, letting life to fail
don't collect 200 dollars and go to jail
'There is no ONE leader
just an individual for each judgment'
interpretation: leadership in example is universal.
'We are all based on each others opinions
causing wrong in this world we share'
we are reduced to negative reflections for each other. The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative.
ps don't forget check spelling at top of box outside on right
2007-03-19 13:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by Psyengine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Why do you say you messed up on one selfish mind. To me you are right. An opinion is one selfish mind. Each one of us has an opinion on this or that and each of us thinks ours is the right one. the last line should read we are all biased in our own opinions causing wrong in this world we share. Your doing a good job. Keep going with it.
2007-03-19 21:40:19 · answer #2 · answered by tonal9nagual 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice attempt... defiantly some poetic flaws but who ever got famous by conforming to the mold... keep it up I'm sure that if you truly enjoy poetry it will get better who knows... the next Emily Dickinson... maybe?
2007-03-19 20:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by iamjustbored10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I especially like the last two lines. You have intuited that humans' misunderstanding of the real nature of their existence and the truth of reality, generally, may well lead to the destruction of the species. :))
2007-03-19 21:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A weak and unpoetic attempt to show how stupid people are with a bunch of horrible grammar. No offense.
2007-03-19 20:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by shmux 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nice, and very true. i like it.
2007-03-19 20:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by Gary j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋