Has anyone done this before with their ex?

Question

We have been friends for over 20 years and dated off and on our entire young adult life. We married 5 years ago and had a Son but divorced one year later. We were both very stubborn and selfish and unwilling to make changes to make our marriage work. We went through the typical hate, anger, and dissappointment that comes swith divorce but we are both now much more mature. We have a WONDERFUL relationship with each other and are now best of friends again however, we have slept together a couuple of times in the the last few months. I know, I know, it's a terrible thing to do. It's just that we have a connection and I still think I'm in love with him and he has said the same to me. Are there any success stories out there in this situation. Please don't pass judgement...

Additional Details

3 hours ago
okay, to those of you who think I'm a horrible person I can understand but I'm not looking for judgement from the 2nd wives out there who are appalled at the thought of their husband reconciling with his ex wife, just looking for an answer as to what the **** can I be thinking. Maybe I should have added that my ex and his now wife were co-workers and she was conveniently a shoulder for him to cry on in the early stages of the seperation. We had no chance of reconciling then as she moved herself into our house within a couple of months of seperating. I'm not looking for justification here, just heart broken and confused.

2 hours ago
as to the "****" comment, We have been divorced for 3 years and I have not slept with another man since. Don't get me wrong, I am a very attractive successful woman with plenty of opportunity to "****" around but sex has ALWAYS been something that I've never entered into (no pun intended) lightly. I've NEVER had sex outside of a committed relastionship until now. Not a ****, just someone who knows she made huge mistakes in a marriage in love with someone who admits he made huge mmistakes.

Answer 1

My honest advice.....it will NEVER work! Yes, you get sex every now and then....leftovers, if you please. SHE gets the good stuff, you get the crumbs.....Are you willing to settle for that for the rest of your life? If you had moved on in the beginning, he would now be a non-factor. Move on now....better late than not at all!

Answer 2

It doesn't matter why he married the woman he's with, the point is still valid that he's married. If he really loves you and you love him, then he needs to get out of what he's in before you two conjure up a relationship or sleep with each other. He's basically, STILL being a cheater. Only this time it's to the other gal, not you. If he did it to you with her, then to her with you, what makes you think he won't do it to you again later? I'm sorry, but it's a messy situation. I'm not judging you, but I think it would be wise to consider everything in this situation. Any man that will sleep with another woman when there's a band on his finger to remind him that he's taken is a man to be avoided. (Unless you like being hurt.)

Answer 3

Are you saying he has a wife now, somebody you use to talk to? And you still love this man. Girl I am the one person who don't like cheaters but after reading your story If you can and he willing to go back to you I would get my man back. It's not like your the "other women" you where first. So F her and get your man. And don't care about others it's your life. And raise your son together. But I hate to say this, it's more then likely he not going to leave this other women and if he did it won't be for a long time and if he doe's he might play that back in forth staff. A few months with you and a month with her and back to you. If that was to happen it's up to you to stop that. But am telling you don't get your hopes up. Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has a really good book out ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives. It's a really good book and easy to read. I think you will like it.

Answer 4

hey if u want to sleep with him then do it ( hey i dont think its so terrible its pretty understandable )
ull get bored with it and realize that is just a comfort thing and ull want to move on eventually. Sex is a pretty basic instinct and the need to feel wanted and needed are entwined in sex. Its non threatening and u know each other and its safe
so its understandable
To be honest with u i wouldnt give a flying **** about the other woman shes manouvered herself into that position with a vunerable man she gets wat she deserves
If u r both still in love with each other then wat r u doing apart ?

maybe a little bit of counselling might help u to get things in perspective - a hobby or trying to make a new life for urself
but it really worries me that u say that ur both saying u still love each other - try somne counselling
good luck

Answer 5

You have rights to him as far as the bible is concerned, so it is he who is committing adultery against YOU when he sleeps with his current wife. SCREW man's law. It is obviously flawed. Look at who's been making them; Satan's son.

Anyway, if I were you, I would go for him as if he belonged to you, doing whatever it took to get him back. I would not even think about being guilty or feeling guilty as his current wife is the adulterous, not you. If you do some biblical research you will find this is true.

You have nothing at all to be ashamed of and I would be proud to have a lady like you in love with me.

Answer 6

My sister is in the same situation. However, she admitted to her husband that she still is in love with her ex and he is willing to let them be together. He admitted to his wife that he still loved my sister and his wife was hurt, but she said she always felt threatened. We were at a funeral and since our families are really close, he came and brought his wife. My sister was very distraught (Due to the passing) at the funeral and almost fainted, that man jumped over chairs to catch her(the ex). We all knew that the "newbies" in their lives were in trouble.
They dated since they were 16 years old and are now 32.
They are all handling this pretty well, they never had any intentions of hurting anyone. This is a tough one!!!

Answer 7

I pray that you will find someone who you can once again have a commited relationship with again.
I have a friend who had something similar happen.
The two ex's became better friends than they were when they were married.
One of them remarried and they are still good friends to this day.
I think it's wonderful that you haven't or don't just play around -

Answer 8

You can never know, untill you try maybe it will work; but I think that, based on what you said, that you ll just make the same mistakes again.. since you have been on the same situation for years; but believe me dear no one can decide for you. Just think wisely see the proes & cones & then shooot..
Wish you all the best; good luck

Answer 9

If both you and him share the same feelings? Why is he still married to another woman? Talk to him. See if he REALLY cars about you, or just wants a lay. If he really cares, then he should divorce his now wife and marry you.

Answer 10

when you cope with divorce everyone involved has to go trough a phase of 5 stages of emotions to get over it just like coping with death, first is denial you can't believe it is happening, then there is frustration and think this only happens to you, then anger, then there is forgiveness where you realize it was not entirely 50/50 your fault then there is acceptance of you and what you learned out of this relationship and are now a better person than before. he goes trough it, she goes trough it and the children go trough it. too.