If you are unsure should you definitely wait?

Question

If you are unsure about whether to divorce or not should you wait to see if you ever get to the point where there's no doubt at all that it's the right thing to do? Or is divorce a decision that will always bring alot of doubt?

Answer 1

MY "rule of thumb" is....When in doubt, don't! If you have doubts then , no , don't! You'll KNOW when you're ready!

Answer 2

If I was unsure about getting a divorce, I would seek out some therapy. It is a very serious decision that you obviously aren't taking lightly. For some there may be doubt. I have never been there myself, but I would not make a decision like that without doing what I could to make things better first. I think if things are hopeless, you will feel a little more secure about your decision. I doubt it will ever be an easy one to make though.

Answer 3

Yes, there is always doubts when you think about divorce. It's one of the most major decisions you will ever make about your life. There's probably a small part of yourself that holds out hope that your marriage can be worked out. If you have kids that throws even more doubt into it. Just give yourself time and space to make the decision on whether or not to end your marriage. Best of luck.

Answer 4

You will always wonder if tomorrow will bring a happier time and rescue all. You just need to decide if youre better off with or without your spouse and then go from there. We dont have immediate answers to our questions so we always doubt our actions, or if they were enough or the right thing to do. As adults, we must live with our decisions, right or wrong, learn from them and move on. Divorce is a change and it a change that scares the hell out of most of us, so therefore it will always be a questionable action. Good luck

Answer 5

If you are having doubts then wait and think about things before doing so. Do all you can to try to make the marriage work if at all possible. your marriage is worth it. Divorce should be the last resort. Try to work it out before deciding to divorce ever.Yes divorce will always bring alot of doubt but that is because it ususally is not the right thing to do.

Answer 6

Here is what I got from MortFertel.com when I signed up for email tips....

One of the questions I'm most frequently asked
is, "How do you know when it's time to quit?"

In terms of when to give up on your marriage,
here's what I recommend.

If divorcing is a consideration for you from a
moral perspective, then before you go that route,
try first for at least one year.

did you hear that?

Try for at least one year!

And I mean REALLY try. You can always call it
quits. You always have that option. But once you
pull that trigger, it's over. No more chances.
Your life will never be the same. Do you have
kids? If you do, their life will never be the
same.

If you end your marriage, you don't want there to
be a shred of doubt in your mind. You don't ever
want to look back and wonder if things could have
been different. You don't want to ask yourself,
"What if this...and what if that...what if I tried
this...what if I did that?"

If you have to end your marriage, you want to
know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything
you could to make it work.

If you have to end it, you want to be able to
move on with your life and into another
relationship with a clear head. You want to come
to a place of healthy "closure." THIS IS
CRUCIAL! And to accomplish this, in my
experience, it takes at least one year. I know it
probably seems like a long time, but it's an
investment in the rest of your life.

here's the key point. Listen
carefully. It's a good investment for the rest of
your life WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE SUCCEEDS OR NOT.
Obviously, it's a good investment if you turn
your marriage around. But if you don't, it will
NOT have been a wasted year. It will have been
the most important thing you could have done with
that year because of how your effort will impact
the rest of your life AND (if it comes to this)
YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.

I have seen too many cases of spouses ending
their marriage prematurely, and as result of not
reaching "closure" in one relationship, they
find themselves in the same situation a few years
later with someone else.

In private sessions with people, sometimes the
progress I help them make turns out to be more
beneficial for them in their next relationship
than in their current one.

Answer 7

Divorce ios always a skechy thing. You never know if it is the right thing or not until after.

It took me almost a year to realize that my divorce is the best thing that could have happened to me because the woman that I thought I married is not. She ended up cheating on me many times during our marriage and I looked the other way because of how I felt.

Sometimes things can't be worked out taking a good person out of a bad situation is the best thing to do.

Answer 8

Boy - I sure wish I knew more about the details.

However I will give you this to do with as you will.

My wife and I married young. We had no plans or dreams, but we had each other. We faced ten years of the most horrendous challenges you can imagine, addictions, finance problems, living with mothers, you name it. We had a very very hard time and it would have been so much easier to just leave - to just divorce each other.

But we didn't because we're both very stubborn. As a result of not giving up, nineteen years of marriage later we are so happy that it is almost criminal. We love each other and accept each other for who we are. Our lives are rich and growing constantly. And for the record we don't have any children.

So think HARD before you take this step.

FP

Answer 9

I wouldn't even breakup with a woman I wasn't married to if I wasn't sure. It's something that once it is said, the end soon follows... whether or not you are sure. The relationship will never be the same once those words are uttered. It's much better to go to the root of the problem than it is to speculate about ways to deal with the lack of emotional and rational integrity you are experiencing. Somehow, you need to get your rational mind, actions and emotions back on the same page, so you need to figure out what is really wrong.

Answer 10

Wait. While you are waiting, you OR you and your husband should definitely go to marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can work wonders. Even if it doesn't save the marriage, it will help both you and your husband even in your day to day lives. Alot of people go to counseling even if they don't have a problem in their marriage. They go to avoid problems in the future. Only use divorce as a last resort. Make a serious effort to save your marriage first. Good luck.

Answer 11

You will always have doubts. Its a scary thing but if you are unhappy I highly recommend it. I was so unhappy for years and was very scared to divorce, but it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. good luck.