We tried to raise a stable, interesting child. He is 19 now and wants to have nothing to do with us. He is depressed and confused. We are not overbearing, have given support, opportunities, love... He's ready to "be free", and he is old enough. But Mom's heart is broken, I hurt when he hurts, and I feel like a part of me is gone. I know I'll get over it, but I am overwhelmed with pain, like a bear losing it's cub. Support?
2007-03-19 12:56:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Being a mother is not a "job": it's a freely chosen condition of servitude to an ungrateful, needy kid. A job is what earns money and pays the bills, not giving junior his juice box.
2007-03-19 13:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Hugh Jardon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S TIME TO LET YOUR BIRD FLY!
No one ever gets over losing a child who fly from a loving home.
But take heart, he'll be back and you'll developer a new relationship, called friendship!
Hope that helps you because as a parent myself I know how you only want the best for them, and would sacrifice your soul for there well being.
You really must have been a good mother and I will keep a good thought about you!
I hope I can do the same as you can, we got 8 children here,
We adopted four boy , all from one side of family or the other, trying to finalize the 5th,a little girl who is my wife half sister through and affair she had and her husband wont accept the child because it's not his and told her to get rid of it or he would get rid of her! We are raising two 16, 12 of wifes nieces who's sister decided to take up bank robbing with her boyfriend and now is doing 15 years to life in prison! My nephew 14 in may( I think) who mother decided to have a swing party with son present and now has law trouble of her one and a "C felony" for lewd and indecent exposure in front of a minor! It's been really troubling with the those three because all of them got a real raw deal, and were the one who are trying to make a better life for them, and no family support, but truth be told we DON'T want there support either,
I hope I can be the parent that you seem to have been with your son!
BY THE WAY ANY ADVISE YOU CAN SPARE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED !
2007-03-19 13:19:12 · answer #2 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so right! Being a mom is the hardest job that any one will ever have to take on. Like you I tried everything in my power to do all the right things to raise a good kid. I was there through everything in his life good & bad. for a time he was really depressed & seemed like he wanted nothing to do with anyone really ,but he will turn 20 soon & he is slowly coming around .He lives in another province now but we talk everyday & he is now sensilbe to me .He even said I am the one he misses more then anyone of his friends! Unfortunately we had to go through all the rough spots first & maybe we are not finished ,but thats ok because as Moms no matter what we will always be there for them.
I know you are feeling lost but trust me separation sometimes in cases like ours is a good thing . He will never forget who stood by him & someday hopefully sooner then later he will show you that. Trust me on this one you can do it ! each day it will get a bit better & you will become a bit stronger, You have to remember if you fall apart that will make the situation worse. Sounds to me like you are the same type of Mom as me & our boys are number one in our hearts, but we have to look after ourselves as well ! Take care & try to start tommorrow with a smile.. just a small one even
2007-03-19 13:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I continue to be in a state of confusion. I was a very good parent to my 3 daughters. My best friend was out coking every week end, drinking beer hidden in kitchen cabinets as she cooked supper. I worked more hours than her & took care of here kids, taking them to & from school,'cause Mommy's not feeling well. Her kid are just crazy for her. They LOVE her, as mine couldn't care less what I do now. I often wounder if I'd of stayed in the bar like her, if my kids would love me as much as hers do. I've seen the worse parents have the greatest kids & the best parents have some real loosers. It's the luck of the draw some times. I'm still wondering... don't blame you & your wife, you gave your kids the right information, they chose not to use it. Nothing to feel guilty about. Mine at 35 & 30 are just now realizing that I wasn't as bad of parent as a lot of others. Chin Up!
2007-03-19 13:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, do I know how you feel! I faced the empty nest a year and a half ago. I knew my son was more than ready to leave home and go to college; and he's done wonderfully. I knew it was time for me to let him fly - and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done! There are still days I miss him so much! I try to just be proud of his accomplishments, and be happy I did my job raising a strong, able, intelligent young man. Good luck to you.
2007-03-19 13:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, can I come live in your house?
When I turned 18; my parents, it was GET OUT!
My wife was also 18, and her parents, it was GET OUT!
So we both got married, to survive.
With the high cost of today's world; let him go out and "be free." Once he get's a taste of how hard it is to live, he will be back home!! Just leave the door open for him.
His attitude is from fear of growing up. My son is 15 and has the same "let me be free" attitude. I told him; here is the door, good luck!! He is still home with us...
Hope this helps.
2007-03-19 13:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to realize that he understands that you are not going to be around forever - let him be. he will be find - you can't be there to hold his hand every step of the way. let him grow up. don't beat yourself up over this!!
2007-03-19 13:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by goddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.
try being his father, no way
2007-03-19 13:03:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋