Sleet like snow and rain
rapidly falling to ground
making slippery roads
2007-03-19 12:39:16 · 15 answers · asked by xcrunner_2009 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
plez answer honestly
2007-03-19 12:41:32 · update #1
im a 10th grader
2007-03-19 12:44:07 · update #2
CAN SOME PEOPLE MODIFY THIS SO THAT IT IS A BETTER HAIKU BUT DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT OF IT????????
2007-03-19 12:53:23 · update #3
I'd give it a B-, maybe C+. "Rapidly Falling to Ground" is awkward, like you're trying to force your wording into 7 syllables; and "Making Slippery Roads" is also forcing "slippery" into two syllables. And this has zero poetic meaning - it's more a science lesson for kindergartners.
Definitely a C+.
2007-03-19 12:55:13 · answer #1 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give it an A if you made the following changes:
Sleet like snow and rain
rapidly falling to ground
makes slippery roads
the last sentence had too many syllables
nice haiku by the way
2007-03-19 14:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by gamma_wave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, haikus are 5-7-5, NOT 5-7-6. I'd try and find a 2-syllable synonym to "slippery". Like "slippy", which is only a word if your from Pittsburgh.
Unless you change it so that it's modeled correctly, i'd give it a C.
And for another thing, what kind of school are you in that's making 10th graders write haiku (haikus?) like they're a big deal?
2007-03-19 12:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jeet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, it depends on the grade. That would get an A or a B until you hit college. The Haiku relies on imagery. Try to tell us with metaphors rather than just saying what's going on outright. The second line needs help in that respect. Nice work though my friend, 17 syllables can be tough.
2007-03-19 12:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
B+, A-
I don't reallylike the second line "rapidly falling to ground". I know that there can only be 7 syllables but you should somehow change it. "The" is really needed before "ground" in my opinion. It might be just a little awkward how it ends like kind of abruptly- like you expect something different. But its alright. :) Not bad at all. :)
2007-03-19 12:47:06 · answer #5 · answered by Diamond 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B minus. It's too much of a statement or a weather forcast. It would get a better grade if it were more like a story or was more deep and poetic. But hey, a B minus isn't so bad.
2007-03-19 12:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by swishyvt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your older than 13 it stinks but if not a b+
2007-03-19 12:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by KATIE T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a
2007-03-19 12:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
B+
it's good, i mean it follows the rules and all but
it just kinda... eh. its not that special.
2007-03-19 12:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A, I like it
2007-03-19 12:45:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋