And living in Utah, that makes me an old maid. Now I know better, but being reassured that I don't have to freak out would help me. This culture is killing me and making me question my desirability and sanity!!! I've been proposed to a few times, but I don't want to just pick ANYBODY! It's all good, right?
2007-03-19 11:45:50 · 30 answers · asked by emmie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out of Utah. That may sound flippant, but it's not. If the culture is stifling you, go somewhere else.
And good for you, you SHOULD NOT marry just "anybody!" For heaven's sake, you marry the man you love, the man you want to spend forever with, the man who loves you back in the same way.
It took lo-o-onger than 25 years for my Mr. Perfect to come along, but I sure am glad I waited! Had I been tied to someone else in a less-satisfactory relationship...gosh, the idea makes me sad.
Just be you, wonderful you, and your own Mr. Perfect will spot you...and sweep you off your feet!
2007-03-19 11:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by katbyrd41 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the first answerer - you are a smart girl. It's Utah that's wrong, not you. Believe me, marriage to the wrong man is a terrible experience to go through. I've been through it and I regret it bitterly. I would rather be 40 or even 50 and never married, than in my twenties and married to someone I don't love or who doesn't really love me, or divorced.
You are right not to settle for just anyone. Marriage may once have been the only career open to a woman, but that's not the case any more, and marrying someone because they seem "suitable" is a recipe for misery for you, him, and any children you might have. Stay single until you meet someone you desperately WANT to marry. I am sure it will happen although I suspect broadening your horizons might help, so you might want to think of moving out of Utah for a few years to get some experience of a different culture.
2007-03-19 19:13:50 · answer #2 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the reason your feeling like that is the female biological clock is starting to tick. Between the ages of 25 to 30 is when most women want children. If you turned men down for marriage they just were not the ones but he's out there somewhere waiting for you and you will know when it's right. But don't freak out you have time and don't settle for just anyone you wil regret it. Besides most women are waiting to marry and have kids later in life when there more stable and have done some of the things they want to do in life.
2007-03-19 19:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm turning 25 on April 19th and I have the same problem, although my situation may be a bit different from yours? I live in CT which is probably considered more liberal than UT, and I am a lesbian, so looking for that special someone has been harder for me than it might be for most. But I wish you the best of luck in finding that special someone, and REMEMBER: THERE IS NO RUSH! I know how it feels when everyone around you is pressuring you to settle down. But BELIEVE ME, taking the time to explore who you are as a person, your relationships with your friends and family, your own hobbies and interests, etc. before rushing into a relationship that is not the best fit for you will save you a lot of heartache -- and tissues! in the long run! ;)
peace and luv! : -*
Sari
2007-03-23 14:17:31 · answer #4 · answered by xvxsariexvx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm more than twice your age; but, I can remember what if felt like to think that I had missed the boat somehow. Believe me, you are doing the right thing. With the benefit of my age and experience, I'd say it doesn't matter if you find the right mate at 20 or 50 - but, it does matter that you find the RIGHT mate. If you choose the wrong one, the rest of your life could feel like eternity (the unpleasant variety). With the right mate, your life can be a joyful experience. You sound as if you are definitely on the right track (with an occasional doubt), so don't get off track. Go ahead and cultivate your interests - that makes you all the more interesting and will attract the kind of person that is also attractive to you. Celebrate (and I mean celebrate) your 25th birthday with those you like to be with!
2007-03-19 19:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by lockheadone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's all good! 25 is still young. You are, by no stretch of the imagination, an old maid! You're very smart to wait for the right man. Get your education, your career established, and become financially independent, and then worry about marriage. If the right guy comes along somewhere in all of that, great, but keep working toward your goal. Your relationship will be stronger for it. Best wishes to you!
2007-03-19 18:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have plenty of years to marry. Twenty-five would be the min. age I would recommend. I understand why young marriage is promoted in Utah but that is not the way it is everywhere else. Perhaps you should consider moving to another state to get away from the culture in which you live.
Good luck.
2007-03-19 18:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Utah, eh? You know, the lowe the level of education the lower the age of marriage, and child bearing, and the more financial trouble down the line.
Be yourself, don't EVER get married because you feel like you ought to, and stay cool. If you want to, you will, and you'll be glad you waited.
2007-03-20 15:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Year of the Monkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong in being 25 and not married. You just haven't met the right person yet. My son is 35 and still not married and my daughter is 29 and has no boyfriend.
2007-03-19 18:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey emmie,
Have fun, and don't start to worry about it for another four years or so. Meanwhile, change wherever it is you hang out and try to meet a better class of guys. You must have an idea of what your soul mate will be like. Well, go to where you can meet some people like that!
Good luck!
2007-03-19 19:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by Husker41 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋