I can't stop thinking about this woman - what should I do?

Question

She is gorgeous, whenever I see her I can't look away. I can't not listen to her voice. Her skin, her eyes, wow. I'm completely smitten. The last time I saw her I found out she has the same birthday as I do! The problem is - she is married - as am I.

It's not like I go looking for her but we frequently cross paths. I don't want to think about her this way - I wish I didn't feel the way I do. Will it just go away over time? Should I tell someone about it? Should I talk to her? What would you do?

Answer 1

This is what i can offer you from experience.. when you see this woman,hear this woman, whatever.. you have an infatuation, you don't know anything about her on a deep level.. she may be blissfully happy in her marriage.. are you.. think about your wife and how you envisioned her like that at one time.. Ask yourself what you have to gain and are you willing to risk losing what you have... if the answer is no then keep moving.. please.. i know that sometimes we can get bored with the day to day but i can tell you i learned the hard way from the same situation buddy (of course i had a "crush" on a man, in the long run when i made the mistake of crossing a line.. there was no going back, i hurt my husband and i was lucky to be forgiven and given that second chance and i regret every day now going there because I'm right where I've always been.. and now theres this ugly thing there thats sits on shelf that i wish i could take down and toss out and i cant.. point is.. if you love your wife and your happy, stick to the fantasy and enjoy your reality.. really.. the grass isn't always greener on the other side, and if your not happy figure out why and be honest and work on fixing it or work that out first .. you didnt add that you intended to take this somewhere or not if she was par for the game.. i think if you leave it alone it will wane, ive had crushes than im over it.. truly.

Answer 2

Dude, we're all attracted to various people throughout our lives. "Right" or "wrong" comes in when you decide what to do about it.

Talk to her? And say what? "Hi, I'm infatuated with you, so why don't you leave your husband, or just come into the coat closet for a quickie?" How do you picture this conversation going in the real world?

Tell someone? Who? Nobody, unless it's a qualified therapist. See, you tell anyone else and it gets out (and it will), you've put you, and her, in an impossible position.

That said, forgive yourself for feeling the way you do. Fantasize, if you can keep it under control, but do keep it under control and to yourself. Also, understand that she is accidentally teaching you something about yourself - what you want in a woman - so you'll recognize it when The One comes along - the one who has some of the traits of your dream girl, but, and this is critical, IS AVAILABLE. Analyze what it is you like about Dream Girl and you'll know The One when she comes along.

Bless Dream Girl for teaching you about this (in your mind, for heaven's sake - don't SAY it!), and bless yourself for not being the creepy crud who even flirted with trying to get her to break her marriage vows.

Answer 3

How do you know she thinks of you in the same way?

You can't have a one sided relationship dude. You'll always run across fabulous looking women, and women will be smitten with hunks. What separates us from animals is a mortgage payment, kid's college, and divorce court.

Think about it dude.

Answer 4

Being that your both married, admire from afar! no you should not talk to her, because that would make you want more, and that is not a good idea!

Answer 5

you should compliment her as to satisfy yourself and what you desire but not being intrusive on either marriage and she should be flattered you seem like a genuinely sweet person.

Good Luck