I have been battling with my husband's past relationship for the past couple of years. When I was dating him, there were loads of traces of the ex-gf still in the house, from pictures to furniture. Just recently, I discovered that the house was both under their names, and that they lived together in other various houses - details he failed to mention to me when we were dating. Also, he admitted that he searched her name on google and youtube to find out how the ex was doing.
3yrs later, he still has her pictures and some of her items stashed in our garage. All these years, I felt that the ex was some invicible person still living with us and it wasn't til I blew up in rage that he decided to eliminate all the items in the house that reminded him of her.
Do you think my hubby never got over his ex? Please advise. I know this is the past, but why did it take him years to realize that he had to let go of the mementos? I also don't understand why he's still curious about her?
2007-03-19 12:44:12 · 9 answers · asked by phoenix_rising_28 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think all of us has one person that we just cant forget.
Its a part of life. However, its a little strange to have her things there still and hanging onto everything that was her.
I have a shoe box that contains little things of my past. Nothing major, movie tickets, a bracelet, b-day cards etc.) that kinda thing. I dont ever really think about it, but after a break up, i always keep a little something that reminds me of them. Not because i still want to be with them, but to remind me of a particular fun time in my life or something. I dont know.
But, i dont dwell on any of it, and i dont look them up on the internet while in a relationship. Thats just wrong and disrespectful to u.
Hubby apparently has moved forward, as he has married u, but u did the right thing by making him get rid of some of that stuff. One thing would have been ok with me, but from the sound of it, she was everywhere still. Gees.
Good luck to u hun.
2007-03-19 13:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just not men but women also have a hard time getting past the ex, I would think if he still had those things after 3 years he still feels something for her, but to google her name is a red flag. After this amount of time she should be behind him and this doesn't seem to the be the case with him. Sometimes the past isn't the past it is the present, for some letting go isn't easy if they loved this person. He's curious because of feelings, he can use any excuse he wants but being curious after this amount of time isn't normal.
2007-03-19 12:52:14 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i might say no. yet all people is diverse. i understand that I extremely have a extra sturdy time letting go then the adult men that ive dated in the previous. Im finally getting over my love of 9 years in the past. i'm specific that he's plenty over me . He have been given married 6 months as quickly as we broke up. and we've been at the same time 4 long years. go parent huh
2016-10-02 10:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually holding on to momentos is a sign that one is having a hard time letting go. My first love passed away and I can't get rid of pictures and jewelry that he gave me. I love my husband dearly, but this first love is no longer living and what we shared was special when we shared it, so I feel entitled to keep the items that remain of that special era, however, I keep that secret hidden from everyone.
2007-03-19 13:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he still loves her and wishes they never broke up- the signs were clear when you started dating him if he had loads of traces around the house. Maybe you need some marriage counseling to sort this out. It doesn't sounds like a stable situation.
2007-03-19 12:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
guys always keep at least one momento of the best bang ever sorry but true..if he gets rid of then he is banging the new number one..have you tried tightening exercises,aerobics,yoga.gymnastics or a facelift...all cr*p but just relax and enjoy he is with you and are his world you have nothing to worry about
2007-03-19 14:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh - why would you make someone get rid of things from their past? You are trying to delete it, like it never happened?
How awful for him! Would you like to have a few years of your past just erased like that?
If you are in a committed, loving relationship with this man, what have you got to fear from the past? Look to the future with him.
I think you were very wrong to demand that he destroy those items. I would NEVER ask anyone to delete a part of themselves.
2007-03-19 12:48:47 · answer #7 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You can make him throw everything away, but you will never wipe out the memories he has. Has he tried erasing memories you have?
2007-03-19 14:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no there must be something that he likes or she would not be still there.Seems if she is not there in person i wouldn't push the issue.Or you may end up in the garage with her.
2007-03-19 12:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋